Scared Out of My Mind....Need Calm and Solutions

[toughlovin]

You absolutely are not crazy. This sounds very scary. She clearly needs treatment and none of you are safe until she gets it. So there are several options which have been mentioned.

1. Take her yourself to the ER preferrably of a psychiatric hospital. Take her writings. Tell them you are very afraid for all of your safety.

2. If you don't feel comfortable taking her call the police. It is baloney that they cant do anything until something happens...thats a lazy cop talking. Their job is to serve and protect and that is what you need now. Call them and tell they you are very afraid and that you feel that you are all in danger. They can help get her to a psychiatric hospital. In some places there are emergency psychiatric services that will come to the house to evaluate her. With anyone evaluating her be up front and very honest about your fears.

3. Call CPS and tell them you can't take care of her in this situation. Ask for services. If they don't give you options tell them your other child is very much at risk and you are too.

This is a serious situation. One thing is that none of these agencies is going to want to have a homicide on their heads.... so make it clear how much you think you and your other child is in danger. That should get you some help.

Please keep us posted.

 

[tiredmommy]

Another thought... find a safe place to store evidence so she doesn't have the opportunity to destroy it. Like a safety deposit box at the bank. Don't even tell her you have any evidence and where you're placing it.

 

[susiestar]

If the people at the ER or a police officer tells you that she seems "fine" and they can do nothing, call the top person. tell this top person that you are very much afraid of your daughter and want her admitted for a 72 hour hold because she is planning to kill all of you, esp your son. Let them KNOW that if anything happens documents will go to the newpaper, state representatives and everyone else you can think of. These will show that you did everything you could and the police and the hospitals REFUSED to help because she "seemed" fine in a 20-30 minute evaluation. Ted Bundy seemed fine for a long time to a lot of people. How many people did he kill? Her writings, and the fact that she thinks she is writing a "comedy" should be proof enough that she is unhinged and dangerous. Real people do NOT mistake horror for comedy. They just don't.

If you get no help tomorrow look up your state representatives. Call their offices and press whatever will get you to a live body. Or go to the Chief of Police for help. Be prepared to stay in his office waiting for him to have time to speak with you regardless of how long it takes.

Or at least go to the doctor or therapist's office and sit there until they have time to speak with you. Even if it takes all day. Be sure therapist has Friday hours. If she is only there in the morning get there early and stay all morning if you need to. Make sure she knows it is THAT important.

 

[JJJ]

And please check in here a lot so we know you are okay.

 

[janebrain]

We had a case here in my town recently where a mentally ill young man beat his mother to death. They had taken him to the ER because he was making threats against his mother but he wasn't admitted to the psychiatric unit because he "seemed fine". Later that night he killed his mother. Now when he is lucid he has to live with that and his family has lost a wife and mother.

Please be careful, and keep checking in with us.

Hugs to you,
Jane

 

[Fran]

I agree with taking ds out of the home to a peaceful place. He will have so much horror in his life because of sister's illness. If he can go to his aunts just for a reprieve
while you and husband decide how best to move forward with difficult child. Your son can not grow up being afraid for his life or being brutalized by her words.
I would take ds to a homeless shelter with me just to keep him safe and not have to be screamed at by an out of control teen.
Document who you are calling, what you are telling them and what their response is. She needs to be stabilized and your son needs support and security.
I'm sorry.

 

[DaisyFace]

Good morning--

So we received a response back from the doctor....

We are going to bring difficult child to her tomorrow for an "evaluation" so that she can be hospitalized. The "evaluation" is so that she can be referred directly from the doctor's office to the hospital...

Meanwhile, husband is home today and is going to let DS and I get away for a while. His plan is to try and confront difficult child about some of this stuff.

If he can get her to fly into a rage, he is going to take her to the ER today.

I will keep updating...

 

[toughlovin]

I am glad you are all still ok and got a hold of the doctor. I wonder about the wisdom of your husband confronting her...both for safety reasons and alsobi don't think you want to tip her off.

I hope you and your son can get some respite and a good nights sleep.

 

[SRL]

It sounds like a good plan but I also agree that the time to confront difficult child isn't a few hours prior to hospitalization, especially when he's home alone with her. Do the intake, let the specialists do their job, and then confront any issues during therapy sessions with therapist.

 

[AnnieO]

DF, it sounds like the doctor is taking you seriously. As well as husband. I'm keeping lots of body parts crossed for you!!!

 

[Wiped Out]

I hope things go well tomorrow. Hugs.

 

[TerryJ2]

Gosh, your head must be spinning with all the things you have to do. I hope you can find some peace and quiet, and that your therapist calls or emails, pronto!

 

[Nomad]

Can you send the brother away to a safe/separate location?
It hardly seems fair...but that might be the way to go temporarily, until you can have your difficult child removed from the home.
I would call the police and if that doesn't work, CPS and if that doesn't work...an attorney.
Carefully document everything and take this extremely seriously.
Make sure everyone understands the urgency.
You have an obligation/duty to protect your son.

 

[barneysmom]

Hi Daisy,

I've had some very similar circumstances with gfg16 lately. I too think it's a good idea to tell everyone the others have mentioned -- as someone said, no one's going to want to have a homicide on their hands. I ended up calling our state rep -- the aides were extremely helpful and got CMH involved (they were dragging their feet). Also liked suggestion of CPS.

My son also ended up psychotic, as I think Kanga's mom mentioned, and he was hearing voices. We found out later -- voices telling him to shoot people.

I was looking at your daughter's diagnoses. I think that along with a mood disorder and adolescence, things like Central Auditory Processing Disorder (CAPD) and NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD) can really cut these kids off from reality more than I had given them credit for before my son got so sick. I think the mind kind of just gives up. Also homicidal ideation is common in mood disorder out of control (not trying to minimize -- I myself felt better hearing that fact). But it does indicate a person who's pretty ill.

If it is pre-psychosis (prodromal), try not to let her go into full-blown psychosis. You could use that as leverage with any bureaucracy you may encounter -- that the most important time is right now (called the "prodrome," not true psychosis, but things just aren't right) -- to prevent a true psychotic episode. From my recent reading (and experience), the U.S. is really backward, even casual, even cavalier, when it comes to psychosis management and prevention. In Europe, psychiatry is much more aggressive in spotting people at risk for psychosis and heading it off. There are a lot of clinics there for psychosis screening and prevention.

Leave a paper trail -- use email if you can, or if you have a phone convo, type up a copy and fax a copy to whomever you spoke with.

If your daughter goes to psychiatric hospital -- don't let them send her home unstable. That happened so many times to us. Mental health advocate said to tell them "we won't be talking about discharge until she's not a danger to self or others."

Hugs and all peaceful blessing to you. It's hard isn't it? You'll make it. keep advocating for the safety of your entire family, and your rights according to mental health law.

HTH some. You'll be in my thoughts.

 

[TerryJ2]

Just checking in ...

 

[DammitJanet]

DL....I really hope things get better for you soon. It has to be hell having the difficult child being an older, more aggressive child. At least I was spared that nightmare. Cory was the baby in the family.

I did want to say there may be hope on the age thing for consent. I was reading just by sheer chance the other day about age of consent in NC and it is 18! I guess they arent so dumb here so Cory really didnt have the choices he wouldnt have had even if the state was gonna be stupid enough to give them to him...lol.

Cory actually believed until he was 20 that I was his legal guardian and could make medical decisions for him. Then some stupid "friends" told him different and all my power went away. Sigh.

 

[TerryJ2]

Aw, Janet, lol. So sorry.

 

[totoro]

DL-
I have been reading and thinking of you. Just wanted to let you know.
FWIW- K, when unstable or on a fast cycle, hallucinates more and these are the times that she feels an increase in suicidal ideations and an overall sense of despair towards herself and in regards to her diagnosis and life.

 

[DaisyFace]

Thank you all for the thoughts and support--

I have been trying to get through one day at a time. I can completely relate to Hound-Dog's thread where she talks about her brain shutting down. That's kind of what I've been going through, too. I just could not handle one more thing - not one. So I've been trying to let a lot of stuff go...

And difficult child continues to be difficult child. Moody, angry, complaining...laying around doing nothing. Some of her complaints are so ridiculous it's almost funny.

This camp starts next Saturday.
I
cannot
wait!

 

[comatheart]

So what happened? Did your difficult child go to the hospital? I seem to have missed that update.

My difficult child has previously planned to hurt his younger brother by giving him crushed up prescription medications. This thread has been very interesting to me as I had no idea what to do at the time! The doctor believed my difficult child when he said it was "just a joke". We know better and have watched the two of them like a hawk ever since.