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<blockquote data-quote="Blondiesbf" data-source="post: 451303" data-attributes="member: 12548"><p>Woke up this morning with a better, clearer attitude. Amazing how deeply yesterday affected me when Ricky came home drunk yesterday morning...as I was heading to work!!! I don't want it to affect me so profoundly. I started the book last night. Very interesting. Addressed how the addicts addiction doesn't just take the addict down but takes the family down with it. (well duh!) Also pointed out in waiting for the addict to hit rock bottom, we are allowing the addiction to continue, taking us along for an often long ride. (got it, don't want to be on this roller coaster long!) Still more to read. Fast-forwarded to the intervention part. Several types addressed and will read through those later today. What I did like about this book is it addresses how the family feels about addiction instead of being purely devoted to the addict. How the family is affected and taking positive steps toward resolution versus waiting it out. Have to finish the book before I can truly agree or not.</p><p></p><p>With all I've read from all of you, I'm unsure whether to focus on Ricky's other issues first or focus on the alcohol. Both are valid but one could be leading to the other. And I certainly don't want to overwhelm him, perhaps setting off a fight or flight trigger (aka a bottle of booze) reaction. It's going to be a balancing act. Firm. Strong. Realistic. (Sigh) </p><p></p><p>When he came home last night, he asked when he was getting his car back. I asked him when he was going to sit down and talk to us. No negative reaction. No fight. He knows he needs to sit with us. The ball is currently in his court. husband and I will need to talk before we talk with Ricky to ensure we are on the same page when the discussion comes. To ensure we limit what is discussed and that we present a firm, united front.</p><p></p><p>This is all so confusing...like a large, elaborate maze. And not knowing if you are doing the right thing until you see the reaction/outcome. At the end of the day, we will not give up. But like I said at the beginning, I really don't like this roller coaster! Guess I'm strapped in tight whether I like it or not!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Blondiesbf, post: 451303, member: 12548"] Woke up this morning with a better, clearer attitude. Amazing how deeply yesterday affected me when Ricky came home drunk yesterday morning...as I was heading to work!!! I don't want it to affect me so profoundly. I started the book last night. Very interesting. Addressed how the addicts addiction doesn't just take the addict down but takes the family down with it. (well duh!) Also pointed out in waiting for the addict to hit rock bottom, we are allowing the addiction to continue, taking us along for an often long ride. (got it, don't want to be on this roller coaster long!) Still more to read. Fast-forwarded to the intervention part. Several types addressed and will read through those later today. What I did like about this book is it addresses how the family feels about addiction instead of being purely devoted to the addict. How the family is affected and taking positive steps toward resolution versus waiting it out. Have to finish the book before I can truly agree or not. With all I've read from all of you, I'm unsure whether to focus on Ricky's other issues first or focus on the alcohol. Both are valid but one could be leading to the other. And I certainly don't want to overwhelm him, perhaps setting off a fight or flight trigger (aka a bottle of booze) reaction. It's going to be a balancing act. Firm. Strong. Realistic. (Sigh) When he came home last night, he asked when he was getting his car back. I asked him when he was going to sit down and talk to us. No negative reaction. No fight. He knows he needs to sit with us. The ball is currently in his court. husband and I will need to talk before we talk with Ricky to ensure we are on the same page when the discussion comes. To ensure we limit what is discussed and that we present a firm, united front. This is all so confusing...like a large, elaborate maze. And not knowing if you are doing the right thing until you see the reaction/outcome. At the end of the day, we will not give up. But like I said at the beginning, I really don't like this roller coaster! Guess I'm strapped in tight whether I like it or not! [/QUOTE]
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