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Send Wee? Or keep him?
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<blockquote data-quote="Shari" data-source="post: 397446" data-attributes="member: 1848"><p>Setting the precedent is my biggest concern. ExMIL will be there to watch and keep Whack Job in line, but if she gets Wee without me, there's no hope of going back to the way things were before, and while yes, <strong><em>I</em></strong> want things like they were for my own selfish reasons, but what's right for Wee is more important, but I also think a) its much better for Wee if his "family" remains the same all the time (mom and dad (he's called husband dad since we got married - his own choice, the ex-in-laws are ok with it...in their opoinion, husband <em>is</em> dad)), and b) if Whack Job tackles this hurdle, I worry about what she'll set her sights on next. </p><p>DEX has never paid a dime of support. Early on, he would take Wee on rare occassions. The last time he took Wee? Mother's Day 2003. ExMIL had him watch Wee a couple times later in 2003, but both times (he lived in a bedroom at the local volunteer firehouse), he was in his bedroom on his computer while Wee dumped literally every drawer and cabinet in the firehouse kitchen (including the knives). She never let him watch Wee again, and swears she will back me if he ever requests to take Wee alone (at this point, the answer will be no unless he spends some serious time getting to know Wee at her house - Wee is there all the time). In fact, DEX only sees Wee when he happens to swing by and Wee is there and on one of those trips, he told Wee he'd take him to the races. she jumped DEX up one side and down the other that he will NOT make those statements again because he has no business with Wee. </p><p>DEX has never support for either of the boys. He doesn't pay medication bills or anything else. He is not involved in school, and this has been all his choice. He has made no effort to do more or express more interest in Wee, so exMIL and i agree that status quo will be maintained. The only time DEX asks exMIL about Wee is Christmas, when I'm sure its prompted by Whack Job, because Wee never even got a gift from DEX prior to Whack Job. Half the time, DEX didn't even show up, but when he did, everyone had a good time.</p><p>The other thing...DEX's brothers are both professional firefighters. One has been called to duty tomorrow, so the family Christmas plans have changed. If it weren't a question of sending Wee without us, we would most likely arrange our plans to attend Christmas with them...they don't normally spring things last minute like this. I just dont like the precedent it sets, because I know who's behind it.</p><p>(and I knkow i sound like a hippocrite, because I preach how parents need to get along for their kids! my ex lives less than 2 miles from me and wee didn't know who the man was til he was 5. ex only called to get Wee when he had a new girlfriend with kids, and that was only 3 or 4 times. when whack job came on the scene, she demanded dex's rights. she even put on facebook pics of her "new" kids (wee and difficult child 1). She fought with difficult child 1's wife about her <em>right</em> to come see <em>their</em> grandson when the baby was born, SHE, alone, would visit Wee at exMILs to "establish her relationship with her future son", and told him all about his "new" family, and how DEX was such a great dad that used to play with him aand bring him toys - even tho DEX wasn't working but still didnt come visiting with her)....she came into this picture kicking and screaming. And this is at least girlfriend 16 since we got divorced. And DEX is invited to everything of Wee's. Always has been. He just never came.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Shari, post: 397446, member: 1848"] Setting the precedent is my biggest concern. ExMIL will be there to watch and keep Whack Job in line, but if she gets Wee without me, there's no hope of going back to the way things were before, and while yes, [B][I]I[/I][/B] want things like they were for my own selfish reasons, but what's right for Wee is more important, but I also think a) its much better for Wee if his "family" remains the same all the time (mom and dad (he's called husband dad since we got married - his own choice, the ex-in-laws are ok with it...in their opoinion, husband [I]is[/I] dad)), and b) if Whack Job tackles this hurdle, I worry about what she'll set her sights on next. DEX has never paid a dime of support. Early on, he would take Wee on rare occassions. The last time he took Wee? Mother's Day 2003. ExMIL had him watch Wee a couple times later in 2003, but both times (he lived in a bedroom at the local volunteer firehouse), he was in his bedroom on his computer while Wee dumped literally every drawer and cabinet in the firehouse kitchen (including the knives). She never let him watch Wee again, and swears she will back me if he ever requests to take Wee alone (at this point, the answer will be no unless he spends some serious time getting to know Wee at her house - Wee is there all the time). In fact, DEX only sees Wee when he happens to swing by and Wee is there and on one of those trips, he told Wee he'd take him to the races. she jumped DEX up one side and down the other that he will NOT make those statements again because he has no business with Wee. DEX has never support for either of the boys. He doesn't pay medication bills or anything else. He is not involved in school, and this has been all his choice. He has made no effort to do more or express more interest in Wee, so exMIL and i agree that status quo will be maintained. The only time DEX asks exMIL about Wee is Christmas, when I'm sure its prompted by Whack Job, because Wee never even got a gift from DEX prior to Whack Job. Half the time, DEX didn't even show up, but when he did, everyone had a good time. The other thing...DEX's brothers are both professional firefighters. One has been called to duty tomorrow, so the family Christmas plans have changed. If it weren't a question of sending Wee without us, we would most likely arrange our plans to attend Christmas with them...they don't normally spring things last minute like this. I just dont like the precedent it sets, because I know who's behind it. (and I knkow i sound like a hippocrite, because I preach how parents need to get along for their kids! my ex lives less than 2 miles from me and wee didn't know who the man was til he was 5. ex only called to get Wee when he had a new girlfriend with kids, and that was only 3 or 4 times. when whack job came on the scene, she demanded dex's rights. she even put on facebook pics of her "new" kids (wee and difficult child 1). She fought with difficult child 1's wife about her [I]right[/I] to come see [I]their[/I] grandson when the baby was born, SHE, alone, would visit Wee at exMILs to "establish her relationship with her future son", and told him all about his "new" family, and how DEX was such a great dad that used to play with him aand bring him toys - even tho DEX wasn't working but still didnt come visiting with her)....she came into this picture kicking and screaming. And this is at least girlfriend 16 since we got divorced. And DEX is invited to everything of Wee's. Always has been. He just never came. [/QUOTE]
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