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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 603415" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Is it possible he doesn't have any medical condition? Sounds like he's a big manipulator and not a very nice person. Many of our kids are that way. If he doesn't want to tell you what's going on with him, then let him not tell you. Can you trust that what he tells you is true anyway or could it be a ploy to try to get money from you? </p><p></p><p>Why do you want to know what he doesn't want to tell you? It will probably only hurt you and you can't change anything. Have you ever tried detachment?</p><p></p><p>It is very hard to love a child who is not nice and lies and steals. But I learned, and it wasn't easy, that WE have lives to live too and we need to go on enjoying them even if we have damaged children. It doesn't help the adult child if we suffer with their bad choices. Your son is a full grown adult now and there is nothing you can do to help him...you have control over only one person...YOU. And your son has control over himself. </p><p></p><p>If he wants to be a hateful, uncaring son after all I'm sure you've done for him, either due to mental illness, drugs or just meanness, you can't change him. The more you chase after him, the more he will try to take advantage of you. Can you give us a background on him? Was he always this way? Does he have a drug problem? Does he refuse to help himself?</p><p></p><p>Please, please be good to yourself. Get therapy if necessary.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 603415, member: 1550"] Is it possible he doesn't have any medical condition? Sounds like he's a big manipulator and not a very nice person. Many of our kids are that way. If he doesn't want to tell you what's going on with him, then let him not tell you. Can you trust that what he tells you is true anyway or could it be a ploy to try to get money from you? Why do you want to know what he doesn't want to tell you? It will probably only hurt you and you can't change anything. Have you ever tried detachment? It is very hard to love a child who is not nice and lies and steals. But I learned, and it wasn't easy, that WE have lives to live too and we need to go on enjoying them even if we have damaged children. It doesn't help the adult child if we suffer with their bad choices. Your son is a full grown adult now and there is nothing you can do to help him...you have control over only one person...YOU. And your son has control over himself. If he wants to be a hateful, uncaring son after all I'm sure you've done for him, either due to mental illness, drugs or just meanness, you can't change him. The more you chase after him, the more he will try to take advantage of you. Can you give us a background on him? Was he always this way? Does he have a drug problem? Does he refuse to help himself? Please, please be good to yourself. Get therapy if necessary. [/QUOTE]
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