Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Saying goodbye to difficult child today
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 633479" data-attributes="member: 4152"><p>I so agree with Lil and the other posters. And I totally relate to what you are saying. I recall when our difficult child left the house at age 19, I was conflicted...even very sad. I knew she had to leave or I might get sicker (I have autoimmune health problems). The stress was doing a number on me. Yet, I didn't really think she was equipped to make it on her own and of course, she wasn't and basically isn't. In our case, she is on disability and that helps a bit. Since she has left, a lot of really crazy things have happened, yet, somehow she has survived. I think it's been 6.5 years or something. Geez. In those years, she has learned a teeeeeny tiny bit. So very little. At this rate, she will be 90 before she acts like a 21 year old...and she is closer to 30 than that. When she left the house, my friend's kids were going to college. I had started a book club and wouldn't ya know it, I was EXCLUDED from discussions about the children. It was seriously weird. Everyone would take turns bragging about their kids and I would just be passed over. I guess in a way they were being nice to me, but it still hurt, nevertheless. Well, even though my daughter has only matured a very very little, she has still managed to survive and she has matured a teeny bit, which is the right direction. AND, I can say she does hesitate to be rude/disrespectful to us. (It still happens though, but much less often). So....yes, I would say in that arena, she has grown. in my humble opinion, we had no choice to get her out of the house and I'm sure you didn't either. Did, any of us? Honestly, it is the only way they will grow, the only hope that they will learn any gratitude for anything and the only way for US to regain our health and happiness. And, I have heard of plenty of stories that is when the parents let go, that many difficult children change for the better. On a smaller scale...our son who was not truly a difficult child, but had some issues for a short while did mature when he was forced to rely on himself. The more we released him to sink or swim, the more he grew and he is a major, mega, award winning easy child today! He blossomed more than I ever could imagine. Our daughter is mentally ill and things are different for her and we have learned to cope with teeeeny tiny improvements. It is what it is. Save yourself! In due time, you will feel better.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 633479, member: 4152"] I so agree with Lil and the other posters. And I totally relate to what you are saying. I recall when our difficult child left the house at age 19, I was conflicted...even very sad. I knew she had to leave or I might get sicker (I have autoimmune health problems). The stress was doing a number on me. Yet, I didn't really think she was equipped to make it on her own and of course, she wasn't and basically isn't. In our case, she is on disability and that helps a bit. Since she has left, a lot of really crazy things have happened, yet, somehow she has survived. I think it's been 6.5 years or something. Geez. In those years, she has learned a teeeeeny tiny bit. So very little. At this rate, she will be 90 before she acts like a 21 year old...and she is closer to 30 than that. When she left the house, my friend's kids were going to college. I had started a book club and wouldn't ya know it, I was EXCLUDED from discussions about the children. It was seriously weird. Everyone would take turns bragging about their kids and I would just be passed over. I guess in a way they were being nice to me, but it still hurt, nevertheless. Well, even though my daughter has only matured a very very little, she has still managed to survive and she has matured a teeny bit, which is the right direction. AND, I can say she does hesitate to be rude/disrespectful to us. (It still happens though, but much less often). So....yes, I would say in that arena, she has grown. in my humble opinion, we had no choice to get her out of the house and I'm sure you didn't either. Did, any of us? Honestly, it is the only way they will grow, the only hope that they will learn any gratitude for anything and the only way for US to regain our health and happiness. And, I have heard of plenty of stories that is when the parents let go, that many difficult children change for the better. On a smaller scale...our son who was not truly a difficult child, but had some issues for a short while did mature when he was forced to rely on himself. The more we released him to sink or swim, the more he grew and he is a major, mega, award winning easy child today! He blossomed more than I ever could imagine. Our daughter is mentally ill and things are different for her and we have learned to cope with teeeeny tiny improvements. It is what it is. Save yourself! In due time, you will feel better. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Saying goodbye to difficult child today
Top