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The Watercooler
Setting back adoption 100 yrs--rant
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 160032" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p><em>They are morons and I think they are being led by a person with some very deep issues.</em> </p><p></p><p>I agree. Still, they've somehow convinced four national adoption groups to start this whole debate over again. Sigh.</p><p>(I love your note, by the way.)</p><p> </p><p>Nomad, definitely, it pays to be prepared. One thing I did learn from classes we were required to take through private adoption (yes, classes!) was to give the child permission to speak for himself when he's old enough (about 3 or 4). For example, if someone walks up and asks, "Why doesn't he look like you?"</p><p>You turn to the child (since the intruder has rudely ignored the child and talked to the parent) and empower the child by saying, "Carlos, would you like to answer that?" </p><p>If he shakes his head "NO," you turn to the intruder and say, "Well, I guess he doesn't want to talk about it so we'll talk about something else."</p><p>People step back and blink but hey, it works. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p> </p><p>I think empowering the child that way is far more effective than "teaching" potential parents about a culture that they will never embrace. If they were, wouldn't they have done it b4 even considering adoption?</p><p> </p><p>The only thing I would emphasize is to expose your child to positive role models of that child's heritage, rather than allow Hollywood stereotypes to rule. That means you have to make your own friends and step out into the wider world. And that's just common sense.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 160032, member: 3419"] [I]They are morons and I think they are being led by a person with some very deep issues.[/I] I agree. Still, they've somehow convinced four national adoption groups to start this whole debate over again. Sigh. (I love your note, by the way.) Nomad, definitely, it pays to be prepared. One thing I did learn from classes we were required to take through private adoption (yes, classes!) was to give the child permission to speak for himself when he's old enough (about 3 or 4). For example, if someone walks up and asks, "Why doesn't he look like you?" You turn to the child (since the intruder has rudely ignored the child and talked to the parent) and empower the child by saying, "Carlos, would you like to answer that?" If he shakes his head "NO," you turn to the intruder and say, "Well, I guess he doesn't want to talk about it so we'll talk about something else." People step back and blink but hey, it works. :) I think empowering the child that way is far more effective than "teaching" potential parents about a culture that they will never embrace. If they were, wouldn't they have done it b4 even considering adoption? The only thing I would emphasize is to expose your child to positive role models of that child's heritage, rather than allow Hollywood stereotypes to rule. That means you have to make your own friends and step out into the wider world. And that's just common sense. [/QUOTE]
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Setting back adoption 100 yrs--rant
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