School Issues already

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Singlemommyof3, Sep 14, 2007.

  1. Singlemommyof3

    Singlemommyof3 New Member

    Well, My son is 5 years old and he started kindergarted last week. I got a call from his teacher yesterday saying that was hitting kids, blowing in their hair and when asked to stop refused. He was caught lying and pulling a girls hair. The same day I got the call he pushed his bestfriend down at daycare after school. He was diagnosed with ODD last year and I had him in counseling for it. He discontinued the services because I was unable to get the time off work and I don't have anyone who will help me. His dad and I are divorced and his dad lives in a different state which is extrememly difficult. I have a boyfriend who lives with me. We have a baby together, but I have decided to put my happiness aside and chose not to have a relationship at this time. Its been hard and difficult and I don't know what to do anymore. My son is a great kid and I love him so much. I guess I'm not sure what how to address the issue at school. I have talked with his teacher and explained his disorder and they are going to work with me on this issue. I am rearranging my life to accomadate his disorder and its depressing me as well. I cry, I yell, I scream, its very difficult. I need support and feedback on how to deal with this issue.
     
  2. Jules71

    Jules71 Warrior Mom since 2007

    Welcome! You've come to the right place. You will get a lot of support here from people who truly know what it's like to be in our shoes. It is hard and you need to help yourself too. Hang in there. There will be others along soon to welcome you and offer advice and support.
     
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Welcome and hi! I have a few pesty questions that may help us.
    Who diagnosed your son? What kind of professional? Has he seen a Child Psychiatrist (with the MD) or a neuropsychologist?
    ODD rarely stands alone. Are there any psychiatric issues or substance abuse on the family tree? Neurological disorders?
    How are his social skills, eye contact, any speech or motor delays?
    Can you please do a signature, like I did below?
    Don't waste time feeling bad. YOU didn't cause this and YOU can't cure him. He needs help beyond you, and he can get it. First off, I'd start with a fresh evaluation to give you a bigger picture of his problem. ODD co-exists with many things.
     
  4. Singlemommyof3

    Singlemommyof3 New Member

    Well lets see. He was diagnosed by a counselor. No neurosphych. He has worn glasses since he was 9 months old and he is almost blind in one eye. His social skills are ok. He gets mad easily at kids if things don't go his way. For example, him and my ex boyfriends son will be sitting there quietly playing. All of a sudden my son will hit him for no reason. When asked why he hit him its always "I don't know". He talks really well and his motor skills are incredible. He learned to ride his bike without trainings wheels before he turned 3. He did have a surgery at 3 wks old, he had tubes put in his ears at 18 months and has worn glasses forever. I'm a recovering alcoholic (2 yrs clean) and I was diagnoised with Bipolor II and severe depression. His dad has a history of drug use in his past way before our time together. HIs dad was diagnosed with ADHD, but refused medicine as a child and never really got the help he needed. Right now I'm off of all my medications because I no longer wanted to take them. Without doctors approval. I'm thinking that wasn't a good idea. I was on 40 mg of celexa.
     
  5. SnowAngel

    SnowAngel New Member

    I have bipolar,anxiety and severe depression. Single mother of 6. As a single mom you are faced with everything all by yourself. You should see about getting you help. I to stopped my medication thinking I was better off of it and they make me so tired. I realized I would be able to react differently to my sons outbursts if I was back on my medications. With each anger outburst I became more depressed because I couldnt fix the situation.

    Ask the school principal about their discipline policies. Talk to the principal about your concerns and point of view. Let them know you are seeking help.

    My son kept being put in in-school detention. Bad idea for someone who cant sit still. He would get another day for not sitting still. They need to adjust the discipline according to the child. Our school has worked with us on doing just that.

    Also I have them e-mail me instead of calling me. Then when I have a counseling or psychiatric appointment I print them out and take them with. It helps the dr to see the behaviors and adjust the medications as needed.

    Take time for you. Take a bubble bath,listen to music and dance or if you have time watch a movie and eat some popcorn. I always forget myself. Its amazing how I feel once I shave my legs and paint my toe nails. Keep asking questions here as you are not alone. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
     
  6. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    Get a diagnosis from a pyschiatrist, neuro psychiatric. See about getting an IEP at school. Educate yourself prior to an IEP meeting. You can get accomodations to help your son at school.
     
  7. frustratedmom73

    frustratedmom73 New Member

    I agree with what all of you have said. I am having similar issues with my difficult child... we are 3 weeks into school, just changed medications to Concerta and got call from principal yesteday that she hit another kids after he told her to " calm down". She will be suspended if it happens again, she is in the 3rd grade..and then we arre looking at expulsion after that.. cant deal... I have a spouse who is helping me but my 5 yr old is learning the behavior and it is so hard!! At the end of my rope and the therapists just dont seem to be helping.. we have tried everything the recommended but nothing is helping. We are stressed!! My husband is on anxiety and depression medications and could not get by without them.. he would recommend you go back on them, and see someone yourself.. to talk to and vent... that makes me feel better even for only a few minutes! Good luck
     
  8. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    We were given an option of special education or expulsion. He was in his regular classroom first year, and a classroom with an aide to help him when he felt out of control. He is able to leave, regroup and return. This year he is in Honors classes. No Aide, but has the option to use accommodations we have on his IEP. We have been asked to pick him up. And I have taken him home when I felt things were out of control. But he has not been in out of school suspension or the threat of expulsion once we had an IEP in place.

    With special education and an IEP, she will be protected under the special education laws.
     
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