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<blockquote data-quote="mstang67chic" data-source="post: 91446" data-attributes="member: 2459"><p>Hugs. </p><p></p><p>You know, I always see these articles and things on Nurture vs. Nature and I don't know how much stock I put into the theorys. I've seen people who never should have had kids raise children who turned out to be wonderful, law abiding members of society and I've seen great parents have kids who turned out to be jerks. I myself was raised by good hearted parents who had issues with alcohol, drugs and domestic abuse. While I do smoke ciggies, I don't do drugs, rarely drink and would nail husband to the wall should he ever lay a finger on me. (Not that he would, just saying)</p><p></p><p>While I do think that the atmosphere a person is raised in does affect them in some way, I think that in the end, a lot of it is up to the individual. You've done what you can to give your son the right tools to live a productive life. It's up to him to pick up those tools and use them. If he chooses to leave them out in the rain to rust, so to speak, that's up to him. It's sad, heartbreaking and a waste of potential but it's still his choice. At the same time though, he's still walking the Earth and still has opportunities to pick up those tools again. It may take work to clean the rust off, but if he chooses, he can do it. </p><p></p><p>I know you're hurting but you are right. You've done what you can, the rest is up to him. I would't make a big secret out of it with your family either. Not that you should make a big announcement but if someone asks.......well, they asked, you answer. Anyone who knows you is going to know that you didn't teach him to steal or drive him to the computer store so he could break in. You never know....while they may not understand, by including others in the loop, you may just find more support than you knew you had.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mstang67chic, post: 91446, member: 2459"] Hugs. You know, I always see these articles and things on Nurture vs. Nature and I don't know how much stock I put into the theorys. I've seen people who never should have had kids raise children who turned out to be wonderful, law abiding members of society and I've seen great parents have kids who turned out to be jerks. I myself was raised by good hearted parents who had issues with alcohol, drugs and domestic abuse. While I do smoke ciggies, I don't do drugs, rarely drink and would nail husband to the wall should he ever lay a finger on me. (Not that he would, just saying) While I do think that the atmosphere a person is raised in does affect them in some way, I think that in the end, a lot of it is up to the individual. You've done what you can to give your son the right tools to live a productive life. It's up to him to pick up those tools and use them. If he chooses to leave them out in the rain to rust, so to speak, that's up to him. It's sad, heartbreaking and a waste of potential but it's still his choice. At the same time though, he's still walking the Earth and still has opportunities to pick up those tools again. It may take work to clean the rust off, but if he chooses, he can do it. I know you're hurting but you are right. You've done what you can, the rest is up to him. I would't make a big secret out of it with your family either. Not that you should make a big announcement but if someone asks.......well, they asked, you answer. Anyone who knows you is going to know that you didn't teach him to steal or drive him to the computer store so he could break in. You never know....while they may not understand, by including others in the loop, you may just find more support than you knew you had. [/QUOTE]
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