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School phobia??
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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 415774" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>If your son is anything like mine - and I suspect this kind of single-minded, driven determination is part of the territory - he will just dig in and insist on his position. In the school holidays and Wednesdays here in France activity centres are offered, very inexpensively, for parents who work. My little boy was going to the local one in the holidays and Wednesdays and he just hated it (all I have been able to get out of him is that older boys were not being nice to him and that some children said they didn't want to play with him because, they said, he is "naughty"). The point is that it became like a whole campaign on his part, that would start on the Tuesday with repeated crying and statements that he didn't want to go to "Wednesday school", as we called it, would continue with great intensity from the moment he woke up on the Wednesday, often refusing to go out of the door, me having to carry him, crying on and off in the car all the way there and then when we did actually get to the centre, he would cling onto me, screaming and in apparently real distress, refusing to let go, and each time I would have to physically tear him off me and leave feeling monstrous (obviously his unconscious or maybe even conscious aim)... Anyway, despite all the talking we did about it, his aversion just never lessened and the situation became more and more impossible. I began realising how unbearable things would be if he ever decided he didn't want to go to school...</p><p>In the end, I decided I needed to listen to him. If he hated it that much and it was causing him (and me) so much stress and trauma, what was the point of insisting just for the sake of winning some battle - began to seem just cruel. So now on Wednesdays he goes to a childminder (I am largely reimbursed by the state - social assistance in France being so fantastic) whom he really likes with a small group of children that he plays very well with. And in the last school holiday he want to another activity centre, smaller and with more male assistants, where he was enormously happy and apparently was well liked and fitted in well.</p><p>All of this to say... my personal take is to agree with rlsnights. Is there any way you can get him into another school where he will be happier and can make a fresh start? In a different setting with a different mix of elements, his "failure" and resistance could possibly be transformed.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 415774, member: 11227"] If your son is anything like mine - and I suspect this kind of single-minded, driven determination is part of the territory - he will just dig in and insist on his position. In the school holidays and Wednesdays here in France activity centres are offered, very inexpensively, for parents who work. My little boy was going to the local one in the holidays and Wednesdays and he just hated it (all I have been able to get out of him is that older boys were not being nice to him and that some children said they didn't want to play with him because, they said, he is "naughty"). The point is that it became like a whole campaign on his part, that would start on the Tuesday with repeated crying and statements that he didn't want to go to "Wednesday school", as we called it, would continue with great intensity from the moment he woke up on the Wednesday, often refusing to go out of the door, me having to carry him, crying on and off in the car all the way there and then when we did actually get to the centre, he would cling onto me, screaming and in apparently real distress, refusing to let go, and each time I would have to physically tear him off me and leave feeling monstrous (obviously his unconscious or maybe even conscious aim)... Anyway, despite all the talking we did about it, his aversion just never lessened and the situation became more and more impossible. I began realising how unbearable things would be if he ever decided he didn't want to go to school... In the end, I decided I needed to listen to him. If he hated it that much and it was causing him (and me) so much stress and trauma, what was the point of insisting just for the sake of winning some battle - began to seem just cruel. So now on Wednesdays he goes to a childminder (I am largely reimbursed by the state - social assistance in France being so fantastic) whom he really likes with a small group of children that he plays very well with. And in the last school holiday he want to another activity centre, smaller and with more male assistants, where he was enormously happy and apparently was well liked and fitted in well. All of this to say... my personal take is to agree with rlsnights. Is there any way you can get him into another school where he will be happier and can make a fresh start? In a different setting with a different mix of elements, his "failure" and resistance could possibly be transformed. [/QUOTE]
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