She's been sentenced.

[AnnieO]

So... Belle did something stupid and violated her probation. I don't know what as we have had no contact since the day she was arrested in January. About a month now.

Her sentencing, which happened last Thursday, finally appeared on the court site on Sunday. Of ten various felony counts of receiving stolen property, theft from an elderly person, escape, and forgery, 5 were dismissed and the other 5 resulted in her getting concurrent sentences. Total time will be eighteen months with nearly six credit for time served (I cannot make that add up for the life of me, but whatever). She'll be out in February 2015.

Several people have asked if she was coerced or tricked into this stuff by her boyfriend... Sorry to say, but those here who know me probably know better and that it was likely the other way around.

Pat is thriving without that shadow. Typical, annoying teen... Love it! Rose, of course, knows no different and just adores her brother. It's mutual.

I don't know if we will visit Belle...

 

[Childofmine]

How are you feeling about this? Relieved or sad or upset or scared?

I know every time my son gets sentenced I initially feel the "out of control" feeling for a little while, then sadness that "it has come to this" and then relief that "at least he will be somewhere off the street and not high".

Right now my son is in jail. His hearing is tomorrow. His attorney tells me that he will likely be let out soon---still on probation, with a requirement to get a psychological workup and a substance abuse assessment workup.

Ugh. That is what that makes me feel like. He won't be "somewhere" anymore. He will be on the street with no resources and nowhere to go, this, a person, who doesn't have a problem and doesn't need rehab.

May God give me the strength to continue detaching.

I hope you have some good feelings about Belle and this latest development----for YOU.

Blessings and prayers for us all today.

 

[DDD]

It's been such a long time coming but perhaps now she is a little bit older it's possible that she could use the time for introspect and new goal setting. I hope so. Hugs to you. DDD

 

[busywend]

So sad. More time wasted in her life. Don't waste yours.....don't visit her. husband probably should, maybe once a month??

sent from mobile phone

 

[Nancy]

It is very sad. I would wait until you hear from her. If she wants to see you she will call. Hoping she takes this time to do some serious reflecting.

 

[Lucedaleblessed]

If she can beat her boyfriend to freedom and if she is so smart that she takes some kind of education she might have a better chance once she gets out. I only hope that the jail she is in is more secure than ours. The second inmate died in custody last month and there have some criticism about the investigations into these deaths. The standard answer seems to "be-existing heart condition".

At least you know where she is. We have no contact at all and our daughter is on involved in any criminal activity. She just doesn't want us anymore.

 

[PatriotsGirl]

You know where she is. She has a place to sleep and food every day. May not be what she likes, but it is her consequences to face. I REALLY hope this time in jail changes her. I pray she is like my daughter that never, EVER wants to go back once she gets out!!

 

[AnnieO]

She's headed to prison next will. She called husband last night... according to her, she was violated due to her antics in December with her friend and the snow plow. Then why so long? Um.

PTSD kicked in while he was talking to her. Skipped the blood pressure spike and panic attack, this time, but the belly and brain went nuts.

Unfortunately, she's still placing blame elsewhere and swearing the boyfriend and snow plow friend are good people who have made some small mistakes. Maybe they really are that dumb. But I just cannot believe her.

 

[BusynMember]

AnnieO, it's really a shame. The more I'm inside because I don't want to go out in the cold, the more I read this board as I am addicted to it and especially the SA and PE forums. I swear, all these kids sound alike in so many ways, the biggest one being that they don't think about or care about consequences and they do not learn from their mistakes. It's very puzzling.

I'm very sorry. Count your very many blessings...you know you have so many. Your daughter will have to learn on her own, and I truly hope she has that lightbulb moment...

Take care of yourself

 

[lovemysons]

Annie,
I am so sorry it has come to this but my hope is that it is all part of a larger, better plan, down the road.

My husband did not visit my oldest when he went to prison rehab for around a year. I was beside myself at times that husband's heart was so hardend. However, in the long run, it was good for difficult child to know that husband was not "running to his hearts rescue". husband was angry at him...and rightly so, as Oldest difficult child had eventually cost him a client and this was detrimental to our income/livelihood. Plus husband was just plain disgusted with the antics and wanted oldest difficult child to know it!
I have visited both of my difficult child's in prison and it is a fairly painful experience leaving.

I am glad to hear that Pat is thriving and that your littlest is unmarked by Belle's events.

Hugs,
LMS

 

[Scent of Cedar *]

I'm so sorry.

This is one of those times when there just aren't any words.

I wish things had been different, for Belle.

Cedar

 

[DammitJanet]

Sweetie, I know this hurts like almighty hell. No one wants their kid in prison but sometimes that is what it takes. As you know I watch a ton of LockUp on TV and from what I have seen the women's prisons are much better than the mens. They will most likely have programs for her to take advantage of while in there.

I cant tell you whether to visit or not. That is a very hard thing to go through. I felt violated every time they had to search me. I hated hearing all the excuses and promises. I can tell you one thing I would do for her. I would put a small amount of money on her canteen account every week. Dont break the bank but it does help. We always put between 20 and 25 bucks a week on Cory's canteen. That made it so he could buy toothpaste, undies, a few snacks to get through the week.

 

[pasajes4]

They have a roof over their heads, they are fed, they are drug free, you know where they are. We have an opportunity to see them free from drugs and to see who they are when drugs are not fueling their behavior. They have an opportunity to change their lives. We have time to get on with our lives, to take care of our wounds and to focus on the other people in our lives.

 

[toughlovin]

I think you have to do whats right for you. I found visiting my son in jail very hard partly because he is not that talkative with us and staring at each other through the pane of glass was just awkward For me thought it has always been important to show him that we love him... partly because I think he has big abandonment issues and I want him to know we are there for him..... although I wont enable him and have also let him be homeless. Funny balancing act really.

I also will say though I found him being in jail hard, it was a relief compared to him being on the streets.

TL


Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app

 

[Childofmine]

Annie---my son has been in jail multiple times but not yet prison. That will be next if he violates probation again. No breaks---he has had "language" added to his new paperwork. That means no discussion, you're going for the whole term.

I have been told by multiple people multiple times that prison in our state is vastly better than the jail here in my home county (8 stories) where he has been multiple times for months at a time. One time 8 months---the longest time.

In state prison there are many programs available, including earning a college degree while you are there.

I am not trying to put a pink bow on this situation. I can only imagine how hard it is for you.

Maybe, just maybe---this will be the best thing that ever happened to your precious daughter. Maybe this is part of her spiritual journey that only she can walk until she arrives just where God wants her to be.

Hang in there. This is hard, hard stuff to bear and we are here with you to bear it.

 

[PatriotsGirl]

Agreed - my daughter was in county jail all those months. They were in their cells all of the time and only let out for one two hour break a day...they could choose to shower, make a phone call, etc. But that was it. I think prison is a bit different...she could get something out of it...

 

[AnnieO]

I hope so.

She's there... They allowed her to call husband today, and he got to hear all the rules for phone calls. She only got to say hello - they are putting allowed people on her list.

It seems like a bad dream.

 

[pasajes4]

I am right there with you. It really does not matter that they got themselves where they are. It is not the future that we wanted for them or for anyone else that we know and love. It feels like someone kicked us in the heart and yet at the same time we feel a huge amount of relief that they have been stopped in their self destructive tracks.

 

[Carri]

Kicked in the heart. Exactly.


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[DDD]

Amen, Carri. DDD