She relapsed

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Nancy, Sep 7, 2011.

  1. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I don't know the details and dont want to but I suspected this weeks ago. I believe she got kicked out of the first sober house and that's why she moved to the new one. I also know she almost got kicked out of that one this weekend. I believe she has been relapsing for weeks. She is involved with some guy who I think has been instrumental in her relapse and many of her support group have warned her about him but she is still involved.

    Her car was broken into last week, the window shattered and her gps stolen. She knew where to find me then and stupidly I gave her the money to have the window fixed. I was still trying to deny that the signs I was seeing were there.

    She still has her job but I have no faith that she will be able to keep it. She's not telling to us much and although we texted a bit the past couple days I know most of what she said was a lie and I really don't want to know much else. She is estranged from all of her friends from the first sober house. Obviously they know what's going on.

  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Oh, Nancy... :hugs:
  3. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry, Nancy.
  4. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    So so sorry, nancy. Will hold you in my thoughts
  5. FlowerGarden

    FlowerGarden Active Member

    Hugs to you. I hope she pulls herself together again.
  6. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    Oh Nancy. When I first saw this post, it was on my Blackberry and so I couldn't see who started the thread. I was praying it was not you...... :(

    Prayers your way and lots of (((HUGS)))......
  7. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    I'm so sorry. As best as you are able, try to resist calling yourself "stupid." You are a strong, smart woman. You have been through hexx and back. You are doing the best anyone could do under profoundly difficult circumstances. If you believe you made an error, well just learn for next time. No one could possibly have this "stuff" perfect.

    Surely, you are disappointed...but let it be strictly with her choices/behaviors.

    Your life moves on and there really is so much to look forward to even with her "stuff" looming in the background....the DISTANT BACKGROUND.

    Prayers and good thoughts that she "gets it" and "gets it" soon....but PLEASE don't let her bad choices hold your happiness back.
  8. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I'm sure you know how sorry I am. This is such a stinkin' life and the rollercoaster is nauseating! You've got my most supportive thoughts and hugs. Darn it! Keep repeating the Serenity Prayer. DDD
  9. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    I am so sorry Nancy... as you have said to me... hopefully she has learned a lot in her rehab and will remember it and will not stay relapsed as long and will use the tools she has gotten. And definitely don't beat yourself up for trying to help her when she thought she needed it. Now you know and just go from here. We are all on a roller coaster ride it seems.... I am going to update on another thread.


  10. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

  11. elizabrary

    elizabrary Member

    I'm sorry Nancy :sorrysmiley:Try and take care of yourself and focus on you. I know how much it sucks- sending positive energy your way!
  12. Star*

    Star* call 911 could just be the last hoorah before maturity. Sending hugs.
  13. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry, Nancy.
  14. dashcat

    dashcat Member

    I am so very sorry. How heartbreaking it must be for you (and for her, too) to have seen such progress, such hope...only to have the demon rise up again. May the strength that carried her as far as she has come (and she has come far), return to her.

    In the meantime....Serenity Prayer, my friend....

  15. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I'm so very sorry Nancy. I know this has to be particularly hard after how well she was doing.

    I saw the post title and my stomach hit the floor.

    I will keep her in my prayers and like Star pray that this is just the last hoorah before maturity kicks in.

  16. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Grandpa

    So sorry to read this. I was worried when you posted about her leaving the sober house where she'd been doing so well. With my difficult child too there is almost always a guy involved when she relapses. These romances are typically short-lived, if that is any consolation. I hope she remembers how much better her life was when she was reallly working at it in the first sober house. Any chance she could get back there if she decides she wants too again?
  17. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

  18. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sorry Nancy.

    The recording keeps repeating itself. What are you going to do different this time to try to make the recording change? I suggest you think about you for now and how you are going to be different this time. Be prepared. She is becoming the boy who cried wolf. When she talks of rehab the next time....what will you say?
  19. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Busy it is different. She no longer lives here. She is still in the second sober house. She can only affect me from afar and it's much easier to detach. Supposedly she is back on track in the program but that is between her and her support group, I stay out of it. I told her a while back that her sobriety is her responsibility, not mine and I will no longer take that on. The rest of the family went on vacation this year, I am enjoying the calmness and quiet of the house. Of course I still worry but it is no longer my problem.

  20. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I'm sorry, Nancy. I've really been pulling for your difficult child. I hope this is the last time. :(