She was denied a court appointed lawyer

[PatriotsGirl]

Does anyone know anything about that process? She received a letter and gave me permission to open it - it had said the judge denied her a free attorney. The judge found her not indigent.

She is homeless with no job. I don't know how anyone can say she is not indigent, but I can think of two possible reasons she was denied:

1. she gave this address - maybe the judge figures mom and dad will pay for a lawyer? (NOT going to happen)

or

2. since she found a way to bond out, the judge figures she can find a way to obtain a lawyer

Anyone know how or why they deny people?

 

[Mattsmom277]

Is there someone at the court house you can call to ask those very questions? Be sure to state clearly she does NOT live with you, IS homeless, has NO job and you are NOT liable for her expenses for court and will NOT be contributing to her attorney, court fees, living expenses etc. That she is on her OWN with nothing and clearly IS indigent. There likely is some sort of appeal process. If you are inclined, you may want to assist that process just to ensure that all are clear you are NOT going to be footing any bills.

Aside from that, if it happens that she ends up without an attorney? Maybe that's not such a bad thing. Nobody to help her dodge the consequences so to speak or get her off more lightly. She certainly hasn't been learning from her mistakes, perhaps this is the changing day in her world, as they say. I know that sounds heartless. Please know I don't mean it like that at ALL. I truly want the best for all the difficult child's on the board, and particularly something about your difficult child touches me and I find myself rooting for her despite mistake after mistake. I want to see her change, get clean, find joy and peace and become the mother that you want her to be and that baby needs her to be. I'm simply thinking perhaps this is a blessing in disguise.

Regardless of how this all plays out, please know I don't post here much anymore but I do read frequently and have tried to keep up with everyones difficult children. I know how hard you are working on detachment and doing a great job about it. This may be the hardest test of that detachment for you, but I know you are up to the task. I'll keep rooting for your girl.

 

[toughlovin]

I would definitely call the court or she should. Do the consequences include possible jail time? I think they do. I know here that if the consequences don't include jail time you are not entitled to a free lawyer.

*TL

 

[PatriotsGirl]

Is there someone at the court house you can call to ask those very questions? Be sure to state clearly she does NOT live with you, IS homeless, has NO job and you are NOT liable for her expenses for court and will NOT be contributing to her attorney, court fees, living expenses etc. That she is on her OWN with nothing and clearly IS indigent. There likely is some sort of appeal process. If you are inclined, you may want to assist that process just to ensure that all are clear you are NOT going to be footing any bills.

Aside from that, if it happens that she ends up without an attorney? Maybe that's not such a bad thing. Nobody to help her dodge the consequences so to speak or get her off more lightly. She certainly hasn't been learning from her mistakes, perhaps this is the changing day in her world, as they say. I know that sounds heartless. Please know I don't mean it like that at ALL. I truly want the best for all the difficult child's on the board, and particularly something about your difficult child touches me and I find myself rooting for her despite mistake after mistake. I want to see her change, get clean, find joy and peace and become the mother that you want her to be and that baby needs her to be. I'm simply thinking perhaps this is a blessing in disguise.

Regardless of how this all plays out, please know I don't post here much anymore but I do read frequently and have tried to keep up with everyones difficult children. I know how hard you are working on detachment and doing a great job about it. This may be the hardest test of that detachment for you, but I know you are up to the task. I'll keep rooting for your girl.

Thank you!!! husband and I are in the same line of thinking. That maybe her not having a lawyer isn't such a bad thing. Maybe NOW something will be done. She has always taken court and laws as a joke. Thinking they simply don't apply to her. She STILL has not done one thing that her probation requires of her. NONE. It is absolutely ridiculous. And the longer it goes on with no repurcussions to her, the more she is proved right. It drives me crazy.

I am also kind of wondering if my phone call to the courts had anything to do with it - giving them her history...?

 

[PatriotsGirl]

I would definitely call the court or she should. Do the consequences include possible jail time? I think they do. I know here that if the consequences don't include jail time you are not entitled to a free lawyer.

*TL

Wait, I think that is exactly what it is - I just looked up first time battery offense in Georgia and it is a misdemeaner. No jail time.

So much for hoping this could be a change....but thanks for bringing that up!!

 

[Nancy]

I hope that's what it is PG. No good ever comes with not having an attorney. Don;t trust the courts will do what is best without someone to advocate for her. I would still call the courts to find out why she was denied, just to make sure. I know many parents here who are well off and their adult children are declared indigent because they are not living with them, even some that are living with them. I have watched enough court procedings to see how judges treat people with and without lawyers. The ones with lawyers get their ear most often.

 

[AmericanGirl]

PG,

I agree with Nancy. Have been in way too many courts recently. The system isn't fair.

If it is the law, then my difficult child would stand alone. If it is an error, then I'd want her to get her representation.

On the other hand, I do believe sometimes things happen for a reason. Know what I mean??

*sending you peace.....sheesh, someone needs to cut YOU a break.

 

[PatriotsGirl]

I took a picture and sent it to her along with the phone number to call and ask why she was denied. I won't make the call for her. She is perfectly capable. If she does not call, then she must deal with the consequences. I do believe things happen for a reason. Hopefully something gives soon...

I do know her appointment with the health department is tomorrow morning at 9am....

 

[Nancy]

You're right PG you should not call the court, she should. Sometimes I mix the stories and forget the background. Your difficult child has had more than enough chances and help and she's refused every one. It's up to her now.

 

[PatriotsGirl]

Oh what an interesting turn of events....so difficult child goes to the doctor today, tells the nurse that he may not be the father so not to let him in the room with them. So, hurt, he leaves and leaves her there. (Don't blame him). He texts me and tells me this and tells me that she is 19 weeks - there is no way that it could be his. He was in jail at the time. Says I got my wish, he is out of the picture and is blocking difficult child from contacting him again.

She texts me and tells me that she is 19 weeks. I ask her what she is having and she tells me no idea - no ultrasound done. (Lovely, so we STILL have no idea if there is anything wrong with the baby!!!!). She then tells me it is not too late to abort. So, I gave her the information she needed to make the phone calls. I told her I honestly think that is best and that I will help her.

So, a few hours later when I get out of work I call her and ask if she made any calls. She says NO WAY I am not doing that!!!! I said, huh? She tells me that she heard the heartbeat, she can't do that now (even though she heard the heartbeat before she mentioned it in the first place??). I then tell her that I know it is not M's. She said I am WRONG. I said there is no way it is his with you being 19 weeks. She then tells me that the doctor told her she conceived on December 20th and that SHE counted 19 weeks. I told her she doesn't know how to count if that is the case.

I know it has been a while - but doesn't the doctor tell you how many weeks you are and then tells you when you most likely conceived???

I smell difficult child trying to scramble to cover and make this baby his even though I don't think it is. The man is 36 years old and has never, ever got a woman pregnant. I never really thought it was his to begin with. The fact that she is still trying to make it his is downright disturbing. But, he is just as disturbed. He said he blocked difficult child from contacting him yet they have been on the phone all day...I have to wonder if he is buying into her BS simply because he has always wanted a child so bad. My goodness, can this situation get any worse???

This is SHEER hades. It has been such a horrible day and this is the only place I can vent about it...I am embarassed to say that husband and I had a glimmer of hope today that she was going to terminate. I see nothing but disaster coming for this baby...and I know husband and I say NO way about raising another child but HE was adopted and had severe emotional problems because of it even though he was adopted by the most perfect family anyone could ask for. I don't know if HE could handle sending his grandchild into the system. Nor I for that matter. Yet I know I want nothing to do with another round of parenting. NOTHING.

 

[Nancy]

Talk about a yo-yo.. One minute she wants an abortion and the next minute she doesn't. One minute he's the father and the next minute he isn't.

Sigh, it doesn't get any easier.

 

[PatriotsGirl]

Well it has obviously been far too long since I have been pregnant. She was right on. I looked up how a doctor determines how far along you are and saw they calculate from last period - not actual conception. So, two weeks after the baby was created, she was considered four weeks. So she was exactly right on when she had her period and when she got pregnant. I sent her an apology - totally my bad. M didn't know any better - he did like I did and counted back 19 weeks.

So, I texted M to let him know we were both wrong. He told me that he has been reading the same thing. Then he said she has been telling him all about her appointment and how she sobbed when she heard the heartbeat.

Please God, I pray that heartbeat triggered something in her....

 

[HaoZi]

I think, in many states, if she goes for anything other than Medicaid for the baby (foodstamps, etc), they'll go for child support and perhaps force a DNA test if he doesn't sign that it is his. Then if he doesn't pay... well, there's consequences for that, too.

 

[greenrene]

Yes, it's calculated from the first day of your last period. But, with all her issues, I find it hard to believe that she could remember that info so exactly... I also am flabbergasted that no ultrasound was done to verify dates, etc.

I am in the middle of my 19th week, FWIW.

 

[susiestar]

Please work to not feel bad about that glimmer of hope. You are being realistic. While a grandchild may be a blessing, you know this one will most probably have a LOT of problems due to his mother's choices. As she is going to have the baby, can you call the cops when you know she is high? Can you call child services to see if they will do anything to/with/for a mother who is using? Different states have different consequences for moms who use while pregnant. It might be good to know hwat your state will do and to maybe use that.

I have always thought that mothers who use illegal drugs while pregnant should be locked up for the duration of the pregnancy. At that point the child's right to be born unpolluted and undamaged should be the priority, but it is a tough thing to legislate. I have no idea how you would legislate something like that, Know what I mean??

 

[PatriotsGirl]

Please work to not feel bad about that glimmer of hope. You are being realistic. While a grandchild may be a blessing, you know this one will most probably have a LOT of problems due to his mother's choices. As she is going to have the baby, can you call the cops when you know she is high? Can you call child services to see if they will do anything to/with/for a mother who is using? Different states have different consequences for moms who use while pregnant. It might be good to know hwat your state will do and to maybe use that.

I have always thought that mothers who use illegal drugs while pregnant should be locked up for the duration of the pregnancy. At that point the child's right to be born unpolluted and undamaged should be the priority, but it is a tough thing to legislate. I have no idea how you would legislate something like that, Know what I mean??

I totally and completely agree!!!! She will be sentenced to rehab when she goes to court. Just waiting now....hopefully they will follow through. I found out today through baby daddy that she has an ultrasound appointment on Wednesday this week. Crossing my fingers that it REALLY helps it to sink in with difficult child.

Tomorrow morning she is supposed to report to pretrial diversion services at 9am. I PRAY they will be popping her with a drug test given the history that I gave them. Hopefully the law will really step up now...