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SD has run away...
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<blockquote data-quote="Shari" data-source="post: 368811" data-attributes="member: 1848"><p>Ditto what has already been said, but I'd also like to say this...</p><p> </p><p>Right now, your SD is in control of the situation and knows it. She ran away, and went to daddy's to further manipulate the situation when she realized she would be in trouble... If she doesn't get grounded for running away right now, what's going to happen in a year, when her demands/wants are bigger then meeting a boy at the park for an hour, and she doesn't get what she wants?? She WILL up the ante.</p><p> </p><p>If you enforce the consequences now, and she runs again, she is learning that you won't sit by and take it, whether it ultimately changes her behavior immediately or not, she is learning where the boundaries are. The hope will be that eventually, she will get tired of living that kind of life and make that change.</p><p> </p><p>But if you don't enforce that consequence, she will never have the opportunity to learn that lesson, and without the lesson, there won't be change.</p><p> </p><p>You don't want her to have a life with a rap sheet and a record and police involvement or daddy, but that's not your choice to make...those things are HER decisions made by her actions. </p><p> </p><p>Some kids have to take the hard road. I'm sorry yours is one of them.</p><p> </p><p>My difficult child 1 was grounded half of his teenage years. He left hating me. Not so sure he still doesn't partially hate me, but he's also realized that I wasn't all wrong and he's making his way so far. And THAT is the goal.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Shari, post: 368811, member: 1848"] Ditto what has already been said, but I'd also like to say this... Right now, your SD is in control of the situation and knows it. She ran away, and went to daddy's to further manipulate the situation when she realized she would be in trouble... If she doesn't get grounded for running away right now, what's going to happen in a year, when her demands/wants are bigger then meeting a boy at the park for an hour, and she doesn't get what she wants?? She WILL up the ante. If you enforce the consequences now, and she runs again, she is learning that you won't sit by and take it, whether it ultimately changes her behavior immediately or not, she is learning where the boundaries are. The hope will be that eventually, she will get tired of living that kind of life and make that change. But if you don't enforce that consequence, she will never have the opportunity to learn that lesson, and without the lesson, there won't be change. You don't want her to have a life with a rap sheet and a record and police involvement or daddy, but that's not your choice to make...those things are HER decisions made by her actions. Some kids have to take the hard road. I'm sorry yours is one of them. My difficult child 1 was grounded half of his teenage years. He left hating me. Not so sure he still doesn't partially hate me, but he's also realized that I wasn't all wrong and he's making his way so far. And THAT is the goal. [/QUOTE]
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