My day seems to have started as well as it ended. difficult child came home from school yesterday and asked if he could hang out with his friend. I told him that if he went to friend's house it was fine because I had told easy child that I would take him up to the playground after he did his homework. difficult child started to melt, telling me that it wasn't fair that easy child got to go to the playground because his friend wanted to come to our house and that this was the only day that he could come over. I told him that I was going to see if he wanted to come with us to the playground and he said that was a stupid idea. Why would he want to go to the stupid playground. The playground is for idiots like easy child and that he was going to talk to easy child and tell easy child to say that he didn't want to go to the playground so that his friend could come over. I told him that no matter what easy child said, difficult child was not going to have his friend come over because of the way he was behaving. Then he changes his tactic to, "If you take easy child to the playground then you're doing something nice for him and it's been YEARS since you've anything nice for me! What are you going to do for me? Huh?? WHAT??" By now he has me so rattled that I can't even think straight. I kept telling him just to give me a few minutes to calm down and collect my thoughts, but he refused. I locked myself in the bathroom (easy child was in his room eating a snack, so I knew he was safe) and difficult child stood outside the door, banging on it, telling me that if I don't do something nice with him I'm nothing by a **** and a ***** and that he hopes that I die in a big black hole somewhere. Then he walked out the door. He came back five minutes later, still screaming. I said to him that I thought he was going to take a walk. He said that he did. I said that maybe he should take a longer one so that everyone has a chance to calm down. He said that that means that I don't want him here and that he's leaving FOREVER!! And he walked out the door again. Now, I'm trying to hold myself together. Tryingv to help easy child with his homework. I tell easy child that I can't take him to the playground if difficult child does not come back because I can't lock him out the house. easy child, being the easy child that he can be, said that it was okay and he would play in the back yard. He finished homework and he and I goes out back, just as difficult child is walking thought the front door. He comes in the back, tells me he's sorry fore storming off the way he did, and asks if we could talk. I tell him to give me a minute because I was helping easy child get something out of the shed. I go in, he tells me he's sorry for calling me nasty names. I accepted his apology and told him that since he was home I was taking easy child to the playground and that if he could behave I would take him to monster mini golf over the weekend (yes, we're back to monster mini golf again). The rest of the night goes relatively better. This morning I go in his room to check on him and he's laying in bed with the covers overhis head. He's dressed, made his lunch and just has to brush his teeth before he heads to the bus stop. I walk him and gently ask, "difficult child? Are you watching the time?" Instant meltdown. Why did I wait so long to come in and check on him? I know that he likes to leave a certain time and now it's just about that time and he still needs to brush his teeth and why can't I be a better mother and check on him sooner? Oh, and he's not going to school. husband walks in and tells him to get his butt in gear and get ready for school. I tell him if he doesn't want to brush his teeth, fine. Just put his shoes on and get ready to go, and I walked back into my room. husband follows me to say good-bye and I say to him, "I have to deal with this sh!t after being called **** and a ***** last night." OMG!! husband lost his mind! He went downstairs and asked difficult child if he called me those names and difficult child tells him that it's none of his business. husband tells him that he doesn't call ANYONE those names, especially his mother who has done so much for him and that he was going to call therapist and tell him what difficult child said to me. difficult child starts yelling that he had better not tell therapist because it has nothing to do with therapist and therapist doesn't need to know. Really? difficult child calls me downstairs and complains that husband yelled at him and why did I tell him about what happened last night since it was between me and him? I told him that it was my opinion that Dad needed to be kept updated about what goes on in the house while he's not home (I didn't say anything last night becuase I was just too exhausted to even get into it). So difficult child storms out the door, ****** off that his father knows that what he said to me and screaming that he's now late leaving the house and that if he misses the bus it's ALL MY FAULT. Actually, he leaves no early on a normal day that this morning he actually left at the time that he really should be leaving. Seriously, I just want to give up. I just don't care anymore. No matter what I do it never seems to help in any way. He's doing better because of the risperdal, but then we still have to deal with nonsense like this. I'm just so done this morning.