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She is just so hard to love
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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 201614" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>Have you heard what my easy child is working on? About one month ago, I was so disgusted with her when I overheard her complaining about difficult child and me to a friend on the phone. So, I went in to her room and said, "That is it! I have had it with you! You have no right to talk like that about me or difficult child. You are no longer allowed to ask me for anything until you can go one month being nice to me."</p><p> </p><p>The very next day, "Mom, if you I put some shirts aside, will you come pay for them?" "No, You are not to ask anything of me until you can be nice to me for one month." Not even 1/2 hour later, "Mom, I found a pair of cute shoes." "No, You are not to ask anything of me until you can be nice to me for one month." "But Mom, they will not be on sale in a month." "No, You are not to ask anything of me until you can be nice to me for one month." "But Mom" Click (that is me hanging up on her).</p><p></p><p>She made it for almost 1 week and was actually respectful on one of those days (see, being nice doesn't just include no bad words, but to also be respectful in everyday things.) One slip so the month started over.</p><p> </p><p>It lasted about 2 - 3 weeks and then a major set back. She was so angry when I reminded her that the month was starting again that she added a few more lovely words to the mix and said she didn't care.</p><p> </p><p>Her newest date is Nov 2nd. She has been much more civil toward me and the non-lovely words are no longer heard. So it is working for us.</p><p> </p><p>I feel that your daughter has a deeper level of disrespect that my daughter has. Maybe setting some very very strict rules may help. Post the times of meals - put in writing even though she is suppose to know them. State there will be no asking of ANYTHING until certain things are accomplished.</p><p></p><p>Don't count on her moving out at 18. My daughter was also going to be out the door midnight of the day she turned 18 but it did not happen. I think she realized that rent is hard to pay when you don't have an income.</p><p> </p><p>I think your daughter has gotten to the point that you need to address this before the next angry conflict. If you do it out of anger of the moment, it will not have importance but if you present it sternly without a fresh incident attached, it will go futher. This is the way it is because of how things are not because of the newest problem.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 201614, member: 5096"] Have you heard what my easy child is working on? About one month ago, I was so disgusted with her when I overheard her complaining about difficult child and me to a friend on the phone. So, I went in to her room and said, "That is it! I have had it with you! You have no right to talk like that about me or difficult child. You are no longer allowed to ask me for anything until you can go one month being nice to me." The very next day, "Mom, if you I put some shirts aside, will you come pay for them?" "No, You are not to ask anything of me until you can be nice to me for one month." Not even 1/2 hour later, "Mom, I found a pair of cute shoes." "No, You are not to ask anything of me until you can be nice to me for one month." "But Mom, they will not be on sale in a month." "No, You are not to ask anything of me until you can be nice to me for one month." "But Mom" Click (that is me hanging up on her). She made it for almost 1 week and was actually respectful on one of those days (see, being nice doesn't just include no bad words, but to also be respectful in everyday things.) One slip so the month started over. It lasted about 2 - 3 weeks and then a major set back. She was so angry when I reminded her that the month was starting again that she added a few more lovely words to the mix and said she didn't care. Her newest date is Nov 2nd. She has been much more civil toward me and the non-lovely words are no longer heard. So it is working for us. I feel that your daughter has a deeper level of disrespect that my daughter has. Maybe setting some very very strict rules may help. Post the times of meals - put in writing even though she is suppose to know them. State there will be no asking of ANYTHING until certain things are accomplished. Don't count on her moving out at 18. My daughter was also going to be out the door midnight of the day she turned 18 but it did not happen. I think she realized that rent is hard to pay when you don't have an income. I think your daughter has gotten to the point that you need to address this before the next angry conflict. If you do it out of anger of the moment, it will not have importance but if you present it sternly without a fresh incident attached, it will go futher. This is the way it is because of how things are not because of the newest problem. [/QUOTE]
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