Sharing diagnosis with ghg

[Malika]

Some things in life are serious and deserve to be treated seriously. Others need a lightness of touch... I don't think people who tell their children about Santa and the tooth fairy are "lying" or are doing anything reprehensible. It doesn't really matter... it's a bit of harmless fun. For myself, though, which is all I can say, I do not feel comfortable pretending that something like this is real. At the same time, if others tell J about it and he believes it, I'm not really concerned. I would be concerned about other things.

 

[keista]

What are you all saying????????? Santa, Easter Bunny - not real?????? Noooooooooo

Do I have to post "Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Clause" for all of you?

My girls are 10 and 8 and still firm believers. Son stopped believing a few years ago but does a FANTASTIC job of playing along for their benefit.

Malika, I sometimes forget you son is just 4. Yes, at 4, behavioral/psychological/whatever symptoms can be very ambiguous, but it doesn't change the fact that when something is "wrong" with a child, it's no different than a physical problem.

 

[ready2run]

mine was only 4 when i explained it to him. i don't know if he got it at the time or not but at the time it was obvious to anyone who met him that something was wrong with him. i think it's good that he knew from then because there was never a surprise or a question of why didn't i tell him. he just knew it as a fact about himself, like as if i had said "you're eyes are green." even at almost 7 now i don't think he really knows the full impact of what it means but he sure knows that everyone is different and that it's okay.

 

[Malika]

Yes, that's the thing, ready2run, and it's why everything is always so individual and generalisations of not much value, perhaps. There isn't anything that is so markedly "different" about my son that it is obvious to him and everyone else. Now is the school holidays in France and he is going every day to the activity centre that is held in the next village - they make things, play games, have fun. J socialises fine, he likes going there, the staff always seem very fond of him. I am sure they would say he is rumbunctious and full of energy but I think they would be surprised if I said there was an "issue". However, what I suspect is that at school - I hope I'm wrong, but fear I won't be - the learning difficulties will become more and more apparent and that is where there will be a real issue and a need for explanations and discussion.

 

[DammitJanet]

Lots of us have explained to our kids how while they are unique and everyone has different issues to deal with that there are other people who have had the same types of issues that they have who have gone on to live very rich and full lives. Bill Gates and Steve Jobs are thought to have Aspergers. There are whole lists of people who have different diagnosis's that you can give as examples. I cant think of them off the top of my head.

 

[InsaneCdn]

However, what I suspect is that at school - I hope I'm wrong, but fear I won't be - the learning difficulties will become more and more apparent and that is where there will be a real issue and a need for explanations and discussion.

The more you can keep the lines of communication open, and be honest about what you currently know... the better chance you have that he will give you important clues as to what is going on at school... which will make it easier for you to advocate for him. Its a positive-circle (opposite of vicious-circle). The more he can communicate, the earlier you can intervene. Early intervention makes a WORLD of difference... for ANY disability.