Serenity prayer please!!!

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by carolanne, Feb 5, 2007.

  1. carolanne

    carolanne Member

    Poed doesn't begin to describe how I am feeling right now...I am going to vent here ladies.

    Gfgd group home just called....apparently a legal guardian sig is required in order for her to transfer from one school to another. They asked me to sign....

    And I blew....big time....I told him that suddenly you "need" me to be a parent? You never needed me before....gfgd has done/said whatever she wants to and gotten away with it, never been questioned or held accountable(she's failed all her exams) and suddenly you need me to sign something so she can have her way again? No! A big fat no....I needed her to get help, I needed her to stop lying, I needed her to stop stealing, I needed her to be a nice person....I needed my daughter!

    He said I was being unfair....I said big whoop. I am sick and tired of you calling, the school calling, my friends calling and asking me to step up and be a parent only when she "needs" it.....parenting doesn't work that way, never has never will.

    He said he would come by with the papers and I said no don't bother because I won't answer the door....she can figure it out without me, she hasn't needed me for much of anything else has she? And I hung up.....

    I am so hurt/angry/upset right now.....husband is in a nasty mood and told me I am useless, the girls are home for a snow day and my little guy is teething.....shoot me please /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/919Mad.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/919Mad.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/919Mad.gif
     
  2. hearthope

    hearthope New Member

    Carolanne, sorry you are having such a bad day.

    Lord give me courage to accept the things I can not change
    The courage to change the things I can
    and the wisdom to know the difference
    (that's the way I recall it)

    Don't really know what to say about the school.

    But wishing you some peace and sending {{{hugs}}} your way
     
  3. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE


    Carolanne, I know it is so dang hard to think straight when you are this angry with your child.

    Why is she transferring schools- because she is flunking in the one where she goes?

    What is to be gained by transferring...........or by staying in the school where she currently attends?

    At what point is she responsible for her education and you won't be her guardian? 18?

    Suz
     
  4. muttmeister

    muttmeister Well-Known Member

    Praying for serenity and peace for you.

    I'm not familiar with all of the goings-on with the group home and the school but I've dealt with group homes and I do know how they can be and I also know first hand that I'd rather be shot than have to deal with a difficult child and school issues again. However, I'm just wondering...are you refusing to sign just because you're angry at difficult child and at group home or is it because you honestly don't think it is in difficult child's best interest to move to a different school? If it is the latter then I'm with you: I just wouldn't answer the door. However, if it is just that you are (rightly) mad at the whole situation, maybe it would be worth it to bite the bullet and sign the paper. Sometimes we have to do what is best for our difficult children even if it p!$$e$ us off to do so. Only you know the situation so I'm sure you will do whatever you think is best.

    Here's hoping you can get some of that serenity you need so badly.
     
  5. TYLERFAN

    TYLERFAN New Member

    GOD
    Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change.
    The courage to change the things I can and the
    Wisdom to know the difference.

    Repeat as necessary.
    Gee writing that even helped me.
    I will pray for you.

    Blessings,
    Melissa *
     
  6. carolanne

    carolanne Member

    She is wanting to transfer for several reasons....she's insulted every teacher/assistant/admin possible and they have labelled her a problem student; she thinks she is the next great graphic artist even though the art dept head said she plagarizes(he has said she has some potential but it doesn't show very often);she wants to be with the messed up group of friends she has now(they all attend that school and wonder of wonders are also in local group homes); her sister is entering high school next year and gfgd has promised to make easy child's live miserable if they are in the same school....

    I spoke with the vp of the new school and after telling him what has been going on(no contact, home refusing to involve us in anything) and listening to him I gave him a verbal agreement for her to transfer....BUT....he will be putting in place several stipulations for her...biweekly counseling sessions in school, mandatory reporting to the office between classes(she has a habit of walking out), monthly calls to inform me of her progress regardless of what the home has told him....as I haven't signed any legal forms, nor been to a meeting with the director of the home, they do not have legal custody so final decisions are mine until she is 18...he has also said his dealings with this home are ongoing, that they continually over-step their legal boundaries and he is there to help me in any way regain some control of the situation.

    I wasn't saying no just to upset her; I didn't want another school to have to put up with her crap...she treats teachers and admin with disgust and disrespect(calls her science prof a flaming f#g), and has been labelled a problem student..

    I just think her habit of destroying things were she is and than running away isn't teaching her anything at all....that's her pattern, be a jerk and mistreat everyone and run away....

    Carolanne
     
  7. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Carolanne, I think you did the right thing. Forewarned is forearmed and thanks to your conversation this school won't be surprised by her actions...and can hopefully build a good plan to work on it with her. I'm glad the vp said he'd work with you, too. That's a great result.

    Good job. :bravo:

    Suz
     
  8. Sue C

    Sue C Active Member

    I like the way you are handling it with the principal.
    :bravo:

    Sue
     
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