sexuality, death, and dressers- update

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Liahona, Sep 3, 2007.

  1. Liahona

    Liahona Active Member

    difficult child 1 asked if he could have a friend over and I (over joyed that someone would come over) said yes. Stupid me. Then I found out that the friend was a girl that difficult child 1 had been letting get in front of him in line every day. O.k. not as good as a guy friend but I'll still let her come over. Then when the day comes I pick her up from school with difficult child 1. She says that difficult child 1 has been writing her love notes. These notes have hearts all over them. And that difficult child 1 loves her. It got worse from there. The first thing they do when we get home is go into his room and shut the door. O.K. most times I'm telling him to keep his door shut so his brothers won't get in there. So, I go in and tell him that for now he needs to have his door open and I'll put up something to keep the babies out. Then difficult child 1 and friend go into the closet. I kick them out of the closet. Then its under the bed. Then they turn the wading pool over to hide under there. ARGHHHH. This is a little girl that drew her self portrait last year crying. I think difficult child 1 has found a target with a low self esteem. After she leaves (thank you that it was a short visit) difficult child 1 starts packing up toys for presents to her. She (or any other girl) isn't coming over again. Tommorrow I get to talk to the teacher about this. I'm not looking forward to it.

    Also, difficult child 1 has been saying he is going to kill himself again. I think its mostly to get a reaction out of me. Still I'm going to tell the therapist and psychiatrist again.

    difficult child 2 has been climbing over everything. This morning I found him on top of his dresser. I had left the top drawer open because difficult child 1 had made himself sick downstairs while I was getting the other kids dressed. I come back upstairs see difficult child 2 standing on the dresser and say "No, climbing!" difficult child 2 then steps into the open drawer making the dresser top heavy. I scream and reach him before the dresser starts tipping. It hasn't been a good morning and the dresser is going to be moved out of their room.
     
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Yikes! I'm thinking the Metadate may be making the poor kid manic/hypersexual. Have you talked about those medications with his psychiatrist? I would be wanting a second opinion--he certainly doesn't seem to be calmed by the Metadate. Has difficult child 1 also been tested for Aspergers by a neuropsychologist? My son is on the Spectrum. 20% of all parents with one kid who has Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) have another with it--it can be mistaken for bipolar. My son had an ADHD and bipolar diagnosis. before he got his Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) diagnosis. At any rate, the medications are clearly NOT working, and I'd definitely keep him away from girls. If you tell the teacher, she may call CPS...Do you feel you need to share with her so she can watch him? I'm paranoid and don't like to share stuff like that...but I would if I felt my child would endanger other kids.
     
  3. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Yikes, and double yikes............
    First of all, I send you many hugs.

    Second of all what is the scoop with your son, medications, and psychiatrist. I know you were adjusting them a bit........but..........I am with MWM, I think something else needs to be done ASAP.

    If he has EOPB, why hasn't the psychiatrist put him on a mood stabilizer? I think I would have a call into him this weekend and let him know all that happened, and demand that his medications be changed so that he is no longer having symptoms of mania and hyper-sexuality. Risperdal is not a mood stabilzer.

    I am concerned that your son will get into legal trouble if this kind of behavior continues - what if it happens at school? Or a place where you are not supervising with sibs or friends?

    Please hang in there. I know it is super, super hard being pregnant on top of it all. Things will get better.

     
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh my! I too am confused why they don't have him on a mood stabilizer if he is dxd as Early Onset Bi-Polar (EOBP). I agree with-WW about calling the psychiatrist and letting him know the behaviors you are seeing. Hugs.
     
  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    into his room and shut the door. O.K. most times I'm telling him to keep his door shut so his brothers won't get in there. So, I go in and tell him that for now he needs to have his door open and I'll put up something to keep the babies out. Then difficult child 1 and friend go into the closet. I kick them out of the closet. Then its under the bed. Then they turn the wading pool over to hide under there.

    What determination!

    And the 2-yr-old on top of the dresser! I put my difficult child in a bed at a little over 1 for that reason ... he would stand on top of the crib to jump and he had a wood floor. If I didn't hate emergency rooms so much, I would have let him, just to teach him a lesson, LOL! So, he was safer in his bed, but no one got any sleep. I'm not sure which is worse.

     
  6. Liahona

    Liahona Active Member

    Well, I called the psychiatrist who doesn't think this is a mania behavior and doesn't think its related to his medicine. He said he was calling DCFS. This psychiatrist has only seen difficult child 1 twice. He doesn't think it is a mania behavior because difficult child 1 doesn't do the same stuff at school that he does at home. I and the therapist (who has seen difficult child 1 for years) disagree with him. therapist was surprized that psychiatrist called DCFS because this is part of bipolar. I pointed out to psychiatrist that these regular mood swings started when we increased the Risperdal. Before we increased it he would have mood swings but they weren't predictable. Now he is manic in the morning, depressed during the day, and manic at night. I told psychiatrist the behaviors I was seeing at home and why I thought the way I did. I don't think he heard me. I talked psychiatrist into dropping the Metadate. Next I'm going to talk about the Risperdal. Maybe with a different psychiatrist. I don't want difficult child 1 on an ADHD medication without something else to stop it from sending him over the top manic. That is why I tackled the Metadate with the psychiatrist first. I feel like I've had an argument with him.

    I contacted the principal and teacher. They were very supportive and agreed to watch difficult child 1 like a hawk and to send him to a different teacher's room when ever there is a sub. difficult child 1 has some new rules. No love notes, no gifts (except on Christmas and birthdays), and he can't be alone in a room with a girl. These rules are for all girls he knows. I've contacted my lawyer about this, but haven't heard back from him yet. I'm going to call him tommorrow. I need to know my rights and what his advice is on ex. I called the girls mom and talked with her. She doesn't think anything was weird about difficult child 1's behavior. I don't understand that, but I'm glad she isn't mad at me or difficult child 1.

    When we saw psychiatrist last I told him about difficult child 1's suicide statements. Then psychiatrist agreed with what therapist had told me that I should acknowledge the feelings difficult child 1 was having, but difficult child 1 still had to have the consequence or chore that he was upset about. Now, when I called him last, he said that I should've taken difficult child 1 to the er right then. If I do this the number of suicide comments will skyrocket. difficult child 1 is doing it to get out of stuff and you can't do the dishes when you're sitting in the er watching their tv waiting for them to see you. Plus, I don't think they would admit a happy smiling kid because his mom says he made a suicide statement.

    I'll keep you updated. I haven't heard from DCFS yet.
     
  7. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    I'd say it's time for a new psychiatrist. Why is he calling DCFS? I don't understand that.
     
  8. Liahona

    Liahona Active Member

    He wouldn't tell me. He wouldn't tell me much of what why he was doing things. He would say that he didn't think it was medicine related or because of manic behavior. He was against stopping the Metadate. He said that if I stop it then difficult child 1 would have problems at school. I'm just worried about looking like I'm just going to doctors who tell me what I want to hear. Its one of the questions I've asked my lawyer.
     
  9. neednewtechnique

    neednewtechnique New Member

    Just as a side-note, I am not sure Either, why psychiatrist would be calling DCFS....another thing, too...I have had experiences with Risperadol (some quack put me on this medication by accident) for about three months before we realized the mistake, and I belive that I went through hyper-sexuality as a side-effect of Risperadol. I know you guys mentioned it coming from the Metadate, but maybe it can be a side-effect of both????
     
  10. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    It might be time to do a search on the treatment protocol for Early Onset Bi-Polar (EOBP) as sugested by the whoever board certifies psychiatrists. I did find that if medication protocols were done differently than recommended, printing out the protocol and asking the psychiatrist why we didn't have a medication in this class (mood stabilizer or anti-psychotic or whatever) if it was the first line of treatment?? Gently, curiously asking why. NOT mean or alienating, just curious to understand my kiddo and his challenges asking.

    A notebook and lots of notetaking during this makes it more academic and many psychiatrists that I personally have takine my kids to see missed the "What are you trying to pull on me??" that I truly meant. If you have access to his email, sending an email thanking him for making you understand clearly that X is the reason why we did not use this kind of medication when it was recommended can help make sure you really do understand. A letter sent can also help, but is slower than email. You may never see a response to the email, or it may be at your next appointment. But it can make the docs think about WHY, and help you understand.

    I also use this with my docs, as often I am stressed and fuzzy during an appointment.

    Someone around here will know who the organization is that certifies the "Board Certified Child and Adol psychiatrists" is. I just can't remember - long day.

    Hugs!!
     
  11. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    You're perfectly within your rights to find a doctor you can have a good working relationship with and it doesn't sound like current psychiatrist is the one. I understand your concerns, though, with DCFS. It makes me wonder if he's threatening to call them to get you to do what he wants. THAT would make my blood boil. AND it would make me file a complaint with the state medical board.

    in my opinion, it's completely unprofessional to say this behavior is not related to the medications when he's only seen difficult child twice and is not personally witnessing the behavior. Besides that, he's given difficult child a diagnosis of Early Onset Bi-Polar (EOBP) with no mood stabilizer, but a stimulant. Time to move on.
     
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