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Sexual acting out - does it always mean a person was sexually abused?
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 448524"><p>Dash.... I really don't think some one can say she HAD to be sexually abused, certainly that could be ONE reason.... but really adoption issues can be huge in and of themselves... and if she was adopted at 8 months there were some major losses in her short little life at that point that could/were probably traumatic in their own way.</p><p></p><p>My observation is that most kids who are really troubled like those we have on this board either have mental illness OR have experienced some major trauma. Sexual abuse is one form of trauma but adoption also involves trauma. I have also observed that the number of kids who were adopted among really troubled teens is much higher than the percentage of adopted kids in the population. And of course there are other things that can be traumatic to kids that involved majore loss... the death of a parent, divorce etc. And many many kids survive various forms of trauma and function well as teens as well as adults. I also believe there is a genetic component to how resiliant kids are to the experiences they have in life.</p><p></p><p>I have wondered what kind of trauma my son has suffered... he is also adopted, but we got him when he was 3 days old!!! And yet I think he has major adoption issues.... and I think my mother dying when he was 12 was a trigger to a lot of feelings of loss... he was close to my mom and he really felt she loved him uncondtionally.</p><p></p><p>And the other thought I have is that we can drive ourselves crazy trying to figure out why why why do they do the things they do. I have done this with my son along with the if onlys and shoulda couldas..... and in the end it just doesn't help a whole lot. What we hae is the present... and both of us now have adult kids (althougy they act like children a lot of the time) and they must find their own way.... There really is not much we can do except give them help when they are truly ready and truly ask for it.</p><p></p><p>So yes I think your daughter experienced some trauma (maybe just the adoption) but I don't think it had to be sexual abuse. It may be that for some reason via her adoption she felt a male figure loss more than female and so went after the boys for love. Who knows....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 448524"] Dash.... I really don't think some one can say she HAD to be sexually abused, certainly that could be ONE reason.... but really adoption issues can be huge in and of themselves... and if she was adopted at 8 months there were some major losses in her short little life at that point that could/were probably traumatic in their own way. My observation is that most kids who are really troubled like those we have on this board either have mental illness OR have experienced some major trauma. Sexual abuse is one form of trauma but adoption also involves trauma. I have also observed that the number of kids who were adopted among really troubled teens is much higher than the percentage of adopted kids in the population. And of course there are other things that can be traumatic to kids that involved majore loss... the death of a parent, divorce etc. And many many kids survive various forms of trauma and function well as teens as well as adults. I also believe there is a genetic component to how resiliant kids are to the experiences they have in life. I have wondered what kind of trauma my son has suffered... he is also adopted, but we got him when he was 3 days old!!! And yet I think he has major adoption issues.... and I think my mother dying when he was 12 was a trigger to a lot of feelings of loss... he was close to my mom and he really felt she loved him uncondtionally. And the other thought I have is that we can drive ourselves crazy trying to figure out why why why do they do the things they do. I have done this with my son along with the if onlys and shoulda couldas..... and in the end it just doesn't help a whole lot. What we hae is the present... and both of us now have adult kids (althougy they act like children a lot of the time) and they must find their own way.... There really is not much we can do except give them help when they are truly ready and truly ask for it. So yes I think your daughter experienced some trauma (maybe just the adoption) but I don't think it had to be sexual abuse. It may be that for some reason via her adoption she felt a male figure loss more than female and so went after the boys for love. Who knows.... [/QUOTE]
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Sexual acting out - does it always mean a person was sexually abused?
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