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School Planning For difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="Wonderful Family" data-source="post: 166713"><p>One thing we've learned from therapist and recent hospitalization is to try to plan for difficult situations well in advance, list out the what may happen and try to help difficult child plan. </p><p> </p><p>difficult child will completely shut down and/or go to the wall before he will admit to any major problems - especially if it is in any way public.</p><p> </p><p>School in our area starts up in very early August. Got him through last year spending as much time at private school as I could - great school/difficult difficult child. Long story on the public schools, but they are terrible with learning disabilities (whatever the cause) if they are not obvious. difficult child was failing and falling to pieces in other areas at the same time.</p><p> </p><p>Current plan of action is to start school as normal at private school, if he trys to control classroom; pull him and put him into public schools and let him fail. Private school is a sacrifice for us; but more importantly - other single parents there are working 2 jobs just to pay for it - and their kids want to learn. </p><p> </p><p>If we completely walk away and go with the current plan, and have to jump in at any point, he sees this as rescuing him. </p><p> </p><p>He only really responds if we constantly play hardball (done nicely and fairly for our little difficult child's head). Dare be a little too nice and give in - and he reminds you of it as he is walking out the door. </p><p> </p><p>Issue: Incredibly smart, gifted child, knows the system well and how to work people; if major issues crops up - he shuts down completely in that area while still functioning decently (to others) in different areas. He won't touch these things (even I only know what some of them are). If you dare to touch on them, he'll take you to the wall, and if you are going to push - you had better know what you are doing<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> Major episodes almost always occur around him being unable to control what is happening to him. Up until now, either sheltered too much or too smart to get into major trouble with other people besides us or private school (which I am thankful for).</p><p> </p><p>Difficult to know sometimes where he is working us and where the real problems lie.</p><p> </p><p>Great psychiatrist. good with GP - never saw anyone like our difficult child.</p><p> </p><p>Any suggestions? His fall outs are always messy and extremely ugly; but never seems to learn any other way; but lots of problems that stop him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Wonderful Family, post: 166713"] One thing we've learned from therapist and recent hospitalization is to try to plan for difficult situations well in advance, list out the what may happen and try to help difficult child plan. difficult child will completely shut down and/or go to the wall before he will admit to any major problems - especially if it is in any way public. School in our area starts up in very early August. Got him through last year spending as much time at private school as I could - great school/difficult difficult child. Long story on the public schools, but they are terrible with learning disabilities (whatever the cause) if they are not obvious. difficult child was failing and falling to pieces in other areas at the same time. Current plan of action is to start school as normal at private school, if he trys to control classroom; pull him and put him into public schools and let him fail. Private school is a sacrifice for us; but more importantly - other single parents there are working 2 jobs just to pay for it - and their kids want to learn. If we completely walk away and go with the current plan, and have to jump in at any point, he sees this as rescuing him. He only really responds if we constantly play hardball (done nicely and fairly for our little difficult child's head). Dare be a little too nice and give in - and he reminds you of it as he is walking out the door. Issue: Incredibly smart, gifted child, knows the system well and how to work people; if major issues crops up - he shuts down completely in that area while still functioning decently (to others) in different areas. He won't touch these things (even I only know what some of them are). If you dare to touch on them, he'll take you to the wall, and if you are going to push - you had better know what you are doing:) Major episodes almost always occur around him being unable to control what is happening to him. Up until now, either sheltered too much or too smart to get into major trouble with other people besides us or private school (which I am thankful for). Difficult to know sometimes where he is working us and where the real problems lie. Great psychiatrist. good with GP - never saw anyone like our difficult child. Any suggestions? His fall outs are always messy and extremely ugly; but never seems to learn any other way; but lots of problems that stop him. [/QUOTE]
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