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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 633615" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I'm so sorry. I know that sense of dread and fear well. It seems to come with the territory with our kids. I know how you feel. </p><p></p><p>My daughter is adept at losing her phone or having it go dead, or just not picking up when I call..........all the while I would be dreaming up all the worst possible scenarios and scaring myself silly. A therapist would call it catastrophising, conjuring up the worst outcomes and feeling the fear of it. After doing that over and over again and then finding out everything was okay, I began realizing how much of my time was spent worrying about things that NEVER happened............waiting for the other shoe to drop. It turned out to be quite a lot of time.</p><p></p><p>This is scary stuff for us. These are our kids. AND, often they put themselves in harms way and there isn't a thing we can do about it........but wait for that phone call we've all prepared for.............it's a bad place to be.</p><p></p><p>However, with a certain amount of practice, we can find tools to shift our perspective, to change the way we look at it. When in the throes of that fear, deep breathing as already mentioned helps. So does exercise, a quick 11 minute walk will reset your brain............going to the gym...........talking to a friend..........going to a meeting, Al Anon or CoDa or whatever kind of support you can find where you can go and get your balance back............I found acupuncture to be a great help..........yoga, meditation, Tai Chi, doing something physical.................venting here on the board...............cooking.............we all have our own tool box of things that work for us. Do your best to put together your own, so it is at the ready when you fall down the rabbit hole next time.</p><p></p><p>Praying helps. Placing your son in the hands of your perception of a Higher Power is also helpful. </p><p></p><p>This takes time TearyEyed, it is a process..........and it isn't linear...........it's upside down, backwards and inside out.................we have to learn to ride these tidal waves to shore with as little damage to ourselves as we can muster, because other then how we respond, we are powerless to change it. We have no control over the choices of another. </p><p></p><p>Hang in there............take those deep breaths............keep posting............stay close................we're here if you need us.............I'm sorry you are feeling this...........</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 633615, member: 13542"] I'm so sorry. I know that sense of dread and fear well. It seems to come with the territory with our kids. I know how you feel. My daughter is adept at losing her phone or having it go dead, or just not picking up when I call..........all the while I would be dreaming up all the worst possible scenarios and scaring myself silly. A therapist would call it catastrophising, conjuring up the worst outcomes and feeling the fear of it. After doing that over and over again and then finding out everything was okay, I began realizing how much of my time was spent worrying about things that NEVER happened............waiting for the other shoe to drop. It turned out to be quite a lot of time. This is scary stuff for us. These are our kids. AND, often they put themselves in harms way and there isn't a thing we can do about it........but wait for that phone call we've all prepared for.............it's a bad place to be. However, with a certain amount of practice, we can find tools to shift our perspective, to change the way we look at it. When in the throes of that fear, deep breathing as already mentioned helps. So does exercise, a quick 11 minute walk will reset your brain............going to the gym...........talking to a friend..........going to a meeting, Al Anon or CoDa or whatever kind of support you can find where you can go and get your balance back............I found acupuncture to be a great help..........yoga, meditation, Tai Chi, doing something physical.................venting here on the board...............cooking.............we all have our own tool box of things that work for us. Do your best to put together your own, so it is at the ready when you fall down the rabbit hole next time. Praying helps. Placing your son in the hands of your perception of a Higher Power is also helpful. This takes time TearyEyed, it is a process..........and it isn't linear...........it's upside down, backwards and inside out.................we have to learn to ride these tidal waves to shore with as little damage to ourselves as we can muster, because other then how we respond, we are powerless to change it. We have no control over the choices of another. Hang in there............take those deep breaths............keep posting............stay close................we're here if you need us.............I'm sorry you are feeling this........... [/QUOTE]
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