Share good news + vacation

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by hearthope, May 31, 2007.

  1. hearthope

    hearthope New Member

    I debated on sharing this. I think someone may need to hear it ~

    I have spent the last four yrs in a depressing cloud. As I just shared in another thread I had to seek prof. help with my depression. I have hung on by a thread as my difficult child broke my heart over and over and over...

    I want to share that today I shared his picture with a customer. She asked me where he was? college, service,where? I said he is going down the wrong path. She looked shocked, then very sweetly replied oh honey he will come back. I said I know in his own time. I didn't cry. I didn't start shaking. I was fine.

    For those of you that are in the place I was in, I want to give you hope that the detaching that everyone recommends does change you. I not too long ago replaced the pictures of difficult child on the walls. I could not look at all the crushed dreams, it was too much for me to see him when he was okay now that he is not.

    Each day I am a stronger person. I realize it took yrs for me to get to the place I was in and it will take a long time for me to recover, but I never thought I would make it where I am now.

    My difficult child has a ct date june 7. My husband, easy child and I are leaving for a vacation on june 3 and won't return till late on june 7 .

    We have not had a vacation in 4 yrs. I have not been able to function well enough with difficult child or to leave difficult child to go anywhere.



    There is hope...... Peace does come....


    I will miss you all!
     
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    HH...I so know what you mean. I was talking to one of my old coworkers today Cory while Billy was in for his interview and she just shook her head at all he is doing. She knows we tried. She saw so much of what I did all those years ago. She sat in an office with me. Then Jamie called and I was giving him the low down and he pointed out that if I listened to what I was saying and didnt think about it as being MY son, it would sound like I was talking about some crack head. He is right.

    We get calls from neighbors telling us where they see him and what they see him doing. Ok...thanks for the heads up. Like I want to know. LOL.

    It is becoming easier and easier for me to go on in my little world without him being a part of it. I have on final thing to do though. I need to buy some life insurance on him. Then I can just move on and wait for the knock on the door.
     
  3. hearthope

    hearthope New Member

    Janet there is always hope that they will change.


    I am thankful that I finally realized we all don't have to be miserable because one of our children chooses to go down the wrong path.


    Thinking of you.


    These cory's are something else!
     
  4. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Grandpa

    HH, have a wonderful vacation trip. And thank you for the uplifting words.
     
  5. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    cory, ant, put a name in the blank. remember how long it tookus to even decide on a name for that baby??? lol

    enjoy your vacation. peace, woman!
     
  6. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    HH--I've been waiting for you to hit this point. Now, you need to understand you will still have bad days---mine are fewer and fewer these days. And they don't effect my whole life. I have found that hiding the truth only made me angry and bitter and resentful. I tell the truth---not for pity---don't need that---but to spread awareness. People know me, have known my family for years, and if I have a son who is going down the wrong path, then maybe not all troubled kids come from a broken home with bad parents who don't care. The truth is that troubled kids come from a variety of backgrounds---we need to recognize that and begin to work within our communites to combat the ignorance that exits. I'm proud of you.
     
  7. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Amen, katmom. Every word.

    HH- I remember the first time I was given "permission" to <u>not</u> focus all of my attention on Rob and to have a life of my own. It was a revelation! Like katmom said, you will have down days every now and again. But it gets easier.

    I'm delighted to hear that you are taking a vacation. Great step forward!

    Suz
     
  8. KFld

    KFld New Member

    I'm glad to hear you are going on vacation, and I'm even happier to hear that you are really learning how to detatch. Once you discover that it's really o.k. to go on with your life, it's like a huge weight has been lifted off your shoulders.

    I'm so glad you are reaching this point in your life.

    Have a wonderful vacation!!! Where are you going by the way? I hope somewhere really good.
     
  9. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    HH, I too agree with what Katmom says. I do the same and people are generally kind. I am glad you are doing better and happy that you and yours are finally getting a well deserved vacation. I hope you have a blast! -RM
     
  10. hearthope

    hearthope New Member

    Thank you all so much.

    You have all been right here the whole time guiding me.

    I bet there were many times when you just wanted to say :hammer: already!!lol


    I do feel like a huge weight has been lifted off me! I can think of him and let it go now ~ the thoughts don't control my life any longer.


    Karen ~ I searched for three nights to find a pet friendly beach around our area. We are going to Dauphin Island and taking three of our furkids. We are all excited because it has been so long since we have gone away.


    *Now that mom is okay, husband and easy child have come back alive. I almost allowed difficult child to destroy our family.

    Thanks again to you all. You all were there at the darkest times trying to show me the light.
     
  11. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    HH

    between what I read in this thread, and what I read in the "out of control 15 YO" thread, all's I can say is way to go. You got it.

    :warrior:
     
  12. Scent of Cedar I

    Scent of Cedar I New Member

    It's been a long time, but you are back, now. :smile:

    I am happy to hear that your family has come back together.

    Living through something like this is hellish, isn't it.

    On the beach with the dogs ~ what could be better?!?

    Have a wonderful time.

    Barbara

    :smile:
     
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