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Parent Emeritus
Sent the email that said NO $ to gfg32
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 620554" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>Your instinct to ignore is absolutely right. What will you gain by engaging? Has anyone ever learned anything real by email (well OK, I"ve learned a lot from this board, but I am in a place of learning..your son is not). He desperately wants you to engage IN ANY WAY. and if you do, he will redouble his efforts. You have said all that needs to be said. Your answers to everything are in your previous communications. He can read. Writing it again won't make it clearer. </p><p></p><p>I am still thinking about tattoing "he is not deaf" on my thumb , right where I can see it every minute of every day, so that I remember to stop saying (or writing) the same thing over and over and over that never lands.</p><p></p><p>Try to stop reading his emails. That riled up feeling you get inside of you, that hurt or sadness or anger or sense of being wronged, or need to correct the record? It does you no good. It does him no good. It is hard to get rid of once it starts. Prevent the starting. Don't read it.</p><p></p><p>Good luck to you in these long long days. It really dose get easier. EVentually he will de-escalate, and you will reach a new level of comfort, both with his absence and with occasional communication. You are doing wonderfully. I hope that posting helps...keep it up. We are like a 12 step program! BEst to show up every day</p><p></p><p>Hello, my name is Echo and I am addicted to enabling and control.</p><p></p><p>Welcome, Echo. Welcome Seeking. </p><p></p><p>This too will pass.</p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 620554, member: 17269"] Your instinct to ignore is absolutely right. What will you gain by engaging? Has anyone ever learned anything real by email (well OK, I"ve learned a lot from this board, but I am in a place of learning..your son is not). He desperately wants you to engage IN ANY WAY. and if you do, he will redouble his efforts. You have said all that needs to be said. Your answers to everything are in your previous communications. He can read. Writing it again won't make it clearer. I am still thinking about tattoing "he is not deaf" on my thumb , right where I can see it every minute of every day, so that I remember to stop saying (or writing) the same thing over and over and over that never lands. Try to stop reading his emails. That riled up feeling you get inside of you, that hurt or sadness or anger or sense of being wronged, or need to correct the record? It does you no good. It does him no good. It is hard to get rid of once it starts. Prevent the starting. Don't read it. Good luck to you in these long long days. It really dose get easier. EVentually he will de-escalate, and you will reach a new level of comfort, both with his absence and with occasional communication. You are doing wonderfully. I hope that posting helps...keep it up. We are like a 12 step program! BEst to show up every day Hello, my name is Echo and I am addicted to enabling and control. Welcome, Echo. Welcome Seeking. This too will pass. Echo [/QUOTE]
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Sent the email that said NO $ to gfg32
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