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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 424117"><p>I am sorry you are going through all this. To be honest I could see some situations where I might take in a 17 year old kid.... especially if I cared about them and though they had a horrible home life. When I was that age I had a male friend who did come from a bad situation and he practically lived at our house... not comletely but almost. If you haven't talked to this other mom then she does not know your side of the story, she only knows what she is being told.</p><p></p><p>When we kicked my son out of the house he went to live with a friend... whose family did not have a great reputation (they were the local flophouse). However one day we took something over to our son and we medication the dad... and started talking. He realized the story he was hearing wasn't entirely the true one. So we kept in touch and it was a comfort to me because at least I knew my son was safe. Having a good relationship with those parents, even though our values and life styles were very very very different was a good thing. My son is back staying at their house now and I have resisted calling the dad because my son is older (19) and it really is time for him to make it on his own and figure things out. But if I got really scared or worried I would callt he dad in a heartbeat.</p><p></p><p>So my suggestion is to get to a calm place and then call the other mom and just ask if you can meet for coffee and talk. Don't confront her, or get mad, but just check in about your daughter and how she is doing. Share with her that you are getting calls from the school that she is not intending. It is a way to share information.</p><p></p><p>I also disagree with not responding to texts ro calls from your daughter. I think it is good to keep the door open. That doesn't mean you have to take abuse or give in to demands... those things happen then hang up.</p><p></p><p>Think about what your goals are in regards to your daughter. I am keeping in mind my two goals regarding my son. </p><p>!. Don't enable his drug use. 2. Continue to let him know I love him and want to give him emotional support as he figures his life out. Now that I have figured out those are my goals I can look at any decision i make regarding him with those in mind. </p><p></p><p>This is so very hard.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 424117"] I am sorry you are going through all this. To be honest I could see some situations where I might take in a 17 year old kid.... especially if I cared about them and though they had a horrible home life. When I was that age I had a male friend who did come from a bad situation and he practically lived at our house... not comletely but almost. If you haven't talked to this other mom then she does not know your side of the story, she only knows what she is being told. When we kicked my son out of the house he went to live with a friend... whose family did not have a great reputation (they were the local flophouse). However one day we took something over to our son and we medication the dad... and started talking. He realized the story he was hearing wasn't entirely the true one. So we kept in touch and it was a comfort to me because at least I knew my son was safe. Having a good relationship with those parents, even though our values and life styles were very very very different was a good thing. My son is back staying at their house now and I have resisted calling the dad because my son is older (19) and it really is time for him to make it on his own and figure things out. But if I got really scared or worried I would callt he dad in a heartbeat. So my suggestion is to get to a calm place and then call the other mom and just ask if you can meet for coffee and talk. Don't confront her, or get mad, but just check in about your daughter and how she is doing. Share with her that you are getting calls from the school that she is not intending. It is a way to share information. I also disagree with not responding to texts ro calls from your daughter. I think it is good to keep the door open. That doesn't mean you have to take abuse or give in to demands... those things happen then hang up. Think about what your goals are in regards to your daughter. I am keeping in mind my two goals regarding my son. !. Don't enable his drug use. 2. Continue to let him know I love him and want to give him emotional support as he figures his life out. Now that I have figured out those are my goals I can look at any decision i make regarding him with those in mind. This is so very hard. [/QUOTE]
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