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Secondary Benefit from Illness
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<blockquote data-quote="DaisyFace" data-source="post: 283631" data-attributes="member: 6546"><p>Hello--</p><p> </p><p>I have also heard Dr. Phil say that people get a "benefit" from these types of conditions...</p><p> </p><p>Well, I suffered from severe IBS for many years. Agonizing stomache pains. Trouble eating. Sick and tired ALL the time. It was awful! It dominated my whole life. And even though I knew full well that stress and anxiety was one of the "triggers", I couldn't get ahold of myself to make it stop.</p><p> </p><p>And there was Dr. Phil saying "<em>As soon as you figure out what your payoff is, this condition will disappear in a snap</em>."</p><p> </p><p>Well, I never could figure out any "payoff" or "benefit" to being in agonzing pain and being stuck ion the bathroom for hours on end....</p><p> </p><p>And then, I tried to think about it from a different direction. Why was my body doing this is repsonse to stress? It turned out that the answer was simple...</p><p> </p><p>My body was doing this in response to stress because I was (In Marg's words) "Soldiering on". No matter how hard, scary, stressful, aggravating the situation, I was forcing myself to handle it--deal with it. And I as buring the candle at both ends trying to handle everything that life was throwing at me.</p><p> </p><p>And when I got sick--I was down for the count for several hours. I began to think that perhaps IBS was my body's way of telling me that if I don't give my body and mind a chance to relax, to step back, to rest--then my body was going to do something so drastic that it would FORCE me to stop, if only for a few hours at a time.</p><p> </p><p>So now, when I feel that "IBS attack" feeling start to stir up--I go and take a small break all by myself in a quiet area.</p><p> </p><p>And I have not had a non-food stomache incident now in a very long time, despite my continued stress.</p><p> </p><p>Perhaps a similar thing is happening with your daughter...? Is her body and mind forcing her into bed for a "break" because she is not willfully letting herself relax?</p><p> </p><p>It was certainly the case with me....</p><p> </p><p>((((hugs))))</p><p> </p><p>--DaisyF</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DaisyFace, post: 283631, member: 6546"] Hello-- I have also heard Dr. Phil say that people get a "benefit" from these types of conditions... Well, I suffered from severe IBS for many years. Agonizing stomache pains. Trouble eating. Sick and tired ALL the time. It was awful! It dominated my whole life. And even though I knew full well that stress and anxiety was one of the "triggers", I couldn't get ahold of myself to make it stop. And there was Dr. Phil saying "[I]As soon as you figure out what your payoff is, this condition will disappear in a snap[/I]." Well, I never could figure out any "payoff" or "benefit" to being in agonzing pain and being stuck ion the bathroom for hours on end.... And then, I tried to think about it from a different direction. Why was my body doing this is repsonse to stress? It turned out that the answer was simple... My body was doing this in response to stress because I was (In Marg's words) "Soldiering on". No matter how hard, scary, stressful, aggravating the situation, I was forcing myself to handle it--deal with it. And I as buring the candle at both ends trying to handle everything that life was throwing at me. And when I got sick--I was down for the count for several hours. I began to think that perhaps IBS was my body's way of telling me that if I don't give my body and mind a chance to relax, to step back, to rest--then my body was going to do something so drastic that it would FORCE me to stop, if only for a few hours at a time. So now, when I feel that "IBS attack" feeling start to stir up--I go and take a small break all by myself in a quiet area. And I have not had a non-food stomache incident now in a very long time, despite my continued stress. Perhaps a similar thing is happening with your daughter...? Is her body and mind forcing her into bed for a "break" because she is not willfully letting herself relax? It was certainly the case with me.... ((((hugs)))) --DaisyF [/QUOTE]
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