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General Parenting
Seeking advice on sorting out marriage - stay or go
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<blockquote data-quote="graceupongrace" data-source="post: 279666" data-attributes="member: 7371"><p>WNC,</p><p></p><p>I am <u><em>so</em></u> sorry for your pain. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/felttip/sad-very.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":sad-very:" title="sad-very :sad-very:" data-shortname=":sad-very:" /></p><p></p><p>Do husband's fits of anger involve violence toward you or the kids? If so, that puts the situation in a different category.</p><p></p><p>Is husband depressed? The strain of dealing with a difficult child and its impact on the rest of life can cause situational (as opposed to more chronic) depression.</p><p></p><p>There are no easy answers, as I'm sure you've discovered. I certainly don't have them; my own marriage ended several years ago. But if husband is not violent, I would encourage you to go slowly and look at the first 20 years as well as the last three as you consider what to do. That doesn't mean you should stay at all costs. But I've learned that raising kids by yourself is harder than you can ever imagine, especially when one is a difficult child. And the arguments with husband don't stop entirely when the divorce papers are signed; they just occur in a different context.</p><p></p><p>Your signature says you have several kids. So the question isn't really "Would I be better off with or without him?" but "Would the family be better off with or without him?" </p><p></p><p>Again, I'm so sorry.</p><p></p><p>Sending you hugs and prayers.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="graceupongrace, post: 279666, member: 7371"] WNC, I am [U][I]so[/I][/U] sorry for your pain. :sad-very: Do husband's fits of anger involve violence toward you or the kids? If so, that puts the situation in a different category. Is husband depressed? The strain of dealing with a difficult child and its impact on the rest of life can cause situational (as opposed to more chronic) depression. There are no easy answers, as I'm sure you've discovered. I certainly don't have them; my own marriage ended several years ago. But if husband is not violent, I would encourage you to go slowly and look at the first 20 years as well as the last three as you consider what to do. That doesn't mean you should stay at all costs. But I've learned that raising kids by yourself is harder than you can ever imagine, especially when one is a difficult child. And the arguments with husband don't stop entirely when the divorce papers are signed; they just occur in a different context. Your signature says you have several kids. So the question isn't really "Would I be better off with or without him?" but "Would the family be better off with or without him?" Again, I'm so sorry. Sending you hugs and prayers. [/QUOTE]
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