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<blockquote data-quote="Blondiesbf" data-source="post: 451219" data-attributes="member: 12548"><p>Thank-you for the welcome. I have spent some time reading previous threads. It breaks my heart and brings tears to my eyes. But there is also something inside that has found relief that I am finally not alone anymore.</p><p></p><p>I don't know if this is the correct forum for me but it is pretty darn close. C has mild ADD but nothing that has caused problems. Neither boy was a problem growing up. The problems started AFTER they graduated high school.</p><p></p><p>In the case of R, it is very difficult to know the 'right' thing to do because he has so many underlying issues he is dealing with. I do strongly believe the alcohol is a crutch and he even stated it is a "social thing" while his friends say he tends to drink more when he is angry. Either way, the drinking has caused problems and could have resulted in death, to include his own. He was not driving last week; the boys had a daughter. None-the-less, the was irresponsible with the car...it's a privledge, not a right, despite the fact he makes payments! I co-signed so I can take it away.</p><p></p><p>He doesn't really talk to us about his deeper issues. I know what I know from talking to his friends and my own gut. (I use the term friends loosely). He has talked to C but they aren't close right now due to the increasing problems. C is so angry right now. </p><p></p><p>I have already been to counseling so I can deal with this with-o having panic attacks. I also learned I can't fix everything...no matter how much I want to.</p><p></p><p>My reading of threads makes me realize I need to take more drastic steps but I have to be ready too...as selfish as that may sound. With the support here, I know I can get there. I also know my husband supports the more drastic measures...I am the LIMFAC (limiting factor). I just need strength because at the end of the day, despite how I feel, it's not about me, it's about R and ultimately getting him the help he needs!</p><p></p><p>Heavy sigh.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Blondiesbf, post: 451219, member: 12548"] Thank-you for the welcome. I have spent some time reading previous threads. It breaks my heart and brings tears to my eyes. But there is also something inside that has found relief that I am finally not alone anymore. I don't know if this is the correct forum for me but it is pretty darn close. C has mild ADD but nothing that has caused problems. Neither boy was a problem growing up. The problems started AFTER they graduated high school. In the case of R, it is very difficult to know the 'right' thing to do because he has so many underlying issues he is dealing with. I do strongly believe the alcohol is a crutch and he even stated it is a "social thing" while his friends say he tends to drink more when he is angry. Either way, the drinking has caused problems and could have resulted in death, to include his own. He was not driving last week; the boys had a daughter. None-the-less, the was irresponsible with the car...it's a privledge, not a right, despite the fact he makes payments! I co-signed so I can take it away. He doesn't really talk to us about his deeper issues. I know what I know from talking to his friends and my own gut. (I use the term friends loosely). He has talked to C but they aren't close right now due to the increasing problems. C is so angry right now. I have already been to counseling so I can deal with this with-o having panic attacks. I also learned I can't fix everything...no matter how much I want to. My reading of threads makes me realize I need to take more drastic steps but I have to be ready too...as selfish as that may sound. With the support here, I know I can get there. I also know my husband supports the more drastic measures...I am the LIMFAC (limiting factor). I just need strength because at the end of the day, despite how I feel, it's not about me, it's about R and ultimately getting him the help he needs! Heavy sigh. [/QUOTE]
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