School update

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Californiablonde, Sep 23, 2015.

  1. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    School has been in session since September 8th and so far it's been great for easy child but difficult is having a rocky start. Easy child now attends the school I work at, and he is adjusting pretty nicely. He has a nice group of friends he hangs out with and he has several friends in almost all of his classes. I wish it were that easy for difficult child.

    So far, in the last last two and a half weeks, she has been absent about 8 times. She missed the bus on several occasions due to sleeping in, and when my mom then offered to take her to school later, she refused. This week she has been complaining of stomach pains so she has refused to even try to go. She just had another endoscopy plus a colonoscopy last month. Her endoscopy showed her stomach ulcers have healed and are now gone. She is still on medications for the acid reflux, but she no longer has ulcers to contend with.

    Most likely her stomach pain is anxiety related. This year there's a new school psychiatric, and so far she has been unable to see difficult child because she is always absent. I am already at witz end what to do with her. She turns 18 at the end of December, and she is already talking about dropping out. I cannot afford to support her when child support stops. I don't know what else I can do. We have had therapists, social workers, psychologists, and a good neuropsychiatrist working with her for several years now, and she has all but given up.

    At this point it's almost 100 percent certain difficult child will not graduate this year. A good friend and coworker of mine has two kids who are the exact same age as mine. Her older daughter is also a senior this year. She is already talking about graduation plans. I feel like a loser for a mother because I have a child who is failing. I am lost and I have no idea how to help her. I am really hoping and praying for a miracle right now. My anxiety over this is at an all time high, and I don't know how much longer I can take!
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  2. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    You might need to start seeing if she would qualify for any benefits. Possibly due to her mental health she might be eligible. Otherwise I would let her know that she either works or goes to school. If she isn't in school she shouldnt be sitting around mooching off you.
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  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    You're not a loser. Your daughter has a mental illness. She can finish school online in public school and not have to go. Or she can study for her GED. Then she can get a job. Some kids don't go to college, but work. She can help around the house and get professional help outside of school. She does need mental health services as she is so afraid to possibly even leave the house.

    If you want to, after she turns 18 and if she drops out and you don't want to try or she won't do online public schoool or get her GED, you can tell her calmly that she has to go for psychiatric help or she can not live at home. That's up to you. You know what you can handle and you know your child best.

    I don't know if she has enough going on to get benefits but dstc_99 had a good idea to try. She may need help with working...maybe she needs disability for her mental health issues and a job coach can work w ith her at a part time job if she can't handle a full time job. She could also get Medicare and Medicaid if she qualifiers.

    Good luck. I understand school anxiety. I had it. I learned nothing in school, even though I went because I was so scared while I was there.
  4. Confused

    Confused Active Member

    California, Im so sorry she is still having issues with school. You know, I know how you feel like a loser because your daughter wont go to school ( as mine wont) ,mine struggles with getting online done, then my son which we all know how that is. The comparisons from other parents and ourselves with our friends and family, neighbors, heck even movies for me who say" id just use discipline, force them , its the parents fault, but yet we are doing everything we can and we start to believe these people and even ourselves of how much we are losers. But look what we have been fighting for, our kids, we fight for them just as much if not more then any other parents with kids with no issues. They dont get it until they live in our shows. We cant keep beating ourselves up, your not a loser!!!! ( Sorry for the run on sentence). We never thought this would happen to our kids, to us, we had it planed. We still may make a few mistakes but after what we and all the others went and are going through we are doing what we can. We are all still learning, just like your daughter will have to learn who she is and keep trying. I remember some of your others posts and I think in some ways we really think alike on some things, I really am hoping the best for you and your family. Somewhere and dstc are right! Hang in there!!! Hugs
  5. Confused

    Confused Active Member

    Opps meant to add, congrats on your son is adjusting well
  6. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    Hi Cali,

    Don't compare yourself to others. You are doing the best you can with your daughter.

    I'm glad your son is doing so well in school! Yeah for him!

    Confused & Cali,

    You can't let yourself be brought down by others who don't understand your situation. Just keep doing the best you can with what you have been given. It is not fair for people who have not had to deal with these problems to judge and assume they have all the answers.

    Post more often, you guys!