She redefines "lazy"

[Big Bad Kitty]

So I just cleared out 5 big bags of junk from Tink's BR.

Her choice was to pick up (I said I would help) or anything not put away was mine.

She stated outright that she would rather me take her stuff than for her to have to put it away.

She has the opportunity to earn stuff back. I really wonder if it will be an "out of sight, out of mind" thing. She still has a ton of stuff in her room. Something tells me that she just won't miss it. Which is fine with me. She has too much junk anyways.

Oh, I managed to take all her makeup. Whoops.

 

[Lothlorien]

been there done that Many, many, many times. Did it make a difference? Not really. Let me know if it works with you. Missy has lost all of her arts and crafts stuff and lots and lots of other things, too.

 

[klmno]

My method was to tell difficult child to straighten his room and find a place for things. Anything left on the floor (not like a big toy that had no place else to go) would be swept up and thrown away. It didn't solve the problem either.

 

[Star*]

My sad little room pickup story -

Dude and I had moved into our 1st own house. WE had nothing. And when people find out you have NOTHING they want to GIVE and GIVE and GIVE. And some of the stuff doesn't match - it's broken, needs sewn or has parts missing, but to tell a child with so little that you have to throw that away is near impossible. Stuff is stuff.

After about a year of living there - I looked in his room and thought - TOMORROW is the day. I told Dude to clean the room (I also offered assistance). He said "later" and left to play with kids.

So I waited until the next day - and gave him one more opportunity - to clean or it goes. He said "Later." and I got a trash bag. I filled 2 trash bags with broken, missing, torn, used, junk and a few good toys that he played with occasionally. WHen i was done - I put it in my spare room but fully meant for him to earn it back.

I really wanted him to think that his stuff was going to the curb. That night - I hid our garbage in the spare room too - and grabbed 2 bags and proceeded out to the curb.

The next morning - Dude heard the trash truck and ran out to see them crushing his toys. He came back in broken hearted and crying, saying he would have cleaned his room - and I said "WELL......I'll give you a chance to EARN some of it back." and proudly marched into the spare room - and grabbed 2 bags of .............

TRASH.

I REALLY HAD thrown out his toys. OMG I was mortified. I was in tears. Dude on the other hand - had taken me seriously and already had gotten OVER watching his toys go to the crusher - and I thought - OMG I am the worst mom EVER.

I did not throw EVERYTHING out - but somehow - the stuff I kept was the good stuff.

I learned a lesson trying to teach a lesson that day - and from that day on - instead of throwing it out - or earning it back - we learned how to share and took it to the Salvation Army.

At one point with less junk in his room Dude told me his head was more clear and didn't feel cramped up.

Just be careful where you put those bags BBK -

 

[Hound dog]

BBK

I've been there done that too many times. Mine stopped getting the chance to earn there stuff back. It either got sold, given to shelters or tossed out.

Star I remember you telling us about that. That would've been something that would happen to me. Except I had no where to store it once I bagged it. It had to go, a decision had to be made.

Although Travis still won't let me forget when I put all of his Star Trek stuff into the yard sale. I had a dealer trying to pay me a small fortune. It was tempting. Travis had all the Star Trek toys thanks to mother in law, including the much saught after bridge and transporter and engine rooms.

Instead I sold it to a young boy who I'd pegged for AS after about 5 mins in his presence who had thought he'd died and gone to heaven when he saw Travis' collection. He'd been wanting the toys forever but his grandparents who were raising him couldn't afford to buy them. Once the dealer stomped off to his car, I sold them to the boy for a steal. And his gradmother came back another day to thank us for making her grandson so happy.

So I don't let Travis guilt me. lol I just remind him of that boy who I am sure got as much pleasure from the toys as he had.

by the way, Travis is rebuilding his collection. He just bought the bridge.....and you don't want to know how much he paid for it. ugh

 

[meowbunny]

Another been there done that and still doing it. She's now had 2 months to get the rest of her stuff from her room. Hasn't happened yet. Guess her new down comforter is now mine.

I gave up on letting her earn things back. Goodwill loved me!

 

[katya02]

My daughter has told me she actually feels relieved when I go into her room and clear out all the 'stuff' - she gets into a state of complete disorganization. If only she would figure out that she can do this herself!!

difficult child 2 is another story. If he knows I've been in his room, he accuses me of taking everything he loses track of over the next six months.

 

[mstang67chic]

I've done that to difficult child's room once. Now that he's older, he goes in stages, bouncing between total slobiness and everything neat. When he was about 11 though, I waited till he was gone for two weeks and went to work. It took me two days and I filled I don't know how many trash bags. It was almost literally like a foot and a half of mulch in his room with all the paper, clothes, broken toys, etc. Certain things I salvaged but most of it I pitched. There were so many little pieces from different things...not too much of it was complete so if I didn't find it all it went in the trash. The only thing he really minded that I pitched though were the Playboy magazine pages and the nekkid women drawings that he had. (But that's a whole other post! LOL)

 

[witzend]

Well, I did that many times. But I threw away the broken toys and bits and bobs. And, I made a place for the others. M's room was so small there was barely room for the bed and the dresser.

I guess I'm just mean...

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

Loth - her arts and crafts are next! Since her room is very small, one of our hall closets (which is huge) is her "den". You can't see the floor in there because it is covered with papers, crayons, folders, etc.

KLMNO - we will see if this actually works.

Starbie - I remember having read that story once before. I know, your heart just broke! Funny how he was over it already...

Lisa, if this child possessed an ounce of empathy, I would donate her stuff in a second just to teach a lesson. I mean, I may end up donating it anyways, but she is not capable of seeing that she is doing any good. Once when she was complaining that she had "nothing", I pulled up pics on the internet of kids in 3rd world countries who REALLY had nothing. She got agitated and said "Why are you talking about this? You are trying to make it look like I am a big jerk!" Uh, if the shoe fits...

MB, my mom STILL has stuff of Copper's, and she moved out over 2 years ago! Not in my house...

Katya, I think that there is a part of Tink that really is relieved when I clear out her stuff. She has SO MUCH cr@p that it becomes one big junk pile to her, and nothing is special.

Mustang, thankfully Tink did not have any nekkid magazines. Although I have a feeling it won't be long.

Witz, if I ever get the energy, that is exactly what I want to do. Get rid of all the mismatches. Every weekend that she is with her dad I tell myself that I will do it, and then the weekend slips away...

 

[KTMom91]

Coming in late, but...when Miss KT was about Tink's age, and either at Useless Boy's or Grandma's for the weekend, I purged her room. I sorted, cleaned, tossed, moved furniture, and when she got home, it was "just like a brand new room!" and she loved it.