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Parent Emeritus
Several questions ~~need input from you all
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<blockquote data-quote="hearthope" data-source="post: 47591" data-attributes="member: 2389"><p>I know your indecisions Janet.</p><p></p><p>One thing that I hold true to is the fact that I know my son completely understands what he is doing that is unacceptable to me.</p><p></p><p>I have seen him one time since I told him this wasn't working, when he drove by and saw me on the back porch and turned his head and kept going.</p><p></p><p>I felt as if I have gone thru a rehab program myself. I was addicted to saving my son from himself. In doing so, I was hurting the other members of my family and just like an addict I was only concerned with my pain and my grief over the loss of my dreams for my son.</p><p></p><p>My husband had dreams of our life together ~ My easy child has her whole future ahead of her and I was giving 100% of myself to "fix" my difficult child son.</p><p></p><p>When I failed to fix him, I turned into a different person. I no longer laughed, I no longer could tolerate family gatherings, I wasn't there for easy child or husband or myself. It was a horrible exsitence.</p><p></p><p>But, since I have totally let go, I can laugh. Most importantly my husband and easy child can laugh. I don't have those anxiety attacks anymore. I can sleep.</p><p></p><p>When I was going back and forth not sure what decisions to make I was miserable and I am sure others thought I was miserable to be around.</p><p></p><p>I feel free. Yes, my son is still on a downward spiral. He is looking at serious jail time. But he is STILL choosing to live that way. He has had every chance to help himself and he continues to repeat the same behavior.</p><p></p><p>We have to let go. Nothing we do or don't do at this point makes a difference. If you call the cops and add more charges what will it help? If you shut the door and focus on your other family members that need you and your self what will that help?</p><p></p><p>I am thankful for getting to this point. I have read others talk about it but I thought for some reason it was unattainable for me.</p><p></p><p>I am okay now even though my son is not</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearthope, post: 47591, member: 2389"] I know your indecisions Janet. One thing that I hold true to is the fact that I know my son completely understands what he is doing that is unacceptable to me. I have seen him one time since I told him this wasn't working, when he drove by and saw me on the back porch and turned his head and kept going. I felt as if I have gone thru a rehab program myself. I was addicted to saving my son from himself. In doing so, I was hurting the other members of my family and just like an addict I was only concerned with my pain and my grief over the loss of my dreams for my son. My husband had dreams of our life together ~ My easy child has her whole future ahead of her and I was giving 100% of myself to "fix" my difficult child son. When I failed to fix him, I turned into a different person. I no longer laughed, I no longer could tolerate family gatherings, I wasn't there for easy child or husband or myself. It was a horrible exsitence. But, since I have totally let go, I can laugh. Most importantly my husband and easy child can laugh. I don't have those anxiety attacks anymore. I can sleep. When I was going back and forth not sure what decisions to make I was miserable and I am sure others thought I was miserable to be around. I feel free. Yes, my son is still on a downward spiral. He is looking at serious jail time. But he is STILL choosing to live that way. He has had every chance to help himself and he continues to repeat the same behavior. We have to let go. Nothing we do or don't do at this point makes a difference. If you call the cops and add more charges what will it help? If you shut the door and focus on your other family members that need you and your self what will that help? I am thankful for getting to this point. I have read others talk about it but I thought for some reason it was unattainable for me. I am okay now even though my son is not [/QUOTE]
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