See advice for difficult 6 1/2 yr old son

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by rachelfran, Mar 29, 2008.

  1. rachelfran

    rachelfran New Member

    I've been to this board before and will sum up our situation until now :

    my son is 7 in july; he's been getting Occupational Therapist (OT), PT, Speech and off/on counseling since he's 3; He's in a CTT class for kindergarden & 1st grade but teachers say he's ready for a gen ed. classroom for 2nd grade; we're happy he's doing well in school;

    At home though - his behavior is seemingly not typical for a kid his age; he rarely plays with toys - prefers to watch t.v., play computer & video games or gameboy; if a friend comes over - he does not play well with him - usually wanting him to watch what he does and not letting the friend do what he wants to do;

    also - and most noticeably - he has a terrible temper - involving hitting, screaming, crying - though we've never heard of this behavior in school; He will claw and kick and fight if we try to put him in a time out .. pretty much what we see on that nanny show on t.v....

    Whenever he's told "no" - he reacts violently - though it often just blows over within minutes;

    We had taken him to a psychiatric because we thought he had ODD (that's when I was on this board last) - but the psychiatric ruled it out though he could see some symptoms but in the end we left with no diagnosis and I still have a nagging feeling that something is wrong with DS ... what should our next steps be? Should we just try another psychiatric? a developmental pediatrician?

    We don't have the $$ for a $4000 plus evaluation and when the last psychiatric tried to get some evaluating done - he found it next to impossible because of my sons oppositional nature.


    (FWIW I have read the Difficult Child)
  2. looking4hope

    looking4hope New Member

    Welcome to the board! It's a great place for help.

    Can we get some background on your difficult child? Is he on medications? Why is get getting Occupational Therapist (OT) and the other services?

    ODD is generally due to another cause, so there is something else going on here. I can also tell you that many of our difficult children do well at school and not at home, or vice versa (which was my case). The "Explosive Child" helps with some strategies to control behavior, so you may want to read that as well. However, in my experience many kids don't respond to typical disciplinary tactics. That said, you need to figure out what will motivate your child. Mine also craved "screen time" (TV, video games, GameBoy, etc.), so he had to earn that privilege. It was also the first thing taken away for bad behavior. But you need to spell it out with your child, and what he needs to do to earn screen time, and what behaviors will take it away (like hitting, kicking and throwing tantrums). by the way, time outs didn't work with my son at that age either, so I would just go and pull the power cord off the PlayStation. That got his attention quick!

    As far as the social issue, my difficult child was the same way. It wasn't until he found a friend who was very laid back, and also liked to play video games, that he became more social. The Nintendo DS also helped, because they can play the same game against each other on their individual consoles. After a while, they started doing other things besides the video games, but it certainly opened the door. Make sure you have games that they can play together, and at least two controllers as well.

    I wish you lots of luck. I know that others will have some strategies for you. Welcome again!
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi, and welcome.
    I would take him to a neuropsychologist rather than a regular psychologist. He has some serious red flags for possibly a neurological disorder, such as autistic spectrum disorder, high functioning. HIs lack of play with toys or with kids and over-interest in his computers makes me think of this. in my opinion it probably isn't just ODD--ODD is usually caused by another disorder that makes the child unhappy and behaviorally difficult. If he can't see a neuropsychologist (not the same as a neurologist) then I'd see a Developmental Pediatrician who can keep an eye on him. Did he have any developmental delays, problems with speech, eye contact problems? Did he potty on time? Does he have sensory issues? Does he like to memorize things? Can he recite parts of tv shows he watches? Does he sometimes seem like he's in his own head? Does he obsess over things? Does he rage when forced to transition from one activity to another? (This was a big one for my son).
    We're just moms here. Again, I'd take him to a neuropsychologist. Good luck.
    Here's an online test for Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). You may want to see if it fits your child:
  4. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    If there is any suspicion of autism spectrum disorder, you could try contacting your local MR/daughter for assistance. It really depends on their funding and available resources, but ours seems to be wonderful from the feedback I hear. Worth a shot, maybe. At the very least, they might be able to point you in some other directions.
  5. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    You might also want to contact your local Autism Society to see who they would recommend for a thorough evaluation. Good luck.
  6. rachelfran

    rachelfran New Member

    What is MR/daughter?

  7. rachelfran

    rachelfran New Member

    My son is not on medications...
    He's been getting Occupational Therapist (OT) - mostly for poor handwriting - at least at this point... He gets PT for poor muscle tone and he's pretty klutzy ... poor balance ... He gets speech - mostly for pragmatics now - but he had a number of different lingual issues including a bit of a lisp;

    Thank you for your comments...

    For us now - we are concerned about his real lack of patience and his temper ... He really blows his top when he doesn't get his way ... It can be very embarrassing when we are out in public and the only thing we can do is ignore him and go about our business...


  8. rachelfran

    rachelfran New Member

    The only autism red flags for me - are his difficulty playing with-other kids... he has good eye contact and he does try to play with-other kids but I sense that his temper history and his babyish voice probably put kids his own age off -- and they don't want to play with-him.
  9. rachelfran

    rachelfran New Member

    This online test really didn't apply to us and the answer to most of your questions is no -- except that he had/has some speech issues and transitions are difficult;