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School - one step forward, two steps back...
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 205876" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Shari, I hope you don't see my post for a while because you're already down at the school waiting to see the director.</p><p></p><p>If not, if you're still working on the wording - then here goes.</p><p></p><p>Take the photos. I was smacking myself on the forehead for forgetting that one. We've done that a few times. Especially in this case because the idiot aide refused to accept tat there were bite marks. Mind you, she will probably say that bite marks in the photo were put there by difficult child. Kids can do this - I remember an incident I had with the pretty girl in my class in Grade 4, she told the relief teacher that I had bitten her on the arm in the washroom (I wouldn't go in the washroom if she was in there - she was not to be trusted). I know I didn't bite her, my friends had been with me and also tried to support me, but I ended up on detention for it (her aim - she needed me out of the way for that particular lunch time). The girl was very calm when she told the teacher with those classic sly glances in the direction of the person she's targetting (as mean kids will do). The story went round the kids that she had bitten her own arm (it was the forearm - easy to do yourself). A self-bite, though, will tend to fade in minutes. You have to be quick. So if you take photos, make sure you date them and maybe have something obvious (like today's newspaper) in the photo to indicate you haven't just fiddled the date on the photo. If the bite mark is still showing two days later (as a bruise) then it was a bad bite and certainly not a self-inflicted one.</p><p></p><p>Next step - ring the school and/or just turn up. With your letter. Hand deliver the letter, make sure you have a copy in your bag. Then sit and wait. This is important. Do not leave the premises unless escorted off by police. Take a thermos and your knitting. Make it clear that you are not leaving until this is sorted.</p><p></p><p>I mean, for Pete's sake - YOU WERE IN A MEETING DISCUSSING THIS - AND MORE HAPPENED!!??!? DURING THE MEETING!??</p><p></p><p>What the hey? What kind of school is this, that has allowed this kind of behaviour to continue (and how could they not know?)</p><p></p><p>The trick with the thermos and the knitting - I did this when trying to get a housing loan at a time when the bank was mucking around with our file. We had a loan for the land, we were ready to build but needed a loan for the project. An idiot bank manager advised us to pay out the land loan in full - which we did. Then we applied for the building loan, to be told that they could have extended an existing loan, but they weren't opening new files for a few months. I spat the dummy in the manner I just described. I was polite, I was calm, but I was firm - I had come prepared to sit and wait until I got a reply to the letter I had just hand-delivered.</p><p></p><p>That is an important point - you need a reply in writing. You can be persuaded to leave with a verbal comittment but warn them that you want this confirmed in writing.</p><p></p><p>Chances are, they will still try to avoid giving you a response in writing. No worries - here's how you ensure it anyway:</p><p></p><p>YOU reply in writing, to them, outlining what was verbally agreed on and describing the contents of the meeting. I ALWAYS take minutes in meetings now. Where possible I will even record a meeting (illegally) using my laptop. I will not produce the recording, because technically it never happened. But I will use it to make sure I have got what was said, in detail and perfectly accurately.</p><p></p><p>I then draft a letter as follows:</p><p>"Dear ..., thank you for talking to me today about my concerns of... I found our meeting quite productive and I am glad that we have agreed to ....[list outcomes of meeting and what they agreed to do]. In turn, I have agreed to do the following [list your part in what to do]. If I have misunderstood or any of this is not a true record of what we discussed, please send corrections in writing for my files. If I do not receive any correction from you in writing then my files will indicate that this letter is a true and accurate record of our agreement."</p><p></p><p>You t hen send this letter registered mail, or alternatively you hand-deliver it and take your own copy, getting your copy signed by them and by you as having been received and sighted. "This is a copy of letter which is acknowledge to have been received by the undersigned..." written on your copy. On their copy, it should indicate that a copy has been signed to indicate that this letter has been received.</p><p></p><p>If you have a solicitor at this stage, good. But if you haven't - this method should still have them reaching for the Lomotil.</p><p></p><p>Good luck, go get 'em.</p><p></p><p>I do like the line, "I could take him up the road to the state school where they abuse kids for free..."</p><p></p><p>Can I use it? Not that I think we will ever need it personally any more...</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 205876, member: 1991"] Shari, I hope you don't see my post for a while because you're already down at the school waiting to see the director. If not, if you're still working on the wording - then here goes. Take the photos. I was smacking myself on the forehead for forgetting that one. We've done that a few times. Especially in this case because the idiot aide refused to accept tat there were bite marks. Mind you, she will probably say that bite marks in the photo were put there by difficult child. Kids can do this - I remember an incident I had with the pretty girl in my class in Grade 4, she told the relief teacher that I had bitten her on the arm in the washroom (I wouldn't go in the washroom if she was in there - she was not to be trusted). I know I didn't bite her, my friends had been with me and also tried to support me, but I ended up on detention for it (her aim - she needed me out of the way for that particular lunch time). The girl was very calm when she told the teacher with those classic sly glances in the direction of the person she's targetting (as mean kids will do). The story went round the kids that she had bitten her own arm (it was the forearm - easy to do yourself). A self-bite, though, will tend to fade in minutes. You have to be quick. So if you take photos, make sure you date them and maybe have something obvious (like today's newspaper) in the photo to indicate you haven't just fiddled the date on the photo. If the bite mark is still showing two days later (as a bruise) then it was a bad bite and certainly not a self-inflicted one. Next step - ring the school and/or just turn up. With your letter. Hand deliver the letter, make sure you have a copy in your bag. Then sit and wait. This is important. Do not leave the premises unless escorted off by police. Take a thermos and your knitting. Make it clear that you are not leaving until this is sorted. I mean, for Pete's sake - YOU WERE IN A MEETING DISCUSSING THIS - AND MORE HAPPENED!!??!? DURING THE MEETING!?? What the hey? What kind of school is this, that has allowed this kind of behaviour to continue (and how could they not know?) The trick with the thermos and the knitting - I did this when trying to get a housing loan at a time when the bank was mucking around with our file. We had a loan for the land, we were ready to build but needed a loan for the project. An idiot bank manager advised us to pay out the land loan in full - which we did. Then we applied for the building loan, to be told that they could have extended an existing loan, but they weren't opening new files for a few months. I spat the dummy in the manner I just described. I was polite, I was calm, but I was firm - I had come prepared to sit and wait until I got a reply to the letter I had just hand-delivered. That is an important point - you need a reply in writing. You can be persuaded to leave with a verbal comittment but warn them that you want this confirmed in writing. Chances are, they will still try to avoid giving you a response in writing. No worries - here's how you ensure it anyway: YOU reply in writing, to them, outlining what was verbally agreed on and describing the contents of the meeting. I ALWAYS take minutes in meetings now. Where possible I will even record a meeting (illegally) using my laptop. I will not produce the recording, because technically it never happened. But I will use it to make sure I have got what was said, in detail and perfectly accurately. I then draft a letter as follows: "Dear ..., thank you for talking to me today about my concerns of... I found our meeting quite productive and I am glad that we have agreed to ....[list outcomes of meeting and what they agreed to do]. In turn, I have agreed to do the following [list your part in what to do]. If I have misunderstood or any of this is not a true record of what we discussed, please send corrections in writing for my files. If I do not receive any correction from you in writing then my files will indicate that this letter is a true and accurate record of our agreement." You t hen send this letter registered mail, or alternatively you hand-deliver it and take your own copy, getting your copy signed by them and by you as having been received and sighted. "This is a copy of letter which is acknowledge to have been received by the undersigned..." written on your copy. On their copy, it should indicate that a copy has been signed to indicate that this letter has been received. If you have a solicitor at this stage, good. But if you haven't - this method should still have them reaching for the Lomotil. Good luck, go get 'em. I do like the line, "I could take him up the road to the state school where they abuse kids for free..." Can I use it? Not that I think we will ever need it personally any more... Marg [/QUOTE]
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