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Scientific thinking... and difficult child 1
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 79765" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Thanks, 1DaaT & Star.</p><p></p><p>It's hard to really define my concerns - but I guess it boils down to this: I want him to be happy, and for him especially, this means being true to himself. I don't think this is what is happening at the moment. I do not want to see him make a thorough commitment in life which at a later stage will bring him unstuck emotionally and spiritually.</p><p></p><p>For those who think the way this magazine does (and the way girlfriend seems to, at the moment) their faith is so inextricably wound up in what I consider to be false and misleading beliefs in stuff that really is irrelevant to matters of faith, I'm concerned that if/when they ever wake up and smell the coffee, they will feel obliged to throw away their faith with these misconceptions. Scientists I've worked with have done this - husband & I spent some time talking to some zoology professors at various departmental events and found their attitude was, "If I can't work in my chosen field of palaeontology and evolution theory without being bombarded and made to feel guilty, then where would any faith fit in my life?" They were surprised when we told them that for us there never had been any conflict - it seems the only Christians they ever heard from were the ones who attacked them for "deliberately and viciously publishing lies".</p><p></p><p>It was only a year ago, maybe less, that difficult child 1 thought he was heading to university to study zoology and animal behaviour. I'm wondering now if he threw away that dream because he was influenced by others. I remember the first time I was attacked by Christians because I was studying Zoology. I was totally taken aback, I'd never encountered this conflict. And as firm as I thought I was in my chosen direction, it shook me. I really did question my own motives and finally realised - the person who had been speaking to me really had no authority (certainly not the authority he claimed) and was acting under his own motivation. And at that time I had the benefit of diverse opinions to share this with. I don't think difficult child 1 has this right now, I think he's totally brainwashed because he's so utterly subsumed into this particular group.</p><p></p><p>At some stage in the future, he may wake up from all this and think he has to throw out the baby with the bathwater. I feel I need to make it clear to him - husband & I DO know what he is going through here, it IS possible to have faith and still believe in evolution (regardless of what he is being told) and he CAN talk to us, we will not try to change his beliefs - only make him test his own beliefs and ideas properly, to be certain they are his and not simply what he is told they should be.</p><p></p><p>When we grow up being told what to believe, at some stage we often go through what I call "the adolescence of faith" where we stop taking what we have been told at face value, and begin to question everything. We sometimes at this point can become turned around 180 degrees from the position we previously held, purely out of rebellion. If you ever survive this and come back to a belief system at all, it is with knowledge and better understanding. Some people never experience this; some do, and never come back. And I have seen it happen in a number of different faiths.</p><p></p><p>I'm still reading my way through this magazine. Interesting. I'm concerned that the only way the authors of this magazine can do what they do, is to distort their definitions of the thing they fear. I don't think this is deliberate, i think they just fear it so much that they refuse to educate themselves about it. Because they fear it, it is therefore bad. Because it is bad, it is untrue. Because it is untrue, it is from Satan, the Father of Lies. Because it is from Satan, they should not inform themselves about it. because they are uninformed, they do not understand and fear it.</p><p>It doesn't matter what the issue is - it is having difficult child 1 surrounded by that logic, which is so alien to everything he has been raised with, that scares me. All tolerance, all intellectual curiosity, all balance is discouraged. The world is a bad place to be feared and therefore we must make ourselves apart from it.</p><p></p><p>I am reading this literature provided by this narrow viewpoint. He will not read my literature. I have written articles on evolutionary theory - he used to be proud of me for this. He used to brag about it to his friends. Now he is silent. In this, I see a part of him being silenced and what THAT is doing to him is what scares me.</p><p></p><p>I'm a big girl, I don't care if people think I'm evil because I believe in evolution (although it's not so much a belief, as an acceptance of the information presented at least as far as I accept any information presented in a scientific way - it's always subject to constant scrutiny and healthy scepticism). I'd rather my son were not being told that his parents are evil, though. And I do worry about what my son is having happen, inside his own head, with all the confusion this could be causing for him - and he is too afraid to talk to me or husband about it.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 79765, member: 1991"] Thanks, 1DaaT & Star. It's hard to really define my concerns - but I guess it boils down to this: I want him to be happy, and for him especially, this means being true to himself. I don't think this is what is happening at the moment. I do not want to see him make a thorough commitment in life which at a later stage will bring him unstuck emotionally and spiritually. For those who think the way this magazine does (and the way girlfriend seems to, at the moment) their faith is so inextricably wound up in what I consider to be false and misleading beliefs in stuff that really is irrelevant to matters of faith, I'm concerned that if/when they ever wake up and smell the coffee, they will feel obliged to throw away their faith with these misconceptions. Scientists I've worked with have done this - husband & I spent some time talking to some zoology professors at various departmental events and found their attitude was, "If I can't work in my chosen field of palaeontology and evolution theory without being bombarded and made to feel guilty, then where would any faith fit in my life?" They were surprised when we told them that for us there never had been any conflict - it seems the only Christians they ever heard from were the ones who attacked them for "deliberately and viciously publishing lies". It was only a year ago, maybe less, that difficult child 1 thought he was heading to university to study zoology and animal behaviour. I'm wondering now if he threw away that dream because he was influenced by others. I remember the first time I was attacked by Christians because I was studying Zoology. I was totally taken aback, I'd never encountered this conflict. And as firm as I thought I was in my chosen direction, it shook me. I really did question my own motives and finally realised - the person who had been speaking to me really had no authority (certainly not the authority he claimed) and was acting under his own motivation. And at that time I had the benefit of diverse opinions to share this with. I don't think difficult child 1 has this right now, I think he's totally brainwashed because he's so utterly subsumed into this particular group. At some stage in the future, he may wake up from all this and think he has to throw out the baby with the bathwater. I feel I need to make it clear to him - husband & I DO know what he is going through here, it IS possible to have faith and still believe in evolution (regardless of what he is being told) and he CAN talk to us, we will not try to change his beliefs - only make him test his own beliefs and ideas properly, to be certain they are his and not simply what he is told they should be. When we grow up being told what to believe, at some stage we often go through what I call "the adolescence of faith" where we stop taking what we have been told at face value, and begin to question everything. We sometimes at this point can become turned around 180 degrees from the position we previously held, purely out of rebellion. If you ever survive this and come back to a belief system at all, it is with knowledge and better understanding. Some people never experience this; some do, and never come back. And I have seen it happen in a number of different faiths. I'm still reading my way through this magazine. Interesting. I'm concerned that the only way the authors of this magazine can do what they do, is to distort their definitions of the thing they fear. I don't think this is deliberate, i think they just fear it so much that they refuse to educate themselves about it. Because they fear it, it is therefore bad. Because it is bad, it is untrue. Because it is untrue, it is from Satan, the Father of Lies. Because it is from Satan, they should not inform themselves about it. because they are uninformed, they do not understand and fear it. It doesn't matter what the issue is - it is having difficult child 1 surrounded by that logic, which is so alien to everything he has been raised with, that scares me. All tolerance, all intellectual curiosity, all balance is discouraged. The world is a bad place to be feared and therefore we must make ourselves apart from it. I am reading this literature provided by this narrow viewpoint. He will not read my literature. I have written articles on evolutionary theory - he used to be proud of me for this. He used to brag about it to his friends. Now he is silent. In this, I see a part of him being silenced and what THAT is doing to him is what scares me. I'm a big girl, I don't care if people think I'm evil because I believe in evolution (although it's not so much a belief, as an acceptance of the information presented at least as far as I accept any information presented in a scientific way - it's always subject to constant scrutiny and healthy scepticism). I'd rather my son were not being told that his parents are evil, though. And I do worry about what my son is having happen, inside his own head, with all the confusion this could be causing for him - and he is too afraid to talk to me or husband about it. Marg [/QUOTE]
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