Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Saying Hello
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 603447" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Welcome back AL, thanks for the update. You seem to be in a pretty good position with your adult son. You mentioned that he is working and supporting himself, he isn't asking anything of you except to believe his stories. Perhaps I am not understanding this and please correct me if I am wrong, but it seems that you are over-focused on your son. He may believe he had a bad childhood and that is his prerogative, you can't change his opinions nor can you make him stay in contact with you.</p><p></p><p>There is an article at the bottom of my post here on detachment, it may be helpful. It may be time to stop trying to figure out your sons motives and what he is up to and start to concentrate on <em>your </em>life. Sometimes after we've been enabling our kids for so long, we forget how to have our own lives, it takes an effort to bring our focus back to ourselves. You may need some professional help to change that focus. Your son is 32, he is a grown man. He is a grown man taking care of himself. Whatever issues he has, at present he is not willing to talk to you about them. You can continue trying to figure it all out and expend all your energy on him, or you can begin the process of detaching from your son and find ways to enjoy your own life, find your own joy, your own fulfillment and your own peace of mind. We can't change another, but we have all the power we need to change ourselves. It can be challenging to do that, but unless we do, we are going to stay in chaos and stress which is crazy making at best.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 603447, member: 13542"] Welcome back AL, thanks for the update. You seem to be in a pretty good position with your adult son. You mentioned that he is working and supporting himself, he isn't asking anything of you except to believe his stories. Perhaps I am not understanding this and please correct me if I am wrong, but it seems that you are over-focused on your son. He may believe he had a bad childhood and that is his prerogative, you can't change his opinions nor can you make him stay in contact with you. There is an article at the bottom of my post here on detachment, it may be helpful. It may be time to stop trying to figure out your sons motives and what he is up to and start to concentrate on [I]your [/I]life. Sometimes after we've been enabling our kids for so long, we forget how to have our own lives, it takes an effort to bring our focus back to ourselves. You may need some professional help to change that focus. Your son is 32, he is a grown man. He is a grown man taking care of himself. Whatever issues he has, at present he is not willing to talk to you about them. You can continue trying to figure it all out and expend all your energy on him, or you can begin the process of detaching from your son and find ways to enjoy your own life, find your own joy, your own fulfillment and your own peace of mind. We can't change another, but we have all the power we need to change ourselves. It can be challenging to do that, but unless we do, we are going to stay in chaos and stress which is crazy making at best. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Saying Hello
Top