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School is a constant source of negativity
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 394029" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>difficult child 3 is also a very social kid. That, plus we were repeatedly told that home schooling is a social desert and therefore absolutely last resort and should never be considered for kids who need to learn social skills, and it was with great trepidation tat we went down that path. But we did because it was our only option remaining.</p><p></p><p>But what we found - there were MORE social opportunities at home, plus they were under my control and also far more balanced and "normal". I could make more opportunities or less, depending on difficult child 3's needs. It also removed him from the negative stuff that was happening at school and helped him rediscover his self-esteem.</p><p></p><p>The first, easiest and best social opportunity - I brought him along with me to anything I had to do away from home. Doctors' appointments; shopping; meetings - difficult child 3 came along too and I gave him a task to do. Sometimes he had schoolwork to do, sometimes (especially with shopping) I gave him part of the list and some money and sent him off to buy some stuff. At first I hovered in the background but he loved the fact I trusted him to do it and he felt so important. He interacted with the shop staff, and over time learned to do it appropriately! Or he would wait outside the store for me and often talk to others who were waiting, usually old age pensioners who delighted in having a young person to chat to. </p><p></p><p>Next - if you feel it's necessary, you can make social opportunities for him. Play dates are much easier when all the homework has been done during the day, so he is finishing his school day completely, as his neighbourhood friends are getting home from school. He is ready to go play with a clear conscience. Both my boys have also at times helped their friends with their homework, which I always thought was funny because I could never get them to do their homework when they were in mainstream.</p><p></p><p>Other social opportunities - after school clubs, including sport or other interests. difficult child 3 goes to a drama class (for kids with a range of learning problems) once a week. difficult child 1 used to volunteer at the local zoo and initially he avoided members of the public, working away shovelling out animal pens and filling feed troughs. But as he got more confident about talking to people, he would talk to them about the animal he was working with, tell them facts about it, and he enjoyed interacting in general.</p><p></p><p>We found that home schooling was BETTER for social opportunities, not worse. Of course your child is not sitting in a room with a lot of other kids all day every day, but a lot of that time the kids can't interact that much anyway.</p><p></p><p>Not that I'm saying you should do this. Only don't let your concerns about socialisation get in the way, because it is far less of an issue than we are led to believe.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 394029, member: 1991"] difficult child 3 is also a very social kid. That, plus we were repeatedly told that home schooling is a social desert and therefore absolutely last resort and should never be considered for kids who need to learn social skills, and it was with great trepidation tat we went down that path. But we did because it was our only option remaining. But what we found - there were MORE social opportunities at home, plus they were under my control and also far more balanced and "normal". I could make more opportunities or less, depending on difficult child 3's needs. It also removed him from the negative stuff that was happening at school and helped him rediscover his self-esteem. The first, easiest and best social opportunity - I brought him along with me to anything I had to do away from home. Doctors' appointments; shopping; meetings - difficult child 3 came along too and I gave him a task to do. Sometimes he had schoolwork to do, sometimes (especially with shopping) I gave him part of the list and some money and sent him off to buy some stuff. At first I hovered in the background but he loved the fact I trusted him to do it and he felt so important. He interacted with the shop staff, and over time learned to do it appropriately! Or he would wait outside the store for me and often talk to others who were waiting, usually old age pensioners who delighted in having a young person to chat to. Next - if you feel it's necessary, you can make social opportunities for him. Play dates are much easier when all the homework has been done during the day, so he is finishing his school day completely, as his neighbourhood friends are getting home from school. He is ready to go play with a clear conscience. Both my boys have also at times helped their friends with their homework, which I always thought was funny because I could never get them to do their homework when they were in mainstream. Other social opportunities - after school clubs, including sport or other interests. difficult child 3 goes to a drama class (for kids with a range of learning problems) once a week. difficult child 1 used to volunteer at the local zoo and initially he avoided members of the public, working away shovelling out animal pens and filling feed troughs. But as he got more confident about talking to people, he would talk to them about the animal he was working with, tell them facts about it, and he enjoyed interacting in general. We found that home schooling was BETTER for social opportunities, not worse. Of course your child is not sitting in a room with a lot of other kids all day every day, but a lot of that time the kids can't interact that much anyway. Not that I'm saying you should do this. Only don't let your concerns about socialisation get in the way, because it is far less of an issue than we are led to believe. Marg [/QUOTE]
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