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School Planning For difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="Wonderful Family" data-source="post: 166749"><p>He could surprise us? Nah, reality - difficult child will get angry and more defiant - guaranteed. But it all seems to come down to what he is unable to handle; yet the way he presents and acts is "normal", untreated ADHD for many people.</p><p> </p><p>Here's my son:</p><p> </p><p>Take your medications difficult child - ok; clean your room difficult child - grouch, you can't make it - but still do some of it, babysit little brother, OK-but how much will you pay me. (Hint: difficult child gets a bigger tip based upon how good a time easy child has while we are at dinner, short dinners).</p><p> </p><p>Make him do homework or something else he is unable to/can't/won't do - difficult child tries to burn down the house or starts pounding people instead of saying - help! Yet, he will not accept one bit of help either and fights you to the death over it - until you just give up. </p><p> </p><p>I can see us in 6 months - him looking at us from inside of a psychiatric ward wringing his hands-almost catatonic again, truly not understanding what happened. </p><p> </p><p>But what we know is he spent so much time holding it together at school, nothing else could happen. </p><p> </p><p>School's not the only thing; but it represents a lot of what he struggles with everyday. He's doing "very well" at the moment because we put absolutely no pressure on these issues (there would be no purpose at this point); but as soon as he even senses something, he'll go back into hiding again.</p><p> </p><p>Perhaps I type out pieces of this message and give it to him in a few weeks? I really think he sometimes just doesn't get what "help" means. His distorted head sometimes sees it as an attack. </p><p> </p><p>Last time he was in the hospital, he was absolutely, utterly shocked that the therapist (difficult child said she was mean) could see him in jail in a few years for "real" violence. Hearing the same thing we'd been saying for years stuck for at least a few weeks. </p><p> </p><p>Reality, he fails - heads back to hospital at first major outburst (defined by hospital/docs/us), end of story - no being nice about it. We can't afford to. Does this sound terribly mean or too hardball for a kid like this? Never sure here either. It just makes no sense that a difficult child that will do the things he does over the "untouchables" can also babysit easy child?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Wonderful Family, post: 166749"] He could surprise us? Nah, reality - difficult child will get angry and more defiant - guaranteed. But it all seems to come down to what he is unable to handle; yet the way he presents and acts is "normal", untreated ADHD for many people. Here's my son: Take your medications difficult child - ok; clean your room difficult child - grouch, you can't make it - but still do some of it, babysit little brother, OK-but how much will you pay me. (Hint: difficult child gets a bigger tip based upon how good a time easy child has while we are at dinner, short dinners). Make him do homework or something else he is unable to/can't/won't do - difficult child tries to burn down the house or starts pounding people instead of saying - help! Yet, he will not accept one bit of help either and fights you to the death over it - until you just give up. I can see us in 6 months - him looking at us from inside of a psychiatric ward wringing his hands-almost catatonic again, truly not understanding what happened. But what we know is he spent so much time holding it together at school, nothing else could happen. School's not the only thing; but it represents a lot of what he struggles with everyday. He's doing "very well" at the moment because we put absolutely no pressure on these issues (there would be no purpose at this point); but as soon as he even senses something, he'll go back into hiding again. Perhaps I type out pieces of this message and give it to him in a few weeks? I really think he sometimes just doesn't get what "help" means. His distorted head sometimes sees it as an attack. Last time he was in the hospital, he was absolutely, utterly shocked that the therapist (difficult child said she was mean) could see him in jail in a few years for "real" violence. Hearing the same thing we'd been saying for years stuck for at least a few weeks. Reality, he fails - heads back to hospital at first major outburst (defined by hospital/docs/us), end of story - no being nice about it. We can't afford to. Does this sound terribly mean or too hardball for a kid like this? Never sure here either. It just makes no sense that a difficult child that will do the things he does over the "untouchables" can also babysit easy child? [/QUOTE]
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