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Setting back adoption 100 yrs--rant
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<blockquote data-quote="mstang67chic" data-source="post: 158848" data-attributes="member: 2459"><p>This is definately one of those AAARRRGGGHHH subjects. On the one hand, I can completely understand wanting to match kids with families of the same race/religion/culture/whatever. On the other hand though....why make a child linger in the limbo of foster care waiting on the "right" parents when there is a perfectly acceptable family that wants to adopt and who just happen to be the wrong color/religion/culture/whatever. Stupid. </p><p></p><p>A good friend of mine was a special needs teacher for years. There was a little boy in her class at one point, I'd say he was aroun 10 or so at the time. He was African American and Autistic. He was verbal but only to mimic, still in diapers and would get over stimulated from noise and excitable situations. He lived with a wonderful foster family who really wanted to adopt him. In fact, I believe they had had him for years. They weren't allowed because they were white. Not only had this boy been with them for a long time but with the Autisim, I'm sure it would have been pretty traumatic for him to be transitioned to a completely new family. This was years ago so I'm hoping that when he "aged out" of the system, they did an adult adoption or were able to keep him somehow. </p><p></p><p>To me, you choose the best parents for the child based on their ability to care for the child, their desire to have the child join their family and the basic match requirements (similar lifestyles - active, sports, activities, etc, background checks, physically capable, all of the "usual" stuff) Heck, our difficult child, even though he is also white, looks nothing like us. husband and I are both brown eyed burnettes and difficult child is blond and blue eyed. What's the difference? If you adopt a child from a different race/religion/culture/whatever, you educate yourself. Do what you need to do to educate the child on their background but they are still part of your family. </p><p></p><p>husband and I couldn't give a rat's patootie about a kids skin color if we adopt again. Granted, when we started the process before difficult child, we did decide to limit our choices to white kids. This was <strong><u>only</u></strong> due to the fact of the area we live in. We figured any kid we got would have been through enough and didn't need to have to deal with the idiots we have in this town. Now though, while the idiots are still out there, things have improved. If we were to adopt again, I don't think we would limit ourselves again. Besides....idiots are everywhere and are idiots for various reasons. We all have to learn how to deal with them.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mstang67chic, post: 158848, member: 2459"] This is definately one of those AAARRRGGGHHH subjects. On the one hand, I can completely understand wanting to match kids with families of the same race/religion/culture/whatever. On the other hand though....why make a child linger in the limbo of foster care waiting on the "right" parents when there is a perfectly acceptable family that wants to adopt and who just happen to be the wrong color/religion/culture/whatever. Stupid. A good friend of mine was a special needs teacher for years. There was a little boy in her class at one point, I'd say he was aroun 10 or so at the time. He was African American and Autistic. He was verbal but only to mimic, still in diapers and would get over stimulated from noise and excitable situations. He lived with a wonderful foster family who really wanted to adopt him. In fact, I believe they had had him for years. They weren't allowed because they were white. Not only had this boy been with them for a long time but with the Autisim, I'm sure it would have been pretty traumatic for him to be transitioned to a completely new family. This was years ago so I'm hoping that when he "aged out" of the system, they did an adult adoption or were able to keep him somehow. To me, you choose the best parents for the child based on their ability to care for the child, their desire to have the child join their family and the basic match requirements (similar lifestyles - active, sports, activities, etc, background checks, physically capable, all of the "usual" stuff) Heck, our difficult child, even though he is also white, looks nothing like us. husband and I are both brown eyed burnettes and difficult child is blond and blue eyed. What's the difference? If you adopt a child from a different race/religion/culture/whatever, you educate yourself. Do what you need to do to educate the child on their background but they are still part of your family. husband and I couldn't give a rat's patootie about a kids skin color if we adopt again. Granted, when we started the process before difficult child, we did decide to limit our choices to white kids. This was [B][U]only[/U][/B] due to the fact of the area we live in. We figured any kid we got would have been through enough and didn't need to have to deal with the idiots we have in this town. Now though, while the idiots are still out there, things have improved. If we were to adopt again, I don't think we would limit ourselves again. Besides....idiots are everywhere and are idiots for various reasons. We all have to learn how to deal with them. [/QUOTE]
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Setting back adoption 100 yrs--rant
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