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Substance Abuse
She is still drinking
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 550661" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>The therapist gave you a really good answer,she has a plan for your difficult child. Now you and your husband have to have a plan. I don't know, perhaps what needs to be done first is for you and your husband to take a time out. That is what I learned in a parenting class I recently took, they told us, all timeouts are parent timeouts. I thought that was funny. However, maybe a weekend away, or a day at the beach or a leisurely dinner where you have no interruptions and you are not in your usual place. When relaxed ask yourselves what do you want, and what are you willing to do WITHOUT resentments. Open all the doors of your mind and think in terms of possibilities, not realities. Just kind of a playful exercise to elicit new ideas to surface. It can be a fun exercise. Just throw things out there no matter how outlandish, with what you REALLY want and desire for your difficult child and for you. It's using your imagination to produce alternative options in a lighthearted way. And, you get time to spend with your husband. I learned this from reading about Einstein and how when he got stuck he would take a nap or do something completely different to open his mind for new ideas. It works. </p><p></p><p>In the other real world, on a more practical note, you might try writing a list of pros and cons for the options you have thought of. And decide what you really are willing to do without resentment. That part is the key, the without resentments. I think when we deal with people with mental issues, we really have to make it up as we go along, there isn't a book which gives you the answers, we have to create them ourselves. I went down a lot of roads with my family members and each incident, although difficult, offered new insights and information which then prepared me for the next step. </p><p></p><p>Do you want to allow her to continue living with you? If so under what guidelines and rules? If not, what are the options you can live with? The therapist gave you a good lead in with, what can't you tolerate? What don't you like? What don't you want" The therapist is going to help difficult child learn to live with the choices you and others make, so it seems it's really time to make choices, figure out what it is exactly you can live with and what you can't. What can you accept? What is unacceptable? It's a process, there isn't a right way or a wrong way, I think you just follow the various clues in front of you and at some point, you arrive at a place which feels right and comfortable. Sometimes things just blow up because it's time for the next step. Seems like that just happened for all of you. (((HUGS))) I know how you feel, I do. Hang in there, it'll all reveal itself to you...........</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 550661, member: 13542"] The therapist gave you a really good answer,she has a plan for your difficult child. Now you and your husband have to have a plan. I don't know, perhaps what needs to be done first is for you and your husband to take a time out. That is what I learned in a parenting class I recently took, they told us, all timeouts are parent timeouts. I thought that was funny. However, maybe a weekend away, or a day at the beach or a leisurely dinner where you have no interruptions and you are not in your usual place. When relaxed ask yourselves what do you want, and what are you willing to do WITHOUT resentments. Open all the doors of your mind and think in terms of possibilities, not realities. Just kind of a playful exercise to elicit new ideas to surface. It can be a fun exercise. Just throw things out there no matter how outlandish, with what you REALLY want and desire for your difficult child and for you. It's using your imagination to produce alternative options in a lighthearted way. And, you get time to spend with your husband. I learned this from reading about Einstein and how when he got stuck he would take a nap or do something completely different to open his mind for new ideas. It works. In the other real world, on a more practical note, you might try writing a list of pros and cons for the options you have thought of. And decide what you really are willing to do without resentment. That part is the key, the without resentments. I think when we deal with people with mental issues, we really have to make it up as we go along, there isn't a book which gives you the answers, we have to create them ourselves. I went down a lot of roads with my family members and each incident, although difficult, offered new insights and information which then prepared me for the next step. Do you want to allow her to continue living with you? If so under what guidelines and rules? If not, what are the options you can live with? The therapist gave you a good lead in with, what can't you tolerate? What don't you like? What don't you want" The therapist is going to help difficult child learn to live with the choices you and others make, so it seems it's really time to make choices, figure out what it is exactly you can live with and what you can't. What can you accept? What is unacceptable? It's a process, there isn't a right way or a wrong way, I think you just follow the various clues in front of you and at some point, you arrive at a place which feels right and comfortable. Sometimes things just blow up because it's time for the next step. Seems like that just happened for all of you. (((HUGS))) I know how you feel, I do. Hang in there, it'll all reveal itself to you........... [/QUOTE]
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