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School Behavior vs Home Behavior
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<blockquote data-quote="Bunny" data-source="post: 612949" data-attributes="member: 15810"><p>I'm a little late to the party, but I wanted to jump in because my son is the exact same way. I once had a teacher tell me she wishes she could have a whole classroom full of him. I looked at her and asked, "difficult child? Are you talking about MY difficult child?" She asked me what was wrong with difficult child and I replied with, "Where do I start?" I was speaking to one of his teachers about two years ago because he was having trouble in that class and I was asking the teacher what I could do on my end to help. I went on to tell him that I tend to tread carefully when it comes to difficult child because that nice, quiet, always prepared, never speaks in class without raising his hand young man that sits on his classroom is the same young man who threatened to beat the cr@p out of me with a hockey stick. There was just stunned silence on the other end of the phone. </p><p></p><p>I know what has helped me, other than medications, is to make him aware of what if going to be going on. And I will remind him a hundred times over the week. He tends to sort of map out how he thinks things are going to go once he gets home and he absolutely flips out when everyone's reality does not match up to his personal mental map. "Z has lacrosse practices tonight. I'm leaving with him at 6:40 tonight." "difficult child, remember you have an appointment with the therapist tonight. I am not cooking dinner, so it's a leftover night." Does it always help? No. Just last week he had a screaming meltdown because he had an appointment with the therapist and I wasn't cooking, despite being reminded of that fact before he left for school. </p><p></p><p>I think that they hold themselves together at school, and at times that is really hard for them, so by the time they comes home from school they are just done. They have very little self control left, and because they know that mom will love them unconditionally, it's "safe" to melt down in mom's doorway. It's not "safe" to melt in front of a teacher and the other kids in school.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Bunny, post: 612949, member: 15810"] I'm a little late to the party, but I wanted to jump in because my son is the exact same way. I once had a teacher tell me she wishes she could have a whole classroom full of him. I looked at her and asked, "difficult child? Are you talking about MY difficult child?" She asked me what was wrong with difficult child and I replied with, "Where do I start?" I was speaking to one of his teachers about two years ago because he was having trouble in that class and I was asking the teacher what I could do on my end to help. I went on to tell him that I tend to tread carefully when it comes to difficult child because that nice, quiet, always prepared, never speaks in class without raising his hand young man that sits on his classroom is the same young man who threatened to beat the cr@p out of me with a hockey stick. There was just stunned silence on the other end of the phone. I know what has helped me, other than medications, is to make him aware of what if going to be going on. And I will remind him a hundred times over the week. He tends to sort of map out how he thinks things are going to go once he gets home and he absolutely flips out when everyone's reality does not match up to his personal mental map. "Z has lacrosse practices tonight. I'm leaving with him at 6:40 tonight." "difficult child, remember you have an appointment with the therapist tonight. I am not cooking dinner, so it's a leftover night." Does it always help? No. Just last week he had a screaming meltdown because he had an appointment with the therapist and I wasn't cooking, despite being reminded of that fact before he left for school. I think that they hold themselves together at school, and at times that is really hard for them, so by the time they comes home from school they are just done. They have very little self control left, and because they know that mom will love them unconditionally, it's "safe" to melt down in mom's doorway. It's not "safe" to melt in front of a teacher and the other kids in school. [/QUOTE]
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