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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 424011" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Jena - what good would pressing charges do? I think you're blaming the wrong person here. The mom may be enabling, but easy child is making the choices. If you force the mom to kick easy child out, I guarantee you easy child will find someone else to take her in. </p><p></p><p>Went thru this with- thank you. While TLP was calling me at midnight to tell me he was AWOL (got to be a nightly occurrence there towards the end of his stay at TLP) and filing missing person reports on him with- the police, he was spending days and nights on end at his girlfriend's house, not doing a darn thing, with the mom's blessing. The mom was a *complete* fruit loop. I mean, I felt the same way you do - what kind of a parent would allow a teen who is supposed to be in school (to say nothing of a teen who has been placed in a therapeutic group home, for heaven's sake) to hang out 24/7 with- their underage daughter???? And then I had the pleasure of talking with- the woman. And she lectured *me* about how awful we were for sending thank you to Residential Treatment Center (RTC), she could never "abandon" her kid, education is so important, medication is bad, therapy is a crock, and on and on and on. Gag me. I avoided talking to her after that - you can't reason with- some people. She really was just completely out of her mind - logic and reason and right and wrong were complete strangers to her way of thinking. I will admit to feeling more than a smidge of satisfaction when she started calling to complain about how lazy thank you was, how he never did anything, how he wouldn't go see psychiatrist/get GED/whatever. I just kept reminding her that he was 18, an adult, and ... not my problem. What I really wanted to say was "guess you should've kicked his posterior out when I asked you to so he would have at least graduated." But realistically, he had decided not to graduate, and if it hadn't been this woman, it would've been someone else who enabled him. It was *his* choice, not her enabling, that turned him into a dropout with- zero skills.</p><p></p><p>There is *always* going to be someone who will want to rescue easy child, or at least give her a piece of floor to sleep on and food to eat. And if that's how she chooses to live her life, you can't do anything about it. I understand that urge to rescue her, to get her back on track. I know that it's darn near impossible to resist the temptation to bring her back home and fix things. I still go thru periods of wanting to do that with- thank you, thinking somehow things will be different. But they won't.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 424011, member: 8"] Jena - what good would pressing charges do? I think you're blaming the wrong person here. The mom may be enabling, but easy child is making the choices. If you force the mom to kick easy child out, I guarantee you easy child will find someone else to take her in. Went thru this with- thank you. While TLP was calling me at midnight to tell me he was AWOL (got to be a nightly occurrence there towards the end of his stay at TLP) and filing missing person reports on him with- the police, he was spending days and nights on end at his girlfriend's house, not doing a darn thing, with the mom's blessing. The mom was a *complete* fruit loop. I mean, I felt the same way you do - what kind of a parent would allow a teen who is supposed to be in school (to say nothing of a teen who has been placed in a therapeutic group home, for heaven's sake) to hang out 24/7 with- their underage daughter???? And then I had the pleasure of talking with- the woman. And she lectured *me* about how awful we were for sending thank you to Residential Treatment Center (RTC), she could never "abandon" her kid, education is so important, medication is bad, therapy is a crock, and on and on and on. Gag me. I avoided talking to her after that - you can't reason with- some people. She really was just completely out of her mind - logic and reason and right and wrong were complete strangers to her way of thinking. I will admit to feeling more than a smidge of satisfaction when she started calling to complain about how lazy thank you was, how he never did anything, how he wouldn't go see psychiatrist/get GED/whatever. I just kept reminding her that he was 18, an adult, and ... not my problem. What I really wanted to say was "guess you should've kicked his posterior out when I asked you to so he would have at least graduated." But realistically, he had decided not to graduate, and if it hadn't been this woman, it would've been someone else who enabled him. It was *his* choice, not her enabling, that turned him into a dropout with- zero skills. There is *always* going to be someone who will want to rescue easy child, or at least give her a piece of floor to sleep on and food to eat. And if that's how she chooses to live her life, you can't do anything about it. I understand that urge to rescue her, to get her back on track. I know that it's darn near impossible to resist the temptation to bring her back home and fix things. I still go thru periods of wanting to do that with- thank you, thinking somehow things will be different. But they won't. [/QUOTE]
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