Score 1 for DF and send me to the nut ward.

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Star*, Jan 11, 2010.

  1. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Ever see those Mutual of Omaha Wild Kingdom animal shows where the male of the species roar, and butt heads, snort, flick the earth under their massive hooves, and the noise is near deafening to us females? Over seemingly (exhale) what?

    Age and treachery took it's toll last week, and this weekend and finally came to a head yesterday with DF and Dude nearly coming to blows. I swear I felt like I was sitting in the middle of Darkest Africa watching gorillas fight over a patch of grass. That patch being of course - the place where Dude was told several times NOT to bring his car to the house. Yet, defiantly drove it there anyway and parked it.

    Let's see you big dummy. It's been at your friends house because - you drove it without a license and have a huge fine. You kicked another boys car over a dumb girl and had to sell it to pay for the damages or go to jail. You bought it back instead of letting it go and then asked could you bring it to our home and we said NO. Why? Oh well that list is so long - but summing that up - You have no license - yet take off in that car whenever we don't please you. Worrying us to pieces. You are told not to start the car and rev the motor, yet do so three or four times a day; whenever on the phone with a girl. You do doughnuts in our grass. You burn out in front of our house and leave 80 foot skid marks. Nice - now every idiot in the county has left their calling card too. (Told him they would) TEN YEARS I LIVE HERE AND NOTHING - he moves in..(ah well who wants to hear what an idiot I am - don't roll your eyes at me) I know.

    So he's argued his case poorly making every invalid point about "HE SHOULD" be able to and finally just decided HE WOULD. Well, DF decided HE WOULD NOT. Told him the car would be towed. Dude said "Touch my car and I'll blow up your house, I'll burn it down, You'll see what stuff you think you don't have I'll wreck YOUR stuff." And that was too much and across the room he went and I swear it was like slow - motion. I kept thinking "Dude you deserve this, and then I thought - I had better call 911, I'm going to need bail money, I'll have to call an ambulance, I wonder what's going to get broken, I better put the dogs up, Can I leave and NOT be here? Should I take the dogs with me? How quick can I get their collars on? and then WHAM....DF stopped that short of smacking Dudes teeth out of his mouth. Of course with Dude still sitting there running and running and running and I was like (snap)

    I got up.....I went in the house......They are both yelling at me...I got my keys......they are both yelling at me........I got my coat......they are both still telling me stuff.......I got my purse......they are both yelling stuff, and I couldn't hear them, not a word, my heart hurt, my chest was pounding and all I could think about was "I'm having another stroke." I left the door open, I got in the car, I backed out and I left. I have no idea where I was going, what I was doing. I just drove. I hit a pot hole the size of Kentucky the radio went out and I thought - oh well...silence is good. And I just drove.

    My phone was on silent mode. I ended up at the DOllar General, got dog biscuits, and sat in my car for an hour. Have NO idea what I was doing.

    I came home. Dudes car was gone. DF started to talk and in our entire relationship I've never said "I don't want to talk or hear it." But I did. Then I turned and said "I think I was headed for the ER, but I got dog biscuits." went in the kitchen and the phone rang. It was Dude. He was at the friends house he was SUPPOSED to take the car to in the first place. Could he have a ride? "Okay." I left.

    He got in the car. He started to tell "His side" and I said "SHUT UP." just as calm and as monotone as you please. Then I said "I was headed for the ER, but I got dog biscuits. Your lack of respect is what started this entire argument. Dad said NO. Period. YOU KNOW why you can't bring YOUR car to the house until it's legal. You KNOW why the argument started TODAY. You KNEW what was right from the get go - but you push, and push and push. You push with stupid little things like STEALING my razors then throw them under my sink or you ask for a screwdriver then leave it on the floor after you SWEAR you will return it and you do these little things over and over and over and over to the point that when you do a whopper like this? We have NOTHING left to give in tolerance for you. This time Dude, you pushed too far. You have pushed that man past his limits.....day in and day out for 11 years. No more. Now he's pushing back. The thing that makes me so dad blamed angry about the entire thing is -----

    YOU ENDED UP DOING what you were GOING TO DO in the end ANYWAY...you just had to RUIN everyone's day and stomach, and attitude and once again - drive another wedge between us. There can't be any pride or sense of accomplishment or love in how you feel right now. You just make everyone feel awful. ME? You make me feel like I'm having another stroke.

    We got home. He had some mess in the yard and he cleaned it up much to DF's surprise. We ate a quiet supper. He cleaned his room, and packed his bag because he's leaving to work out of state for a few months (home on weekends) otherwise he'd be packing to go live with someone else yesterday. Park, bench, wouldn't matter....He called a friend to come get him to take him to his boss' house instead of me driving him there in the dark. He told me he was sorry about everything. I just nodded. I told him that regardless of what he thinks - that MAN in the other room loved him, and our family may not make-up today, but we never part without saying I love you. So he walked into the den, held out both arms and said "Poppa I'm sorry, We'll talk later I know I have to leave now, but I love you." DF got up and hugged him - said I love you too - and yes, we will talk later.

    That was it. DF walked around ashamed of himself for raising his hand to hit Dude and I said - "You have got to be kidding." The stuff that was coming out of his mouth!? Listen I'm not prone to violence but you're human and you can ONLY take so much mouth out of a 19 year old and Dude digs for gold when he fights. He has never ever fought fair. He threatens things that you really aren't sure if he's seriously going to do. You told him NO, you stuck to NO, and he disrespected you and does OVER AND OVER AND OVER then 10 minutes later comes and asks you to borrow this or that? Fooey.

    I'm glad you did NOT hit him but completely understand wanting to. COMPLETELY. If I could have found the gorilla glue I'm not sure his mouth would have ever opened without surgical assistance. ARGHHHHHhhhhh.

    So much for a nice dinner :sick: and a relaxing day. :faint: - I wanted just 1 day in the pajamas watching the Sopranos. Now all I want to do is FUGHADDABOUDIT. lol

    oh and as soon as the car IS legal, has head lights, tail lights, insurance, registration, tags, 4 tires, and Dude has a license? He CAN park it at the house.
     
  2. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    When I read this I was reminded of endless days of Rob pulling the same kind of baloney that drove us all to the brink and beyond.

    Empty nest is a wonderful thing. I'm glad you will be back there soon again.

    Hugs.

    Suz
     
  3. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    HUGS - love ya Starbie. You did great. I'm proud of you.

    And if they're sending you to the nut ward, we'll huddle in the corner and have a party.
     
  4. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Suz - If he was not working out of town I swear the extra big seabag I purchased for him would have doubled as a tent.

    Step - I had to chuckle and slap my hand over my mouth at work. I actually got excited thinking all my friends would join me at my nut-hut party. Hors dourves anyone? :tongue: Lance crackers and a Sprite Zero?
     
  5. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Or you could sell it...

    I definitely get the "why did we have to go through all of this just to end up where we would have and should have, anyway" button pushing. Ack!
     
  6. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Ahhhhh Witz......EBAY!! Craigslist. Wonder what a 19 year old boy GOES for these days???? ;)
     
  7. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Don't even ask...
     
  8. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Extra big seabag? You are a nice Mom.

    I would have been tempted to use those designer lawn and leaf bags...with a high end drawstring, of course.

    Suz
     
  9. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    ROFLM hiney off.....okay here's whats so funny - the LAST blow up - remember I posted about that where I lobbed rocks across the yard and the neighbors must think I'm mental? HE TOOK ALL OF OUR TRASH BAGS.....

    $12.99 cents worth of Hefty Cinch Sacks.

    I got the seabag at the Goodwill. :rofl: $3.97
     
  10. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Good lord. Have you been taking lessons from Tony and Cory back when Cory was still living here? LOL. That sounds like some of the fights that went on then.

    Have to admit it though, I dont think Tony would have held back. Cory would have been lying in the dirt.
     
  11. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

  12. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    {{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}

    I will join you in the NutHut. I can bring all kinds of dvds and some munchies.
     
  13. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    DOG BISCUITS???

    You bought dog biscuits????????

    :winks:
     
  14. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Oh my! I don't want to remember... but I do. My difficult child used to do all these things and when confrounted would punch my husband. I cannot live that again. Not even just on weekends. I do not know how you do it.
     
  15. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Oh, but the testosterone was just dripping from that post. ugh! husband and Travis have done that a couple of times, only it's husband doing the pushing and Travis who is sick of it. Then husband going off the deep end cuz how dare the boy stand up to him!

    Travis isn't even here and we had that going on this week. OMG! husband's laptop is suddenly acting up so it has just got to be Travis' fault.......why? Cuz he was just home on winter break. Gimme a break. husband hoovers at maintaining a computer which is why he is no longer allowed to touch mine for anything. (it's password protected) husband described the symptoms his computer was having and I said it was 2 things. 1. the system machanic program he has installed. (good for some things, but can mess up your computer if you don't know how to use it properly. husband doesn't.) 2. his anti-virus program stinks.....yet he continues to use it.

    I've done the walk out. Usually it's when I've reached the breaking point and if I don't go I'm going to wind up in jail because I'm going to seriously hurt someone. Done it to husband and Travis once, and to husband and Nichole a couple of times. Hmmm a pattern there. lol

    Dude has got to learn he can't fall back into old habits. You and husband smacking him down each time he attempts it is a good thing, although not pleasant for either of you. been there done that with Nichole.....and she's not half as stubborn as Dude seems to be. ;)

    If you can just get the kid to realize that in the end he winds up doing what he should've done.....so why the heck is it necessary to go thru the painful process to get there........you'll have scored a home run.

    Dog biscuits?? I'm sure the dogs aren't complaining. lol Glad he'll be working out of town most of the time and you all can have a break from each other.

    ((hugs))
     
  16. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    If I bring iced tea and crackers, may I join the nut-hut party? I'm just trying to hold on...
     
  17. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    ROFLMAO at Suz.....leave it to the Queen of the links to find the BARGAIN litter bags. (Actually that really is a better price that I've even seen at Sams Club) I may just order those depending on s&h.

    Thanks Suz! I really needed that today.
     
  18. Robinboots

    Robinboots New Member

    Hang on, gotta pick my jaw up off the floor. Do we have the same kid or what???????????

    I'm coming to the party. Bringing rum balls. And wine.

    Oh yeah - so here I am in PE, as recommended...countdown, almost exactly 11 months to go.

    aka Bootsey
     
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