Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Kitten1999, Oct 8, 2014.

  1. Kitten1999

    Kitten1999 Member

    My daughter went round to her friends house who I know well and he is a good guy but came home stoned tried to tell me she wasn't but I'm not an idiot, I than found out she went to someone else's house. I read her messages and these people are in the 30's and in an open relationship and have been sending her nude photos. I hate to think what she was doing at there house.
    Not sure if I made the right decision but I text them from her phone telling them to stay away from her as she's 15 and I will have them arrested. She will hate me for this but I need to be her mother not her friend did I go to far. My husband is away for work and not sure what to do next, I'm so scared, and worried.

    Kitten 1999
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  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    OMG, you did less than I would have. My daughter, when she was fifteen as well, got some drugs from a 30-something parolee and I did turn him in and I didn't care WHAT my daughter said, thought or did. Actually, she was quiet, but I didn't take her reaction to it into consideration. Maybe you can stop them from involving other minors in their sick games.

    Hugs to you.

    As for your daughter, can you find her a rehab? This is a good age to start to help her. You only have three years left legally. I would do anything I could to stop her from going this route.

    More hugs!!!!
  3. Kitten1999

    Kitten1999 Member

    Thanks I really needed someone to answer straight away I feel so alone and don't know what to do.
    It's the middle of the night here but I might go to police station in the morning and report her.
    This may put a gap between my daughter and I forever but it's a sacrifice I have to make and hope she will one day understand

    Kitten 1999
  4. Childofmine

    Childofmine trying to do this thing one day at a time Staff Member

    I am sorry for your pain. If you now know about this much of your daughters activity, there is a lot you don't know. There always is and they got to great lengths to make sure their parents are the last to know.

    So...that said...I would mount a full court press. Get help from your school and church and find out what other services may be available in your community. This is going to take a lot of energy from you but if you can intervene now, this could be a teen phase and no more. I would get help from her pediatrician and start going to therapy. Use all resources available. You have three more years to make a difference. At the same time learn all you can about how to deal with troubled teens and start putting what you learn into action.

    Warm hugs. My difficult child is now 25 and I wish I had done more early on. It might not have made a difference but it might have too. I had no idea what was really going on for a very long time.
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  5. Kitten1999

    Kitten1999 Member

    I wish I new the solution but I will try everything humanly possible to pull her out the other side but I'm terrified that no matter what I do it won't make any difference but I am certainly going to try. I just want to take her away to an isolated place for a few years till it all blows over but I know this isn't possible. I have shed so many tears over her when will it all stop

    Kitten 1999
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    It won't put a gap between you forever, unless she NEVER quits using drugs. If she doesn't, this incident will be forgotten by bigger ones. But you still have time and I hope you can help her now.

    I made my daughter leave at age 19 and the last thing she screamed at me was, "I WILL HATE YOU FOREVER!" It rang in my head and I swear I cried for three weeks. But that thawed. Now she is clean and sober ten years and has a baby with her boyfriend of ten years and I'm going to see that baby for the fourth time in two months (they live in the next state over). We are close and very loving.

    What your daughter says/does while she is using will change when/if she quits. If she does not quit, it will not matter anyway. First thing I'd do is try to get her help, but I'd definitely want those adults who are perping on minors OFF THE STREETS! When I did it, I felt it was my moral obligation. by the way, he was our next door neighbor. Nice, huh? We used to have barbecues with them and babysit their little kids. When I found out it was the father, I was shocked to say the least.
  7. Kitten1999

    Kitten1999 Member

    I know what you saying is true but I'm just terrified of what's next. I guess now I'm thinking I might have need better of not knowing that's what I get for snooping on her phone

    Kitten 1999
  8. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    You can help get these sexual predators off the streets. Report them before they harm other underage children.
  9. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    Age 15? Most definitely report it to the police!! You are your daughter's mother, not her friend. She can get mad all she wants but she is a minor and you are responsible for her and her well-being.
  10. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I agree with what everyone has said Kitten. It's a tough situation and right now you are alone in it. But you are in the right. This is a bad situation that needs the light of day to be brought in to it, your child has been in some way corrupted by adults with an intention that is illegal and immoral. You need to do whatever you need to do to protect your child.
  11. Kitten1999

    Kitten1999 Member

    I totally agree with all of these comments the only thing that is ringing in my brain is through these texts it appears that she has been pretending she is 18 and she defiantly looks a lot older than she is.
    Since I text them last night and told them to stay away she is 15 I haven't heard a word from them. I don't think they knew.

    Kitten 1999
  12. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    They could have asked to see her ID. I doubt they cared either way. Doesn't sound like they have any morality at all. I'd turn them in. They certainly would not contact you. They are probably terrified.

    Turn them in.
  13. Kitten1999

    Kitten1999 Member

    I know your right

    Kitten 1999
  14. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    Yep keep the phone and take it to the police! Let them deal with these two adults who are sending sexual pictures to your daughter.