Hi everyone. I have been a lurker on this board for 2 days now and as read more and more, I find myself stopping to go back and read out loud to husband. There are so many threads on here that I can relate to. In the past I have done research on my own in ADHD, BiPolar, anything and everything and I seem to say yes to 8 of 10 items on a checklist for each and then I find something new and I can say yes to that as well. I am driving myself crazy and I need to stop. I need a plan and that is why I am writting this now - what should my plan be?
Here is my background.
My son is almost 6. He has been in daycare since 6 months old. He was a calm baby, good sleeper and eater. He was always and still is advanced academically for his age. Since the day he could talk he told me he saw ghosts in my house. He would say it was a man (I asked daddy or mommy ghost). He was never afraid and I never saw him talking or interacting with said ghost but he did often tell me he was there. The night terrors started at 2.5. If you have never experienced one, I hope you never do. I was ready to leave the house and run to the nearest church. Eyes wide open scremaing and shaking. It was horrible. Those lasted about 1 year and only subsided with husband sleeping on his floor. (Now at 6 he is in my bed when I wake up 90% of the time, at somepoint he comes in during the night) At 3 I was told he couldn't hear and needed tubes in his ears (in hindsight the 20 ear infections in 3 years should have told the dr that a little sooner then when she did a hearing test). The tubes were successful and just a few months ago one fell out. Around 4 years old he started acting out. Not too bad, just not listening and following directions. there were numerous conflicts at dayacre with him not listening, hitting other children and so on. Countless teacher meetings and incident reports came home. He wasn't too bad at home. At the time he had a younger brother only 6 months old. He is kind caring and loving to him (and still is). We would have good weeks and bad weeks. We have had reward charts for years now and sometimes they matter and sometimes they don't. Now he is in Kindergarten and aftercare. his behaviour is either great at one and terrible at the other or vice versa. He is an active boy, very smart. He is loving and still very protective of his brother and sister. Here is a list of what we deal with now:
*Hitting at school - even the teacher is he doesn't like what she says *Flat out saying no I am not going to do that *Stomping and hitting the walls when told to go to his room *Screaming if he doesn't get his way *If something upsets his in a sad way he crumbles and cries hysterically *Throwing toys at other children at school *Replying I don't know when asked why he did something, he knows its wrong but has this glared look as if he really doesn't know why I wonder if he is even listening to the question *We went to Disney last Oct and he didn't smile once, he seemed to be so concerned with what was next he didnt enjoy anything *Bed time is a hassle and drags on for 30 minutes some times
Now at home when I tell him no or to stop watching tv and come for dinner its a meltdown, but I just started, you just don't want me to watch, you never let me do anything. He recently has started saying you just want me to always be in trouble, you think I'm dumb.
Here is a random odd one - he always has his hand either pulling up his shirt or down his pants
Our family life is good. husband and I are happy and we have 2 younger children. I do not fear for them at all. In fact I find it more disturbing that my son can be so sweet and loving to them and so mean to others. Don't get me wrong at times he is such a little mush ball that you wonder what happens to make him act out so much. He is still ahead academically, he has no speech issues. He is always forgetting things, like returning books to school or leaving a drawing at after care. It always seems to be my fault for not reminding him to get it. I wanted him to forget it or so he says. He is a fantastic artist. Neither myself or husband have any ability there and I have always been amazed at where it came from. I have contacted centers and been asked over the phone if I want a medication evaluation. I hadn't even told them my name yet! I a not against medication but not as a first step. I contacted early intervention at the school and they gave me the run around that his behaviour has improved since his teacher did a reward chart for him - I guess the fact that the same day they told me that he hit is after care teacher doens't really matter since it isnt on their soil. I have been through such a wide array of emotions. I am no longer mad at him. I feel sorry for him. I have read the explosive child and I do believe he would benefit from cognative therapy but I am at a loss as to how to get it. No one seems to want to get to the bottom of the issues, they only want to bandaid the sittuations. I know in my gut that there is something just not right with my little boy. I am afraid that the school will call one day and WANT to talk to me because he did something horrific. I am scared for what is down the road if I don't address the issues now. husband used to be on the boys will be boys bandwagon and has recently come slightly over to my side of more deep rooted issues. This shows me that I am not crazy! I don't really even know what to say to someone when I contact them for help. DoI tell them I think he is ADHD, then they ask if he does good school work and he does. He can focus if he wants to. Is it ODD, he always seems to argue with me. - Example - me - the sky is blue, son - no its gray. me - no its blue. son - yes BUt if it were rainy and the run wasn't out it could be grey. me - yes, but it is blue today. son - BUT if it wasn't sunny... this is a typical conversation we would have. He seems to always need to have the last word. Something his teachers always said, he would try to negotiate his way out of everything. Unfortunatley with some of the younger inexperienced aides it would work. He's a cute kid, blonde hair , blue eyes, he just looks at you and you forget why your mad at him. I am trying not to say that he is cunning, but for a 6 year old - he is and that adds to the fear I have of the future. I don't want to think of where it will go. I guess I have rambled on enough. If there any kind hearts still reading... what do I do. How do I explain to docs and teachers what I want and why?
Here is my background.
My son is almost 6. He has been in daycare since 6 months old. He was a calm baby, good sleeper and eater. He was always and still is advanced academically for his age. Since the day he could talk he told me he saw ghosts in my house. He would say it was a man (I asked daddy or mommy ghost). He was never afraid and I never saw him talking or interacting with said ghost but he did often tell me he was there. The night terrors started at 2.5. If you have never experienced one, I hope you never do. I was ready to leave the house and run to the nearest church. Eyes wide open scremaing and shaking. It was horrible. Those lasted about 1 year and only subsided with husband sleeping on his floor. (Now at 6 he is in my bed when I wake up 90% of the time, at somepoint he comes in during the night) At 3 I was told he couldn't hear and needed tubes in his ears (in hindsight the 20 ear infections in 3 years should have told the dr that a little sooner then when she did a hearing test). The tubes were successful and just a few months ago one fell out. Around 4 years old he started acting out. Not too bad, just not listening and following directions. there were numerous conflicts at dayacre with him not listening, hitting other children and so on. Countless teacher meetings and incident reports came home. He wasn't too bad at home. At the time he had a younger brother only 6 months old. He is kind caring and loving to him (and still is). We would have good weeks and bad weeks. We have had reward charts for years now and sometimes they matter and sometimes they don't. Now he is in Kindergarten and aftercare. his behaviour is either great at one and terrible at the other or vice versa. He is an active boy, very smart. He is loving and still very protective of his brother and sister. Here is a list of what we deal with now:
*Hitting at school - even the teacher is he doesn't like what she says *Flat out saying no I am not going to do that *Stomping and hitting the walls when told to go to his room *Screaming if he doesn't get his way *If something upsets his in a sad way he crumbles and cries hysterically *Throwing toys at other children at school *Replying I don't know when asked why he did something, he knows its wrong but has this glared look as if he really doesn't know why I wonder if he is even listening to the question *We went to Disney last Oct and he didn't smile once, he seemed to be so concerned with what was next he didnt enjoy anything *Bed time is a hassle and drags on for 30 minutes some times
Now at home when I tell him no or to stop watching tv and come for dinner its a meltdown, but I just started, you just don't want me to watch, you never let me do anything. He recently has started saying you just want me to always be in trouble, you think I'm dumb.
Here is a random odd one - he always has his hand either pulling up his shirt or down his pants
Our family life is good. husband and I are happy and we have 2 younger children. I do not fear for them at all. In fact I find it more disturbing that my son can be so sweet and loving to them and so mean to others. Don't get me wrong at times he is such a little mush ball that you wonder what happens to make him act out so much. He is still ahead academically, he has no speech issues. He is always forgetting things, like returning books to school or leaving a drawing at after care. It always seems to be my fault for not reminding him to get it. I wanted him to forget it or so he says. He is a fantastic artist. Neither myself or husband have any ability there and I have always been amazed at where it came from. I have contacted centers and been asked over the phone if I want a medication evaluation. I hadn't even told them my name yet! I a not against medication but not as a first step. I contacted early intervention at the school and they gave me the run around that his behaviour has improved since his teacher did a reward chart for him - I guess the fact that the same day they told me that he hit is after care teacher doens't really matter since it isnt on their soil. I have been through such a wide array of emotions. I am no longer mad at him. I feel sorry for him. I have read the explosive child and I do believe he would benefit from cognative therapy but I am at a loss as to how to get it. No one seems to want to get to the bottom of the issues, they only want to bandaid the sittuations. I know in my gut that there is something just not right with my little boy. I am afraid that the school will call one day and WANT to talk to me because he did something horrific. I am scared for what is down the road if I don't address the issues now. husband used to be on the boys will be boys bandwagon and has recently come slightly over to my side of more deep rooted issues. This shows me that I am not crazy! I don't really even know what to say to someone when I contact them for help. DoI tell them I think he is ADHD, then they ask if he does good school work and he does. He can focus if he wants to. Is it ODD, he always seems to argue with me. - Example - me - the sky is blue, son - no its gray. me - no its blue. son - yes BUt if it were rainy and the run wasn't out it could be grey. me - yes, but it is blue today. son - BUT if it wasn't sunny... this is a typical conversation we would have. He seems to always need to have the last word. Something his teachers always said, he would try to negotiate his way out of everything. Unfortunatley with some of the younger inexperienced aides it would work. He's a cute kid, blonde hair , blue eyes, he just looks at you and you forget why your mad at him. I am trying not to say that he is cunning, but for a 6 year old - he is and that adds to the fear I have of the future. I don't want to think of where it will go. I guess I have rambled on enough. If there any kind hearts still reading... what do I do. How do I explain to docs and teachers what I want and why?
You were already told to keep the papers on everything,so continue daily journals good or bad. Hugs
