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screaming 5 year old
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 363726" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I agree that your daughter needs a complete evaluation, including Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation for sensory issues and speech evaluation for possible language and processing issues. Chances are that it will not be easy to figure it all out, but it will tell you how to help her.</p><p></p><p>It sounds like she works really hard when you are not around so that she can keep everything together and please people. When she is with you she knows you love her no matter what so she lets the stress show in these screaming fits. It isn't fun to parent a child like this, but it is a sign that she trusts you to love her no matter what. </p><p></p><p>Do sounds, textures, noises, tastes and other types of sensory input either drive her nuts so she avoids them or please her so she seeks them out more than other children do? This is called sensory integration disorder and it means that her brain is not handling input from her senses properly. My youngest could NOT sit in church for the service except in the very few rows under the choir loft. The sounds of the organ were not quite as loud there. even with that it took about six years of leaving early with him before he could handle sitting through a service. The noise bothered him by the volume and the very deep bass and very high pitched singers. There were times I put noise cancelling headphones on him if we didn't want to leave the service. The big old fashioned looking ones that totally cover the ears.</p><p></p><p>He is also sensitive to many foods. Not that shows as an allergy, but it certainly changes his behavior. Some of these have been outgrown, thank heavens. He was 5 before he could eat pizza. The cheese and tomato both caused problems. At home we made them with soy cream cheese (which is actually better than reg cream cheese!), veggies and english muffins so he could feel he had pizza. He is 10 now and this has been the first year of school where he did not miss lots of school due to being overwhelmed by the sensory stuff at school. He literally would get really pale and shake slightly for hours when he was overwhelmed. Luckily he learns easily and has always been at the top of his class. </p><p></p><p>My son also eats his shirts. He needs to chew on things and shirts seem to fit the need. Every few months I have to replace his shirts, usually at thrift stores because there isn't much point in buying new ones. He doesn't even realize he does it until the shirt collar is all wet or if it has long sleeves the cuffs are soaking. We could try to force him to stop but there isn't much point. He would have to do something else to fill the need. We figure that when he is ready he will stop. I just pray that he doesn't take up smoking or chewing tobacco to fill that need in a more "adult" way.</p><p></p><p>If we were to ignore my son's sensory issues I am sure he would have spent hours screaming or crying. He simply would be unable to cope. Lucky for him his siblings also have sensory issues and I have a LOT of them myself. So he has gotten a lot more understanding than he would otherwise. I know for a fact that quite a few relatives think I am too "easy" on him because for years I have let him leave outings/events/church/functions early if he was overwhelmed. </p><p></p><p>Treating sensory issues is not as difficult as it may sound. Some of the therapies have actually been shown to rewire how the brain handles the sensory input without the use of medication or anything invasive. Usually brushing therapy is combined with very gentle joint compressions. This MUST be taught by a qualified Occupational Therapist (OT) because if you do not do it correctly you can create major problems. Once you have learned it (it is easy to learn) you can do the entire treatment, without rushing, in about 2-3 minutes. Many kids find it pleasant though some do not. Another part of the treatment is to provide a variety of kinds of sensory input, called a sensory diet. With thank you I was happily surprised that the types of sensation to provide were all things he enjoyed and even sought out. Things we needed to avoid were things he disliked strongly anyway. He cannot tolerate the taste of pineapple or strawberry. Just simply shudders and even gags at it. These are things that are not good for him, that he reacts to. It made letting him eat at school and go to other people's houses really easy. He just politely (mostly) declines those things. </p><p></p><p>Your child may have learning disabilities that she is hiding. She may be aware that she is somehow different and is hiding it or something may be uncomfortable or painful and she thinks it is that way for everyone. Holding a pencil is painful for all of my kids. They never said much because they ALL thought everyone hurt if they wrote or colored much. This is one thing a neuropsychologist evaluation can help with. There can be various types of language processing disorders that she may be compensating for.</p><p></p><p>Hiding and/or compensating for things like this is extremely difficult. It requires an enormous amount of energy and can inspire real dread in a person. The earlier you can identify problems the easier it will be for her to adapt to new ways to help. It is rare for a child to want to displease her parents/teachers and other adults in her life. Most kids want to please. She shows you that she cares when she can stop herself long enough to get into her own space if her sister is upset by her screaming. This is HUGE. It is so hard for her to do this, and it really shows that she cares and is dealing with something that she simply cannot cope with. It means that if you can identify the underlying problems and make accommodations and supports available she will likely be able to develop better ways to cope. </p><p></p><p>It is a big challenge, but it will make a world of difference in ALL of your lives. If she is on the autistic spectrum the earlier you find out the more she will be able to learn to handle her problems and the better she will be able to fit into the world in a more "normal" way. Being on the autistic spectrum is NOT as scary as it sounds. It is a difference in the wiring in the brain rather than being a mental illness. It likely means that she will have things she is extremely gifted in as well as things she has problems with. in my opinion it is one of the most hopeful and positive problems a person can have.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 363726, member: 1233"] I agree that your daughter needs a complete evaluation, including Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation for sensory issues and speech evaluation for possible language and processing issues. Chances are that it will not be easy to figure it all out, but it will tell you how to help her. It sounds like she works really hard when you are not around so that she can keep everything together and please people. When she is with you she knows you love her no matter what so she lets the stress show in these screaming fits. It isn't fun to parent a child like this, but it is a sign that she trusts you to love her no matter what. Do sounds, textures, noises, tastes and other types of sensory input either drive her nuts so she avoids them or please her so she seeks them out more than other children do? This is called sensory integration disorder and it means that her brain is not handling input from her senses properly. My youngest could NOT sit in church for the service except in the very few rows under the choir loft. The sounds of the organ were not quite as loud there. even with that it took about six years of leaving early with him before he could handle sitting through a service. The noise bothered him by the volume and the very deep bass and very high pitched singers. There were times I put noise cancelling headphones on him if we didn't want to leave the service. The big old fashioned looking ones that totally cover the ears. He is also sensitive to many foods. Not that shows as an allergy, but it certainly changes his behavior. Some of these have been outgrown, thank heavens. He was 5 before he could eat pizza. The cheese and tomato both caused problems. At home we made them with soy cream cheese (which is actually better than reg cream cheese!), veggies and english muffins so he could feel he had pizza. He is 10 now and this has been the first year of school where he did not miss lots of school due to being overwhelmed by the sensory stuff at school. He literally would get really pale and shake slightly for hours when he was overwhelmed. Luckily he learns easily and has always been at the top of his class. My son also eats his shirts. He needs to chew on things and shirts seem to fit the need. Every few months I have to replace his shirts, usually at thrift stores because there isn't much point in buying new ones. He doesn't even realize he does it until the shirt collar is all wet or if it has long sleeves the cuffs are soaking. We could try to force him to stop but there isn't much point. He would have to do something else to fill the need. We figure that when he is ready he will stop. I just pray that he doesn't take up smoking or chewing tobacco to fill that need in a more "adult" way. If we were to ignore my son's sensory issues I am sure he would have spent hours screaming or crying. He simply would be unable to cope. Lucky for him his siblings also have sensory issues and I have a LOT of them myself. So he has gotten a lot more understanding than he would otherwise. I know for a fact that quite a few relatives think I am too "easy" on him because for years I have let him leave outings/events/church/functions early if he was overwhelmed. Treating sensory issues is not as difficult as it may sound. Some of the therapies have actually been shown to rewire how the brain handles the sensory input without the use of medication or anything invasive. Usually brushing therapy is combined with very gentle joint compressions. This MUST be taught by a qualified Occupational Therapist (OT) because if you do not do it correctly you can create major problems. Once you have learned it (it is easy to learn) you can do the entire treatment, without rushing, in about 2-3 minutes. Many kids find it pleasant though some do not. Another part of the treatment is to provide a variety of kinds of sensory input, called a sensory diet. With thank you I was happily surprised that the types of sensation to provide were all things he enjoyed and even sought out. Things we needed to avoid were things he disliked strongly anyway. He cannot tolerate the taste of pineapple or strawberry. Just simply shudders and even gags at it. These are things that are not good for him, that he reacts to. It made letting him eat at school and go to other people's houses really easy. He just politely (mostly) declines those things. Your child may have learning disabilities that she is hiding. She may be aware that she is somehow different and is hiding it or something may be uncomfortable or painful and she thinks it is that way for everyone. Holding a pencil is painful for all of my kids. They never said much because they ALL thought everyone hurt if they wrote or colored much. This is one thing a neuropsychologist evaluation can help with. There can be various types of language processing disorders that she may be compensating for. Hiding and/or compensating for things like this is extremely difficult. It requires an enormous amount of energy and can inspire real dread in a person. The earlier you can identify problems the easier it will be for her to adapt to new ways to help. It is rare for a child to want to displease her parents/teachers and other adults in her life. Most kids want to please. She shows you that she cares when she can stop herself long enough to get into her own space if her sister is upset by her screaming. This is HUGE. It is so hard for her to do this, and it really shows that she cares and is dealing with something that she simply cannot cope with. It means that if you can identify the underlying problems and make accommodations and supports available she will likely be able to develop better ways to cope. It is a big challenge, but it will make a world of difference in ALL of your lives. If she is on the autistic spectrum the earlier you find out the more she will be able to learn to handle her problems and the better she will be able to fit into the world in a more "normal" way. Being on the autistic spectrum is NOT as scary as it sounds. It is a difference in the wiring in the brain rather than being a mental illness. It likely means that she will have things she is extremely gifted in as well as things she has problems with. in my opinion it is one of the most hopeful and positive problems a person can have. [/QUOTE]
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