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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 253618" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I am one of the strictest "get them out of the house" moms here, but in your son's case, I don't think I'd be doing that and here is why. It's JMO.</p><p>In spite of all the help he has received, he may have been misdiagnosed. My guess (although I'm not a doctor) is that he is somewhere on the autism spectrum, probably Aspergers, and, if so, you can have an IQ of 160 and still be too socially panicked/inept/terrified to work. What are "Aspie traits, but not enough" anyway? We heard that about my son too, and he's on the spectrum. And it is socially debilitating. And throwing him out won't change that.</p><p>My best friend's son has an IQ of 160 and has Aspergers. He is 31 and just finally got married (found her in Chile over the internet) and is just now moving out in assisted living. He has Disability once a month and can not work. He has tried at least twenty jobs for which he always get fired or walks out. Some would say he is capable, but he really isn't. There are things he doesn't "get" about interacting with people and he can never keep even a janitor's job. With an IQ of 160!!</p><p>Your son isn't doing drugs. He isn't being disrespectful. He is lying because he is afraid you will throw him out if he tells you that he is too afraid to go to school, and he feels you won't understand. It's not like he's lying about staying out all nigiht or taking dope. If this were me, I would never through a young adult like this at a shelter. I'd try to get him an assisted living apartment and a social worker. He may need to work at a sheltered workshop, in spite of his high IQ, or he may need to collect disability and just learn how to survive day-to-day with a little adult assistance. He clearly isn't like most kids who I think need the harsh realities of life. </p><p>Your son's therapist may be wrong. I think he is. I don't believe that your son should be punished--although finding him viable alternatives is a very good idea. After all, regardless, you can't live forever and he needs to have a place to stay. I have a son on the autism spectrum and I know he's smart and he has had interventions all of his life, but when he becomes a so-called adult (and these kids often don't become adults until they are 25), he will still probably need some help. We have different expectations of him than of our other four kids. Even if your son truly doesn't have Aspergers Syndrome, he is still very disabled. Remember that a therapist is but one opinion. I've had twenty tdocs in my day and most of then stunk and didn't "get" me at all. In the end, you know your son best. You have to do what you feel is right.</p><p>Again, this is JMO, but this is not a child that I'd just throw out of the house. Unlike young drug addicts, I don't think it will be a wake up call for hiim or that he is intentionally disregarding your wishes. Maybe you are in denial and feel he is more capable than he is. Anyone who is Aspie-like would likely be a sitting duck for tougher people in shelters, get robbed, beaten up, or duped. I can't even imagine my son on the streets that way--he wouldn't be tough enough to handle it, and everyone would take advantage of him, maybe even sexually.</p><p>Again JMO. Hope the post is taken in the good-natured spirit it was intended.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 253618, member: 1550"] I am one of the strictest "get them out of the house" moms here, but in your son's case, I don't think I'd be doing that and here is why. It's JMO. In spite of all the help he has received, he may have been misdiagnosed. My guess (although I'm not a doctor) is that he is somewhere on the autism spectrum, probably Aspergers, and, if so, you can have an IQ of 160 and still be too socially panicked/inept/terrified to work. What are "Aspie traits, but not enough" anyway? We heard that about my son too, and he's on the spectrum. And it is socially debilitating. And throwing him out won't change that. My best friend's son has an IQ of 160 and has Aspergers. He is 31 and just finally got married (found her in Chile over the internet) and is just now moving out in assisted living. He has Disability once a month and can not work. He has tried at least twenty jobs for which he always get fired or walks out. Some would say he is capable, but he really isn't. There are things he doesn't "get" about interacting with people and he can never keep even a janitor's job. With an IQ of 160!! Your son isn't doing drugs. He isn't being disrespectful. He is lying because he is afraid you will throw him out if he tells you that he is too afraid to go to school, and he feels you won't understand. It's not like he's lying about staying out all nigiht or taking dope. If this were me, I would never through a young adult like this at a shelter. I'd try to get him an assisted living apartment and a social worker. He may need to work at a sheltered workshop, in spite of his high IQ, or he may need to collect disability and just learn how to survive day-to-day with a little adult assistance. He clearly isn't like most kids who I think need the harsh realities of life. Your son's therapist may be wrong. I think he is. I don't believe that your son should be punished--although finding him viable alternatives is a very good idea. After all, regardless, you can't live forever and he needs to have a place to stay. I have a son on the autism spectrum and I know he's smart and he has had interventions all of his life, but when he becomes a so-called adult (and these kids often don't become adults until they are 25), he will still probably need some help. We have different expectations of him than of our other four kids. Even if your son truly doesn't have Aspergers Syndrome, he is still very disabled. Remember that a therapist is but one opinion. I've had twenty tdocs in my day and most of then stunk and didn't "get" me at all. In the end, you know your son best. You have to do what you feel is right. Again, this is JMO, but this is not a child that I'd just throw out of the house. Unlike young drug addicts, I don't think it will be a wake up call for hiim or that he is intentionally disregarding your wishes. Maybe you are in denial and feel he is more capable than he is. Anyone who is Aspie-like would likely be a sitting duck for tougher people in shelters, get robbed, beaten up, or duped. I can't even imagine my son on the streets that way--he wouldn't be tough enough to handle it, and everyone would take advantage of him, maybe even sexually. Again JMO. Hope the post is taken in the good-natured spirit it was intended. [/QUOTE]
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