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She needs to stop getting physical with me
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 536134" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Idohope, sounds familiar! My son used to do that, and now he doesn't hit me, but when he's really ramped up, he will still block me, and speak loudly and close to my face so he's spitting while he talks. I have to keep my cell ph in my pocket and lock doors behind me to get peace sometimes.</p><p>What we did was find something that totally rocked him out of his skin, and then once we followed through, used that as a threat. For example, I have called the police, and he has been in the psychiatric hospital, and while I hate to use the psychiatric hospital as a threat, quite frankly, if I'm scared, I'll say pretty much anything to get him away from me. Mostly, I just pull out my cell ph and start typing and he stops.</p><p>However, we spent mo's in therapy and I had to practice with-him at home, and he is much, much better. I had to teach myself not to escalate (I'm claustrophobic) and when he was spitting on me and yelling, I had to calmly say, "This is what we talked about with-Dr. R. You are too close. You must be an arm's length away. Then I will listen to you."</p><p>Mostly, he just wants to be heard, and he's filled with-anxiety. </p><p>That's what I see coming from your daughter, too. </p><p>Last night, for ex, I gave my son 1/2 a clonidine and told him I wouldn't listen to his issues until after he had taken the pill and given my ph back (he had knocked it out of my hand). I don't know if your daughter is into negotiating, but my son was born with-a set of lawbooks in his arms! LOVES to argue and negotiate!</p><p></p><p>The main thing is that if you threaten, you've got to follow through.</p><p>That way, the next time, you probably won't have to follow through ... just mention it, and the behavior stops. The kids are still ramped up, but they are reining it in, at least.</p><p>Is she on medications? Can you give her something as a prn when she ramps up?</p><p>Is there another way to phrase things so she doesn't ramp up as much? Or talk to her 2 days in advance instead of the night before? Or would she have an anxiety fit no matter what?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 536134, member: 3419"] Idohope, sounds familiar! My son used to do that, and now he doesn't hit me, but when he's really ramped up, he will still block me, and speak loudly and close to my face so he's spitting while he talks. I have to keep my cell ph in my pocket and lock doors behind me to get peace sometimes. What we did was find something that totally rocked him out of his skin, and then once we followed through, used that as a threat. For example, I have called the police, and he has been in the psychiatric hospital, and while I hate to use the psychiatric hospital as a threat, quite frankly, if I'm scared, I'll say pretty much anything to get him away from me. Mostly, I just pull out my cell ph and start typing and he stops. However, we spent mo's in therapy and I had to practice with-him at home, and he is much, much better. I had to teach myself not to escalate (I'm claustrophobic) and when he was spitting on me and yelling, I had to calmly say, "This is what we talked about with-Dr. R. You are too close. You must be an arm's length away. Then I will listen to you." Mostly, he just wants to be heard, and he's filled with-anxiety. That's what I see coming from your daughter, too. Last night, for ex, I gave my son 1/2 a clonidine and told him I wouldn't listen to his issues until after he had taken the pill and given my ph back (he had knocked it out of my hand). I don't know if your daughter is into negotiating, but my son was born with-a set of lawbooks in his arms! LOVES to argue and negotiate! The main thing is that if you threaten, you've got to follow through. That way, the next time, you probably won't have to follow through ... just mention it, and the behavior stops. The kids are still ramped up, but they are reining it in, at least. Is she on medications? Can you give her something as a prn when she ramps up? Is there another way to phrase things so she doesn't ramp up as much? Or talk to her 2 days in advance instead of the night before? Or would she have an anxiety fit no matter what? [/QUOTE]
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She needs to stop getting physical with me
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