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General Parenting
Scared Out of My Mind....Need Calm and Solutions
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 370122" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>The "screenplay" is a worry if she sees it as a comedy, but hopefully her writing it is defusing the need for her to live it. Writing can be very cathartic as well as very revealing. I hope you're keeping copies of absolutely every piece of writing you find. I think you need to, and you should forward this constantly to the docs. </p><p></p><p>Think of the situations where a blackmailer who is meeting a victim for a payoff, takes out "insurance" by first making sure there are copies of the incriminating evidence already in envelopes in a mailbox somewhere (or on the way to be delivered to a mailbox, by a third person) so that only if the blackmailer returns safely from the meeting, can the envelopes be stopped form being sent.</p><p>You need to think like that blackmailer, and make sure that if anything happens to any of you, the evidence is someone where safe.</p><p></p><p>You may be needlessly concerned, or you could even be not reacting enough. I can't say. Personally, I think you're right to be concerned, especially if she is trying to tell you how to parent, and is also telling you to punish someone for something they may or may not have actually done, years ago. "I'm angry about it tonight even though it may not have actually happened; so punish him now because I want him to hurt as badly as I do," is not a good basis for disciplining someone. by the way - she says she was 3 when DS allegedly did something bad to her - but according to your sig, he wasn't even born then! That really IS nuts, if she wants to punish him for something that happened (maybe) before he was conceived!</p><p></p><p>What happens if you ask her questions about her writing? For example, you clearly know about the content of her screenplay - what if you ask her, "Is this a comedy? What is it, do you think, that makes it a comedy?" Be as detached as you can, do not engage in any emotional stuff over it. Do not take it personally at any level. Just ask her for her opinion and do not comment on the validity of her opinion. But do write it down.</p><p>Don't do that, of course, if you fear it could set her off. But it would be interesting to get some sort of idea of what she is thinking. Another interesting question would be, "What kind of feedback have you had form your readers, on this?'</p><p>You compare her answers with whatever you understand to be the reality.</p><p></p><p>But no way are you nuts. Not YOU, anyway.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p><p>I think if we dug deep all of us could find something</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 370122, member: 1991"] The "screenplay" is a worry if she sees it as a comedy, but hopefully her writing it is defusing the need for her to live it. Writing can be very cathartic as well as very revealing. I hope you're keeping copies of absolutely every piece of writing you find. I think you need to, and you should forward this constantly to the docs. Think of the situations where a blackmailer who is meeting a victim for a payoff, takes out "insurance" by first making sure there are copies of the incriminating evidence already in envelopes in a mailbox somewhere (or on the way to be delivered to a mailbox, by a third person) so that only if the blackmailer returns safely from the meeting, can the envelopes be stopped form being sent. You need to think like that blackmailer, and make sure that if anything happens to any of you, the evidence is someone where safe. You may be needlessly concerned, or you could even be not reacting enough. I can't say. Personally, I think you're right to be concerned, especially if she is trying to tell you how to parent, and is also telling you to punish someone for something they may or may not have actually done, years ago. "I'm angry about it tonight even though it may not have actually happened; so punish him now because I want him to hurt as badly as I do," is not a good basis for disciplining someone. by the way - she says she was 3 when DS allegedly did something bad to her - but according to your sig, he wasn't even born then! That really IS nuts, if she wants to punish him for something that happened (maybe) before he was conceived! What happens if you ask her questions about her writing? For example, you clearly know about the content of her screenplay - what if you ask her, "Is this a comedy? What is it, do you think, that makes it a comedy?" Be as detached as you can, do not engage in any emotional stuff over it. Do not take it personally at any level. Just ask her for her opinion and do not comment on the validity of her opinion. But do write it down. Don't do that, of course, if you fear it could set her off. But it would be interesting to get some sort of idea of what she is thinking. Another interesting question would be, "What kind of feedback have you had form your readers, on this?' You compare her answers with whatever you understand to be the reality. But no way are you nuts. Not YOU, anyway. Marg I think if we dug deep all of us could find something [/QUOTE]
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