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Parent Emeritus
Several questions ~~need input from you all
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<blockquote data-quote="hearthope" data-source="post: 47294" data-attributes="member: 2389"><p>Thank you all. It is so comforting to come here. It is true, no one else could comprehend the feelings that come with having a difficult child and watching the child you love destroy himself.</p><p></p><p>It made no difference when he was 14 so I am sure now at 18 nothing I said to her would matter. I think it was to show her where I stood, that I loved my son and I would not "help" him go down the wrong path and bring to her attention that she was doing just that.</p><p></p><p>I know that it is not her fault that my son is using, she thinks she is helping him in some way. Took me awhile to reach this point, I remember being so angry I wanted to shake her for allowing him to live there!</p><p></p><p>I think I am seeing the bigger picture now. Detachment means that you are able to function and live your life but you will always question every aspect of how you deal with difficult child or how you choose not to.</p><p></p><p>I have thankfully gotten past the hiding in bed, the sleepless nights, the overall feeling of horrible guilt. Yesterday was a reminder of how far I have come, I never lost it, I was caught off guard and working. I will be better prepared in the future.</p><p></p><p>Right now I want to contact her, but I will take the weekend to think it over.</p><p></p><p>I am remembering the conversations of past moms that took him in and most said they regretted not calling me. I know this one is different than the well meaning ones. </p><p></p><p>When difficult child was 14 I can't count how many times we went there to bring him home. That home was forbidden and he was not allowed around her sons. I have never allowed either of her sons to be here. He was also the one here with difficult child when they broke in.</p><p></p><p>Strange as it is, my son made his way to his dads (almost killed me) then now he has made his way to the second worst place.</p><p></p><p>Can't help but wonder how he makes his choices. He found the two most devasting things that I took the biggest stand against.</p><p></p><p>But, I am okay. All of you have helped me so much.</p><p></p><p>I wish I could meet you all and give you the biggest hug for the difference you have made in my life</p><p></p><p> :flower:</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearthope, post: 47294, member: 2389"] Thank you all. It is so comforting to come here. It is true, no one else could comprehend the feelings that come with having a difficult child and watching the child you love destroy himself. It made no difference when he was 14 so I am sure now at 18 nothing I said to her would matter. I think it was to show her where I stood, that I loved my son and I would not "help" him go down the wrong path and bring to her attention that she was doing just that. I know that it is not her fault that my son is using, she thinks she is helping him in some way. Took me awhile to reach this point, I remember being so angry I wanted to shake her for allowing him to live there! I think I am seeing the bigger picture now. Detachment means that you are able to function and live your life but you will always question every aspect of how you deal with difficult child or how you choose not to. I have thankfully gotten past the hiding in bed, the sleepless nights, the overall feeling of horrible guilt. Yesterday was a reminder of how far I have come, I never lost it, I was caught off guard and working. I will be better prepared in the future. Right now I want to contact her, but I will take the weekend to think it over. I am remembering the conversations of past moms that took him in and most said they regretted not calling me. I know this one is different than the well meaning ones. When difficult child was 14 I can't count how many times we went there to bring him home. That home was forbidden and he was not allowed around her sons. I have never allowed either of her sons to be here. He was also the one here with difficult child when they broke in. Strange as it is, my son made his way to his dads (almost killed me) then now he has made his way to the second worst place. Can't help but wonder how he makes his choices. He found the two most devasting things that I took the biggest stand against. But, I am okay. All of you have helped me so much. I wish I could meet you all and give you the biggest hug for the difference you have made in my life [img]:flower:[/img] [/QUOTE]
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Several questions ~~need input from you all
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