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Saying goodbye to difficult child today
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 633423" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>We can so empathize with you Needza, that pain in your heart is deep and it hurts. Detaching from my daughter, my only child, like yours, was the most difficult thing I've ever done, ever. The pain is raw and sharp.</p><p></p><p>Get support for yourself. Do kind and nourishing things for YOU. Begin the process of placing the focus on yourself now, your adult child is stepping in to her own destiny. What Pasa said about a piece out of place at the core of us is very true, well said. </p><p></p><p>We can learn to move through it and move ahead. It is not easy, for me it required a lot of support, but it is possible to mend that hole in your heart and begin to thrive in your own life as opposed to simply surviving day by day as we wait for the other shoe to drop. Amazingly, we can even learn to navigate this treacherous landscape. </p><p></p><p>You ARE mourning a loss, the loss of your dreams for your child, the way you imagined it would be......it's tough to let those go. But we are on a different journey here and acceptance of that journey is what makes it easier to bear. Once we start to let go of what we thought it was going to be and accept what is, the burden becomes lighter and we feel better. </p><p></p><p>Most others don't "get it" we are often alone and isolated from any real understanding, because you have to walk in these shoes to know the devastation of it...........and most parents don't know.</p><p></p><p>I'm so sorry for your pain. I know how you feel. Most of us here in PE do. Be very kind to yourself today and in the coming days. It is very important to meet YOUR needs now. difficult child's take up a lot of air in the room and we get used to that, you have to now take up that air yourself, your parenting as you knew it is over and now begins a new chapter in your life. </p><p></p><p>Wishing you peace as you walk through this........sending you comforting thoughts.........</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 633423, member: 13542"] We can so empathize with you Needza, that pain in your heart is deep and it hurts. Detaching from my daughter, my only child, like yours, was the most difficult thing I've ever done, ever. The pain is raw and sharp. Get support for yourself. Do kind and nourishing things for YOU. Begin the process of placing the focus on yourself now, your adult child is stepping in to her own destiny. What Pasa said about a piece out of place at the core of us is very true, well said. We can learn to move through it and move ahead. It is not easy, for me it required a lot of support, but it is possible to mend that hole in your heart and begin to thrive in your own life as opposed to simply surviving day by day as we wait for the other shoe to drop. Amazingly, we can even learn to navigate this treacherous landscape. You ARE mourning a loss, the loss of your dreams for your child, the way you imagined it would be......it's tough to let those go. But we are on a different journey here and acceptance of that journey is what makes it easier to bear. Once we start to let go of what we thought it was going to be and accept what is, the burden becomes lighter and we feel better. Most others don't "get it" we are often alone and isolated from any real understanding, because you have to walk in these shoes to know the devastation of it...........and most parents don't know. I'm so sorry for your pain. I know how you feel. Most of us here in PE do. Be very kind to yourself today and in the coming days. It is very important to meet YOUR needs now. difficult child's take up a lot of air in the room and we get used to that, you have to now take up that air yourself, your parenting as you knew it is over and now begins a new chapter in your life. Wishing you peace as you walk through this........sending you comforting thoughts......... [/QUOTE]
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