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School issues, what would you do?
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<blockquote data-quote="keista" data-source="post: 432602" data-attributes="member: 11965"><p>I'm so sorry this is happening to your son and your family. I've had similar situations, but was lucky enough to be able to diffuse them before they escalated t what you describe.</p><p></p><p>I was once called in to the Principal to discuss son's meltdown on the bus. He had had enough of the general getting picked on, and melted down, tore up a whole notebook and scattered it all over the bus. Of course, this was unnaceptable behavior, BUT I had filed several complaints about him getting bullied, and what had they done? NOTHING. Son knows what he did was wrong, but no one was helping, and I was NOT going to support any school discipline in this matter at home. As a matter of fact, if the bullying continued, I WOULD support my son defending himself by any means necessary - of course I did not want it to get to that, so what can we as adults do to fix this? We did figure out that the bullying only occurred when there was no aide on the bus (every bus had an aide for the bus driver, but when they were absent or another more important duty came up, they were removed) So the solution here was to make sure son's bus ALWAYS had an aide.</p><p></p><p>Yes, I was lucky, and there were controls in place already that just needed to be more consistent. The point and my advice is before you start the new school, find out the DETAILS of the bullying policies, discuss them and your son's shortfalls in this area with the principal, vice prin, etc. Get your IEP meeting as soon as possible, and discuss this problem there as well and see what supports can be put in place. With any luck the new school will be a "low bullying" school.</p><p></p><p>And yes, take the current fight as far as your energy and time allow. It does set a good example for your son and will give him that sense of "I'm worth it" BUT, don't kill yourself doing it, if energy really needs to be spent elsewhere. Personally, I've always been lousy at dealing with such conflicts for myself, and find it a bit easier when I'm advocating for my child, but still do get stuck on how to proceed. My kids know I have difficulties as well, but that I do the very best I can for them even if it's not everything that can be done.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="keista, post: 432602, member: 11965"] I'm so sorry this is happening to your son and your family. I've had similar situations, but was lucky enough to be able to diffuse them before they escalated t what you describe. I was once called in to the Principal to discuss son's meltdown on the bus. He had had enough of the general getting picked on, and melted down, tore up a whole notebook and scattered it all over the bus. Of course, this was unnaceptable behavior, BUT I had filed several complaints about him getting bullied, and what had they done? NOTHING. Son knows what he did was wrong, but no one was helping, and I was NOT going to support any school discipline in this matter at home. As a matter of fact, if the bullying continued, I WOULD support my son defending himself by any means necessary - of course I did not want it to get to that, so what can we as adults do to fix this? We did figure out that the bullying only occurred when there was no aide on the bus (every bus had an aide for the bus driver, but when they were absent or another more important duty came up, they were removed) So the solution here was to make sure son's bus ALWAYS had an aide. Yes, I was lucky, and there were controls in place already that just needed to be more consistent. The point and my advice is before you start the new school, find out the DETAILS of the bullying policies, discuss them and your son's shortfalls in this area with the principal, vice prin, etc. Get your IEP meeting as soon as possible, and discuss this problem there as well and see what supports can be put in place. With any luck the new school will be a "low bullying" school. And yes, take the current fight as far as your energy and time allow. It does set a good example for your son and will give him that sense of "I'm worth it" BUT, don't kill yourself doing it, if energy really needs to be spent elsewhere. Personally, I've always been lousy at dealing with such conflicts for myself, and find it a bit easier when I'm advocating for my child, but still do get stuck on how to proceed. My kids know I have difficulties as well, but that I do the very best I can for them even if it's not everything that can be done. [/QUOTE]
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